This was supposed to be my submission for #jilyshipweek @hpshipweeks but I procrastinated. A lot. But here it is anyway. Hope you like it!
Rating: T
Word Count: 3519
Read it on AO3
It was probably the lumpy uncomfortable bed and the faint smell of nasty tasting potions that was somehow very familiar that James deduced he must be in the hospital wing. His head was pounding, breathing was labored and painful, and he could feel something heavy pinning his left leg to the bed. He tried opening his eyes or moving his hand but they wouldn’t budge. His mind felt fuzzy, and he couldn’t remember where he was before landing himself here.
Someone violently sniffed beside him. James could sense some kind of movement on his right before there was a soft touch on his right hand. The person, assuming the source was indeed a human being, grabbed his hand and interlocked his fingers with their own. He felt another hand on top of the interlocked one, and then something warm and familiar. A set of lips. A lingering kiss. Lily.
“Lily, he’ll be fine,” a deep voice said from his left. Sirius sounded tired. “It’s just some cuts and bruises, really.”
“Do these look like mere bruises from a sodding quidditch match to you?!” screeched Lily. Her voice almost broke at the end.
“Lily, you’ve got to calm down, Madam Pompfrey said he’ll be okay.” Remus’ throaty voice insisted.
“But why didn’t you both run?” Lily asked, in no mood of calming down.
“Because he’s James sodding Potter. The same reason Dumbledore found it fit to make the tosser Head Boy. I may have taken the mickey of him, but that man certainly knew what he was doing,” Sirius chuckled. “We were running,” he continued after a beat and sighed. “He just stopped near the staircase to usher some second years in that corridor out of harm’s way. The fire hit in the chest just as he tumbled down the entire flight of stairs.”
Lily did not reply and there was silence for a moment.
“What was it? The fire, I mean. I’ve never seen McGonagall so terrified.” Lily inquired.
“I don’t know, but it was bloody terrifying.” Sirius replied and gulped.
“Fiendfyre.” Remus said promptly, and there was a moment of pin drop silence.
“Pray tell, Remus, how do know this?”
“I may have accidentally on purpose borrowed a book from the restricted section last year and I came across it.” Remus said in a small voice without a hint of guilt over breaking school rules.
“But isn’t that, like, dark magic?” asked another small voice. Peter?
“Yes.”
“But I don’t understand how..”
“Fiendfyre is fairly easy to conjure, if you know the right incantation and wand movement. It’s difficult to control, that’s what makes it the fire deadly.” Remus explained.
“But how in Merlin’s pants did they get their hands on such information?” Sirius asked, worry clear in his voice.
“How do you think?”
“Are they.. really.. but..”
“Seems like our doubts were right.”
“But Voldemort wouldn’t dare recruit children right under the nose of Dumbledore.”
“It’s basically a family business, you know that Sirius. Who is Dumbledore to object when their parents are encouraging it?”
“No, even Voldemort wouldn’t be that thick. Besides, what good would Avery do?”
“Probably set everyone on fire.” Remus quipped and all three boys roared with laughter.
“I wish he would send me an invite to join his little clan. I’d accept just to spit in his face when he welcomes me.”
“And that would be the tragic end of the older son of the noble house of Black.” Remus sang, his voice changing octaves.
“Tragic, my arse. I’d die a hero. The boy who literally spit in the face of dark magic. They’d write songs in my praise, build statues in my honor and James would name his first son after me.”
Remus and Peter’s snorted with laughter and James bet his beloved broom that Sirius would be pouting and glaring at them.
“What if he has all girls?” Peter asks, still chuckling.
The boys’ banter became background noise as they continued, and James concentrated on Lily sitting beside him. She was uncharacteristically quiet, and that was never a good sign. It was the calm before the storm unfolded.
“This is my fault.” She whispers, as if on queue, before breaking down. He could feel something wet sliding down his hands now. Tears. She was crying. She, Lily Evans, was crying over him, James Potter. Who knew this day would grace the Earth?
“Don’t you dare blame yourself for this, Red. I mean it.” Sirius said angrily.
“No, they wouldn’t have.. they wouldn’t have if I wasn’t..” she was sobbing now. No, Lily, don’t cry over me. I’m fine! James’ heart longed to put his arms around her, to wipe the tears off her face and kiss her. To reassure her that he was indeed fine or will be anyways. But he couldn’t so much as twitch his fingers to let Lily know he was here. That he’d always be here for her.
“They wouldn’t have what, Lily? Come after these two? Do you not realize how absurd you sound? You expect everyone in this castle to stop befriending muggle borns for the fear of getting attacked?” Remus asked incredulously.
“Blood traitor, and bloody proud.” Sirius declared happily and probably followed that with a shit eating grin.
“But..” Lily began but Sirius cut her off.
“I’m healthy as a horse, Lils, and I’m sure James will be too eventually. He would prance around dancing awfully in his bloody cast the moment he hears that he landed those ruddy Slytherins in the hospital wing.” chuckled Sirius, trying to lighten the mood. I do not prance, Sirius Black, James thought shooting daggers at his best mate in his mind.
“If you’ve forgotten the events of the last hour, you both are here too!” Lily reminded.
“Semantics,” scoffed Sirius. “We did give them a hard time before Avery conjured the fire.”
There was some shuffling, and then silence. James was knackered and he could feel sleep creeping up on him again.
“He’ll be safe without me.” Lily whispered, maybe hoping the three boys wouldn’t hear.
“Lily you’re being ridiculous.” Remus argues.
“No, if I wasn’t..” she stopped short and took in a deep breath. “He’s a pureblood, Remus. For Merlin’s sake, he’s a Potter! It’s not his battle to fight. It isn’t safe! I can’t risk his life!”
“You’re delusional if you think this isn’t his battle! Or Sirius’s! Or Peter’s! Or mine! This is all of ours, pureblood or not! And that’s how we’re going to fight it, together!” Remus bellowed, his voice echoing.
“You’re not alone in this, Lily. None of you are.” Peter added.
“Lily, you are not breaking my best mate’s heart for whatever ruddy logic your mind tells you. The guy is hopelessly in love with you and he even plans to marry you one day. I’m guessing- no I’m pretty sure he hasn’t told you that yet, okay I’m sorry, woman, stop giving me that look.” Sirius stammered.
“Lils, I know him to be the most loyal person I’ve ever met, and…” He paused and sighed. He continued in a very low voice, almost as if he would break down too.
"And there isn’t anything the guy wouldn’t do for you if he loves you. Please.. Just, don’t break his heart like that. You’d be breaking yours too.“
James couldn’t quite make sense of the words being spoken but he tried to fight the sleep taking over him like a warm blanket, long and hard, but he lost and it was dark again.
There was someone whispering. A very faint whisper.
”-and it’s been 3 days, James. Your bruises have healed and the cast has been removed. You broke your leg very badly in the fall. It took Madam Pompfrey a whole day to fix it properly. She wasn’t even mad, I heard she told you she’d refuse to fix you up next time you land yourself in one of her beds due to your pranks.“ Lily’s voice is warm, like honey.
"The burns though, they’ll take time to heal. Your body is covered in bandages. You don’t smell like you anymore.” She whines. “When you get up, I’ll force you to take a nice long bath and come to me only when you’re smelling like you.” James could sense a smile in her voice. “I’m wearing your quidditch jersey and it’s already started to lose your scent and smell more and more like me. I don’t know if I’ve told you this, but your scent is very comforting.” James blushed inwardly at this confession.
“Sirius wasn’t too badly hurt. Just a few broken ribs and burns on his forehead. He was positively enraged when he realized the fire burnt some of his hair at the back of his head. It was hilarious, honestly. I’ve never seen him swear so much, and mind you, this is Sirius we’re talking about.” She chuckled a bit.
“Peter has come in every day with some new chocolate frogs for you even though your bedside table is already overflowing with chocolates and flowers, courtesy of your little fan club.”
“And me?” She paused to sigh. “I’ve not left this chair for 3 days and I will make sure you remember it for the rest of your godforsaken life cause this chair is uncomfortable and my arse hurts. I think it might be permanently deformed. The boys nick some food off the table and bring it for me. And I’ve been stealing some of your frogs too, I hope you don’t mind. Madam Pompfrey is kind enough to let me stay for the weekend, though I think she finds it utterly amusing to chuck Sirius out of the wing when he disturbs her peace.”
“Your mom visited. She broke down seeing you like this. No mother deserves to see her only son lying unconscious in a hospital bed. I tried to comfort her, but then we were both in tears and Sirius was the one comforting us. She’s nice, your mom. She had to leave though. I promised her I’d owl her the moment you open your eyes.”
“Professor McGonagall came too. She sat by your bedside for a good hour, I think. I know she makes it looks like she despises you and your pranks but she positively dotes on you. I reckon it’s because of last year’s Quidditch Cup sitting proudly on the table in her office. This reminds me, Gryffindor trounced Ravenclaw yesterday. I didn’t go to see the match, and neither did the boys, but your team came here after the victory. They won 320 to 140. You trained them well, Captain.”
“Sirius charmed all the chocolate frogs to tap dance on your bed. Then screamed and ran off like the drama queen he is when I sent the same frogs charging after him. One jumped down his shirt and he started wriggling trying to get it out. The sod twisted his ankle and fell down. Remus laughed so much he too fell down from his chair. Such hopeless tossers you have for mates, James, I love them.” She giggles.
She sighs. She sounds really tired and worn out.
“I don’t know if you can hear but, I just want to say it. I know it’s just been a month since we’ve started dating, and I was so convinced that we wouldn’t work out, but you’ve made me so happy, James.” Her voice wobbles at the end.
“James, I love you. I think I have for a quite a while now. Please, wake up because I want to look into your eyes and say it.” With that, there is soft warm kiss on his forehead and everything goes black again.
James wasn’t sure what had woken him up because there was pin drop silence in the room. It was a few seconds before the events of that day played in his mind and he immediately sat up straight with wide eyes. Something dropped with a clutter beside him and he suddenly felt so dizzy that he collapsed back onto the bed with a groan.
“Woah woah calm down there mate.” James promptly looked at the source of the voice and squinted but all he could see was a black blur but he knew that black blur very well. He felt something being nudged into his hands and immediately put his glasses on as the world around him suddenly came into focus. The infirmary was empty, his being the only bed that was occupied. The little table on the end of his bed was littered with both empty and unopened boxes of chocolate. A small gryffindor banner was dangling from the edge of the table.
“Lily is gonna hex me so bad I’ll resemble a toad. You had all the time in the world, mate, and you picked now to wake up from your deep slumber?” an annoyed Sirius was babbling while picking up the Bertie Borts he had dropped in surprise.
“What?”
“Lily. She is gonna be so pissed.” he was pouting now. “The crazy woman hasn’t left your bedside in 4 days, James!” He exclaimed. “She looked absolutely exhausted, and not to mention she smelled rather awful. So I had to yank her off that chair she had been glued to and force her under a shower.”
“She wanted to be there when you woke up.” he adds after a beat.
James tried sitting up again, and with a little help from Sirius he was propped against the pillow. Yanking the duvet covering his body down, he surveyed his own injuries noticing white bandages littered on his bare abdomen and chest. His legs looked fine, there were faint bruises on his arms and his left hand was lightly wrapped up in a bandage.
“What happened?” James asked in spite of remembering everything with vivid detail.
“Mulciber and Avery.” is all he says before collapsing on the infamous chair. James nods, knowing Sirius doesn’t want to recall anything. “Don’t worry. McGonagall took care of it. Apparently an attack on her beloved chaser and head boy is not something she takes lightly.”
“How long was I out?” James asks.
“4 days, I think. Gave us all a good scare, you did. Especially Lily.”
“Is she okay though?”
“She was quite shaken up.”
“And you?”
“Spiffing, although Remus would beg to differ. He reckons my hair is no longer silky.”
James furrowed his brows at the absurdity of the statement from his best mate.
“Anyways, Mum Potter visited. She wanted to shift you to St. Mungo’s but Pompfrey insisted that you’re being taken care of here. She was very worried, started crying. Seeing her cry, James, I swore I’ll never forgive you for making her cry like that, Lily too, I was worried even I’d start bawling my eyes too seeing the two like that but-”
“James?” Lily was frozen at the entrance to the room, as pale as a ghost. Her eyes were a bit puffy with prominent dark circles underneath it, and they were already lining with tears.
“James?” She asked again as if she was sure it was a hallucination of some sort. Relief washed over James as he heard her voice again and the tears dropped from her eyes.
“I’m here.” Was all he said before Lily closed the distance between her and the bed and threw her arms around his neck. Instinctively, James wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, feeling her body shaking with sobs.
“I’ll owl Mum you’re awake.” Sirius said, hiding a smile, and James nodded.
“Hey, I’m okay, I’m okay.” James chanted and ran his hand on her back soothingly. Fresh from a shower, she smelled absolutely divine and he buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her scent and letting it envelope around him. “Shh, Lily I’m okay.”
It was long before Lily regained her composure, she did eventually, her arms sliding around his shoulders to cup his cheeks. James pressed a light kiss to her forehead.
“You were unconscious for 4 days, James.” She cried.
“I’m sorry.”
“You better be sorry for putting me through that.” Lily fumed but James just chuckled. She buried her head in his neck. “Just, promise me, you’ll never make me go through that ever again.”
“Do you plan to keep me around for that long, Evans?” James cocked his head to the side, looking at her and grinning widely.
“Hmm.” She nods. “You’re stuck with me, Potter, whether you like it or not.”
“Oh I don’t know about that, you’re rather needy. And you have way too many mood swings, I can’t physically keep up. It’s frustrating, you know, when you-” He teased, grinning mischievously.
“Shut up, Potter.” Lily smiled despite the tears still leaking out of her eyes, and kissed him.
“We’re never getting past the surnames, are we?” James asked, as he pulled away a bit.
“Nuh uh. Never. It’s our thing now.” She agreed.
James and Lily sat there like that for a long time, foreheads touching and breaths mingling, just relieved to be together again. Then Lily shifted, probably remembering his bandages and broken leg, but James’ arms wrapped more tightly around her, steering her until she was fully perched on his lap.
“Your leg-” She began to protest but James cut her off.
“Doesn’t hurt.” He reassured her and she gave him a small smile. Her hands trailed lightly down his chest and stomach, gently circling the white bandage sticking to his skin. James reached out, hooking a finger under her chin and forcing her to look into his eyes.
“Hey, I’m okay.” Lily looked at him for a long time, probably reassuring herself, before nodding.
“You smell.” She said at last, wrinkling her nose, a playful smile worming its way onto her face.
James laughed, and brought his face closer to hers.
“Do I, now?” He asked, raising one eyebrow.
“It’s absolutely vile, not that you smelled good before too-”
“Oh please, my cologne makes birds swoon on their very feet.”
“You’ve been fed lies.” She argued, shaking her head and laughing.
“Have not-”
“Have too. I don’t know who told you that, I hope it’s not Sirius because he smells like a wet dog and that is-”
“But you find it comforting.” It’s not a question. Lily looked at him, shocked and her eyes widened as realization dawned on her.
“You heard?” she whispered, her lips trembling.
“Bits and pieces, here and there.” James says nonchalantly, his hands suddenly trailing down Lily’s back. “How’s that lovely arse of yours?” he asked with a smirk, his hands cupping her arse.
“Squished like a rotten tomato, thanks to your beauty sleep.”
“It’s still a lovely arse.” James remarked.
“Flattery won’t get you anywhere.”
“Trust me, I’m well versed with that. But I do expect my Jersey back.” He says, tugging at the hem of his jersey that she’s wearing.
“Finders, keepers.”
“Technically, you stole it.”
“I’m allowed to steal my boyfriend’s jersey whenever I please, Potter. Some blokes even find that endearing.”
“Hmm, it does looks rather nice on you. I like this, especially. I might just allow this violation.” He says, indicating to the Potter written across the back.
“Possessive much?”
“Or I could just give you detention for stealing.”
“How about I bribe you with some fantastic snogging that will make you swoon?”
“Lily Evans, you dirty little thing.”
Lily gave him a little smile and leaned in so that their cheeks were touching.
“But I’m your dirty little thing.” She whispered seductively in his ear that made James very, very uncomfortable in a good way.
“I’ve pictured you saying that so many times, but never in a bed in the sodding hospital wing where anyone can walk in.”
“Hmm.. maybe later then.” Lily smirked, and turns around to get off the bed.
“Hey! Come back here!” James whines, pulling her back towards him.
Lily smiled, and then settled again, her head against James’ shoulder, breathing on his neck. She pressed the lightest of kisses on the base of his throat.
“I was so worried, you know.” She whispers.
“I know.”
“It was so hard, James, seeing you lying there bruised and bloodied all because you’re with me, I’d never forgive myself-”
“Breaking up with me, are you?” Lily stilled. Then not even a second later, he was looking into her beautiful emerald eyes which were laced with worry.
“James, I-”
“No, Lily, I thought we were above this blood status-”
“No, James-”
“Then why? I don’t give two hoots about-”
“JAMES!” Lily exclaimed, putting her hand on his lips to stop him from speaking. Then she whispered.
“You’re all I have left.”
“I love you.” James whispered and a vibrant smile flashed across Lily’s face, new tears pooling in her eyes.
“I love you too.”
James cupped both her cheeks, and kissed her with all the energy he had left.
“Also, I’m going to hex Sirius for being the first one to tell you.”
“Hex him together, shall we? I have a few things I can think of that need avenging.”
A little Jily passage for #jilyshipweek by @hpshipweeks
“Lily?”
“Mmh?”
“I’ve never really asked you this, but what made you change your mind about me? I mean, apart from my glorious looks. Those have only improved over the years. And that’s saying something, considering they were pretty good to begin with.”
“You arrogant bastard.”
“No one can deny that I’ve aged well. Now answer the question. Please?”
“You’ve been bothering me with this all morning, James.”
“As I’ve said and shown many times before, I’m a curious guy. Please?”
“Alright, alright. Well... People change. You changed. Drastically. You were the worst, honestly. I hated you. But I feel like the good things in you starting standing out more as soon as you eliminated some of the bad ones.”
“Some? Are you implying that I am not perfect? Because I can assure you-”
“Let me finish before you start complaining! Anyway, you changed and I started seeing both sides of you, the good side too. You were loyal. Helpful. Smart. Funny. I still hated you, but I could acknowledge your half-decent side.”
“Half-decent. Hmph.”
“Gradually, I started seeing your other sides, your different moods. You became complete. You became more than an egocentric bully. I started seeing you in color. I saw your true colors. And I realized that I loved them.”
As with most things involving the sixth year Gryffindor boys, a night of drinking with their classmates by the fire turns into a lighthearted competition, but every competition needs to have a winner, especially when it's a kissing competition.
ffn / AO3
It wasn’t very often that the sixth year Gryffindor girls found themselves willingly sharing a space in the common room with the boys in their year. This was due, in part, to the fact that Emmeline Vance used to date Remus Lupin and Marlene McKinnon used to shag Sirius Black. It was due in greater part to the fact that Lily Evans, until quite recently, really, used to find it impossible to be around James Potter without the two of them ending up in a screaming match.
Surprisingly enough, it was the disastrous incident that had occurred by the Black Lake late last year following their Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL – an incident which lost Lily a best friend and caused James, Lily, and Severus Snape (the once-best-friend in question) no small amount of humiliation – which had made it easier for the two of them to be around each other. With Severus no longer constantly complaining to her about James and his friends, Lily found herself much less annoyed by their antics and she had to admit that, actually, James Potter was pretty damn funny at times and, she had admitted to Mary just last week after a bit much to drink, he was quite fit.
Mary MacDonald, on the other hand, had no such reason to avoid the Gryffindor boys – she never dated, hated, shagged, snogged, or even possibly fancied any of the four of them – but she had always gotten on better with the girls in her dormitory and, due to a sense of loyalty, tended to avoid the boys right alongside her friends. Heather Mumford had never been particularly close to either of the two groups of sixth years, instead choosing to spend a majority of her time with the Hufflepuffs in their year, one of whom was her twin brother. And then there was Lobelia Cartwright who, unlike any of her dormmates, usually chose the Gryffindor boys in their year over any other group in the school. Of course, having grown up close friends with Peter Pettigrew, no one expected anything different of her.
Despite the fact that, until recently, such a gathering was nearly unheard of unless a very important exam loomed for their year, all ten of the sixteen year-old Gryffindors were gathered in front of the common room fireplaces, James, Remus, and Lobelia having secured the space hours earlier for their usual group of five. James and Lobelia had taken the couch while Remus occupied an armchair and the three of them had set their bags in the other chair, defending it with a load of uninviting scowls and, honestly most likely the quite intimidating presence of James Potter alone.
Then Heather, having recently formed a small bond with the other five girls in her dormitory, had sat herself down quietly next to Lobelia just as Sirius and Peter climbed through the portrait hole, laughing about something and lugging a laden-down rucksack between them.
“Nearly got apprehended by Filch,” Peter explained as they set the bag down on the table in front of them. “That damn cat of his. Luckily, Padfoot scared her off.”
At this explanation, James, Remus, and Lobelia (who, having hung around the boys for the better part of six years, knew all of their secrets including furry little problems and illegal, highly dangerous, likely-Azkaban-worthy transformations) joined in their laughter. Out of the loop, Heather looked around at them and gave a wry smile, understanding that she was seated in the middle of an inside-joke and still appreciating that, clearly something highly amusing had been said or done. She had half a mind to get up and leave them to their private jokes, but before she could, Sirius sat himself down half on top of James who, laughing still, shoved him to the side so that he fell unceremoniously into Lobelia, who glared playfully and moved over to make room for him. This caused Heather to scoot over to make more room for Lobelia, who smiled at her and took her hand, effectively preventing Heather from leaving.
“Oh, Pete, won’t you just sit down!” Lobelia said suddenly, leaping up from the couch and shoving Peter down into the seat she had previously occupied.
James, Remus, and Sirius all laughed as Peter smiled at Heather and turned a furious shade of red. Heather had the sense that she was intruding on another inside joke, but didn’t really mind, having harbored a highly secret interest in Peter Pettigrew for the better part of two years. James gave Sirius another shove, presumably so that he wasn’t so crowded on his end of the couch.
Peter, who was more than a little bit broader than Lobelia, had to lift his arm to settle on the back of the couch behind Heather to make more room so that she wasn’t crushed into the arm of the couch. Completely by accident, Heather thought, she found Peter practically cuddling her in the tight squeeze and felt her cheeks flame up to match his. She completely missed the pleased look on Peter’s face, feeling perfectly content herself.
Lobelia caught James’s eye and they shared a victorious glance at having gotten Peter and Heather seated so closely together. Turning, she squeezed herself into the armchair with Remus, ignoring his vehement protests that she could have just moved their bags to the floor and taken the other armchair.
Not a full minute later, Lily and Mary came traipsing down the stairs from their dormitory. James spotted them when they were halfway to the portrait hole.
“Oi, Evans!” Both Lily and Mary turned to look at him. “Heading down to the Great Hall?”
It was late in the evening, but the house elves usually continued to serve food later into the night on the weekends. James smiled at the girls, ignoring Sirius, who was mocking him for his indiscrete interest in Lily Evans by making eyes at Remus, who had given up trying to convince Lobelia to let him have the chair to himself and had moved to sit cross-legged on the floor in favor of sorting through the rucksack Sirius and Peter had carried in, withdrawing from it a veritable feast and several large bottles of alcohol. He set it all out on the table in the center of the group.
“A girl’s got to eat, Potter,” Lily called in response.
“Well, sure, everyone has.” James rolled his eyes and gestured to the spread on the table in front of him. “But why don’t you two just join us? We’ve got plenty.”
Lily glanced at Mary, who shrugged, leaving the decision to Lily, who deliberated for a moment longer, scanning the group gathered in front of the fire; her eyes landed on Lobelia and Heather. “All right.”
James beamed and began to stand up to offer his seat to her, but Lily walked past him and chose to sit on the floor beside Remus, with whom she had always got on well. Remus smiled and offered her a napkin; James frowned at this, slightly jealous and incredibly ashamed of himself for it. Before he could decide whether to reclaim his seat or move somewhere else, Mary slipped past him to settle on the couch.
“Ta!” she said brightly. “What a gentleman, proffering your comfortable spot to a lady.”
“My mother raised me well, MacDonald,” James said easily and stepped over to the food to choose a chicken leg to devour before he dropped to the ground on Remus’s other side, folding his long legs up beneath him.
“Those pureblood manners,” Sirius added as he leaned forward to claim a hunk of bread and cheese, which he smashed together and shoved in his mouth whole.
From her stolen armchair, Lobelia watched him in disgust. “And where, exactly, did your pureblood manners go, Black?”
“Sirius is a grand pureblood disappointment, didn’t you know, Lobelia?” Lily quipped lightly as she picked gingerly through a pile of hot chips to find the least soggy ones.
“She’s right, you know,” Sirius said with a grin when he caught Heather’s slightly shocked expression – she wasn’t used to the blunt, teasing honesty that group used, to which Lily – who had recently been spending more time with Lobelia and, therefore, the boys – had clearly grown accustomed. “My dear old mum even blasted my name off the family tapestry this past summer, or so I’ve heard. Course, that had nothing to do with manners.”
“Bloody insane family you come from, Sirius,” Peter said as he moved his arm away from Heather to claim some food for himself. “Makes a lot of sense why you’re so unhinged.”
Across the table, James and Remus both laughed while Lobelia smirked and Lily shoved a chip into her mouth. The other girls, however, seemed uncertain how to react, being not nearly as close to the situation as the others. But then Sirius let out a quick bark of a laugh and the girls felt instantly more at ease.
“Touché,” he said after grabbing a chicken leg from the table and waving it in the air.
Several moments of relative silence passed while the boys and Lobelia all ate as much as they possibly could. Lily caught Heather’s eye as Mary was busy wrestling Sirius for the last hunk of cheese and the two girls exchanged amused looks. It seemed the only time these boys and Lobelia were silent was when they were busy stuffing their faces. And, Lily knew from six years sharing their table in the Great Hall, even that didn’t always do the trick.
It wasn’t long before all that was left on the table was scraps, and then James held up a bottle of spiced rum and proffered it with a grin. “Shall we, then?”
“Get that shit out of my face, mate,” Sirius complained and waved the bottle away. Instead, he got up from his seat for just a moment to grab the bottle of Firewhisky he and Peter had brought back with them.
“Ah, yes.” Peter nodded sagely as he accepted the bottle of rum from James and took a swig before he passed it on to Heather, who looked at it for a short minute before taking a long drink. Peter raised an impressed eyebrow when she had finished and passed it on to Lobelia, who made a face and passed the bottle right back to Peter. “Lo and Sirius only drink the awful stuff that literally puts a fire in their bellies.”
“Oi, shut it, Pete!” Lobelia said as she leaned over to wrestle the bottle of Firewhisky from a reluctant Sirius. “Just cos you can’t handle your Firewhisky doesn’t make it awful. Unlike that crap. Rum.” She made a disgusted face at the bottle passing between Peter and Heather before taking a swig of Firewhisky. She made a pointed, satisfied smacking sound when she handed the bottle back off to Sirius. “Burns going down, just like any drink of champions should.”
Remus lifted a second bottle of Firewhisky off the table and took a swig, offering it to Lily, who also drank from the bottle before giving it back to him.
“Hear, hear!” Sirius cheered, and brought the bottle to his lips, tipping his head back with a dramatic gulp.
“One of you slags needs to give up a bottle!” James complained suddenly and Sirius, Remus, and Peter, each of whom was holding a bottle of some sort of alcohol, all looked over at him. “I’m the one who started this and I haven’t gotten any!”
“Well, to be honest, you never do,” Remus said mildly. “Get any, that is.”
“Sod off,” James said with a scowl and stole the bottle out of Remus’s hand. He tried to ignore the fact that his face was suddenly very warm as everyone around him laughed. He took an over-large gulp of Firewhisky and nearly coughed. “I get plenty, fuck you very much.”
“Snogging ain’t plenty, Potter,” Marlene chirped as she and Emmeline suddenly appeared over Mary’s shoulder.
“Though I’ve heard he’s quite good at it,” Emmeline allowed, reaching over to take the bottle of rum, which had by now made its way to Mary.
“Where did you hear that?” Lily questioned, but no one seemed to hear her over James’s sudden and effusive thanks for Emmeline’s kind comment.
“Of course, Potter,” Emmeline said, taking a sip from the bottle. “And what are you lot all doing anyway?”
“And why weren’t we invited?” Marlene frowned at Lily. “I thought you and Mary were going to meet us in the Great Hall.”
“Clearly they received a better offer,” Emmeline said before any actual answer could be offered, and grimaced as she handed the bottle to Marlene. “Awful stuff. What else have you got? Ah, Firewhisky. Good.”
“A woman of fine taste, Vance,” Sirius said even as she filched the bottle he had been trying to hide from Lobelia, who frowned at him, clearly wondering why she wasn’t considered a woman of fine taste. Sirius raised an eyebrow at Remus. “Why did you break up with her, again? I was never clear on the reason.”
“Sirius!” Remus protested as he eyed Emmeline cautiously.
She, on the other hand, laughed and dropped the bottle back down in Sirius’s lap. “I seem to recall that I broke up with you, sorry to mar your reputation, darling,” Emmeline told Remus as she moved his, James’s, and Lobelia’s bags to the floor so that she could sit in the other armchair
“What! No, you didn’t.” Remus stared at her indignantly while his mates all laughed at him.
“You were ditched, Rem?” Sirius chortled. Remus found a stray chip and chucked it at him, but Sirius only laughed harder and swiped at imaginary tears.
“And all this time, you’ve been so guiltily convinced that you broke her heart.” Peter smirked at Remus and reached for the bottle of rum that had made its way back to Heather once more. When he tipped it back to his mouth, however, he discovered that it was empty. Heather giggled when he quirked an eyebrow at her.
“I get nervous in large groups,” she told him, her words very slurred. Peter frowned at her, concerned, but no one else seemed to notice.
“Sod off,” Remus said defensively and shoved James, who was patting him consolingly on the back, to the side. He turned to Emmeline, who budged over in the armchair so that Marlene could share with her. “Sorry, darling, but I definitely broke up with you. I distinctly remember it.”
“Yeah?” Marlene raised an eyebrow at him as she sat down, speaking for Emmeline, who was preoccupied rummaging through Remus’s bag for more liquor. “Then what was your reason?”
“My…?”
“Your reason, Remus,” Heather repeated, her voice louder than necessary, and incredibly slurred. The other girls and Peter all looked worried about her, but Remus merely turned questioning eyes to her while James and Sirius laughed lightly. “Like Sirlious said,” – at this bizarre pronunciation of his name, Sirius stopped laughing and frowned at her instead, while James only laughed harder – “why did you even break up with Emmi? ‘F you even did.”
“I had my reasons. Definitely.” Remus reached for the bottle he, James, and Lily were sharing and downed a good bit of it as he hedged the question.
“Heather, you should have some water,” Lily said and Mary quickly conjured a goblet and filled it with water, which she passed across Sirius to Peter, who tried to hand it to Heather.
“Eurgh.” Heather coughed after taking a large gulp. “That’s not rum.”
“That’s the point,” Lobelia said, rolling her eyes as Heather tried to push the cup back to Peter. “Make her drink that, Pete.”
“Oh, what a load of shit!” Emmeline said suddenly, and everyone realized that she and Remus were, apparently, still in disagreement over how they broke up. “That is not how it happened!”
She was very clearly about to inform them all of how, exactly, it did happen, when James interjected loudly. “It was a mutual breakup! Okay? You both decided to end things, only neither of you appropriately expressed that sentiment, apparently, and you’ve been awkwardly avoiding each other for over a year for no reason.” He snatched the bottle back from Remus with an exaggerated sigh, clearly annoyed to be seated in the middle of an ex-lovers’ quarrel.
“Either that or neither of you wanted to break up and you’ve both been secretly broken-hearted by the other because you both think you’ve been ditched and you’re in denial.” Lily reached over Remus, and a smirking James handed her the bottle of liquor. She looked around the group, all of whom were looking at her with expressions ranging from terribly offended to incredibly amused, as she took a sip. “What? Just something to consider.”
“What a fascinating and compelling suggestion, Evans,” James said, reaching back for the bottle over Remus’s lap. Remus shot James a scandalized look, which James only ignored, beaming instead when Lily smirked at him and passed the bottle back.
“Fuck off, the both of you.” Emmeline scowled when most everyone else laughed, excluding Remus, and Heather and Peter, who seemed to still be arguing the merits of water versus liquor.
“Slightly defensive there, Emmeline,” Mary said as she reached for a stray bit of bread sitting on the table. “Careful,” she said around a mouthful, “someone might think there’s some truth to it.”
“I hate all of you when you’re drinking.” Emmeline sent one last menacing glare at the group before returning to her search through Remus’s rucksack, from which she withdrew another bottle. “And for that reason, I’ll not be sharing this Firewhisky with anyone!”
“Oi! That’s mine for later! There’s a reason it was left in the bag,” Remus immediately protested.
“Well, since you seem convinced you broke her heart, you should feel perfectly fine giving her your liquor.” Marlene smiled innocently at Remus, who gaped back at her helplessly. “To ease your conscience, you know.”
“You, I like. You, I will share with,” Emmeline said, curling up slightly in the armchair so that she was almost cuddling Marlene. “Good friend. The only one I’ve got.”
“Some people just can’t take a joke,” Lobelia said and smirked when she was able to wrestle the first bottle of Firewhisky from Sirius’s grasp while he was busy eyeing the two girls in the armchair. She took a swig and sent him a vindictive look when he began to whine at her. “Oh, hush, pretty boy, or else I’ll turn the conversation to your mess of a relationship with Marlene.”
“Go right ahead, love. I’m not ashamed,” Sirius said confidently as he leaned out of his seat to swipe the bottle back from her. “Besides, it was never a relationship so much as an arrangement, right Marlene?”
“Hmm?” Marlene looked around sleepily and then nodded. “Sure. No hard feelings there. It was only ever sex.”
“Oh, no.” Mary sent a concerned look Marlene’s way before glancing between Lobelia and Lily. “She’s hit her delirious had-two-sips-of-Firewhisky state already.”
“Not really the best sex ever, to be honest,” Marlene continued as if she hadn’t even heard Mary. Emmeline snorted and Remus smirked at Sirius, both of them clearly smug that Sirius, who had started the group on them, was now facing his own humiliation.
“Oi! What now?!” Sirius yelped. “That’s not… you’re not…” He cut off to glare his best mate when James began to laugh at him. “Bloody fuckin’ ha-ha, mate.”
“No need to be ashamed, Sirius,” James told him once he had forced himself to stop laughing. “Not everyone can be a good shag.”
“Good snog, though,” Marlene continued, only half-aware of the conflict arising. “Bloody good snog. Best snog I’ve ever had.”
Sirius ignored her, instead choosing to respond to James, who still looked awful chuffed about the whole thing. “At least I’ve had a shag.”
James’s grin only faltered for a fraction of a second before he plastered it back on, his hand flying to his hair as he subconsciously glanced at Lily, who seemed to have momentarily joined Peter in his struggle to convince Heather to drink some water. James shrugged and turned back to Sirius. “Better to be known as a virgin than a terrible shag.”
Peter, who suddenly tuned into the conversation when Heather drank deeply from the goblet of water, looked round with wide eyes. He looked questioningly at Lobelia, who leaned close to him and began to fill him in on what he had missed.
“Shut the fuck up,” Sirius snapped. He shot Marlene a resentful look and pointed at her. “She’s drunk, she doesn’t know what she’s saying.”
“Clearly not. She did just say you were the best snog of her life,” Lily said, shaking her head. “Can’t possibly be true.”
“Yeah, wasn’t she saying only last week that Derek had the most talented mouth?” Mary added.
Emmeline snorted and leaned forward to look between the two of them. “She wasn’t talking about Derek’s snogging, ladies.”
“Then what…?” Lily trailed off when she caught sight of James’s raised eyebrows and the look of jealous rage on Sirius’s face. “Oh. Oh, right.”
“Hey, shut up!” Marlene shrieked, but laughed anyway. “That was private!”
“Peter’s a fantastic snog!” Heather suddenly exclaimed.
All three of his mates turned to Peter with shocked expressions, but he looked just as confused. “What are you talking about, Heather? We’ve never kissed.”
“No, but I’ve heard. From. From. What’s her name? Your Hufflepuff ex-girlfriend,” Heather waved a hand in the air, dismissing the need for a name. “My idiot twin brother is always hanging round her and I heard her talking about it one day. You’re brilliant, she says.” By now, Heather was staring at Peter’s lips, but he was too shocked by this revelation to notice.
“Dorotha? But, are you sure she actually said that? Only, she never really seemed…” Peter stopped talking suddenly when he realized what he was saying.
On the other side of the table, Remus was still smirking at Sirius. “You seem mighty defensive about this, Sirius,” he said innocently. “Understanding, really, considering the reputation you’ve always fancied yourself having.”
“Not to worry, though, mate. Practice makes perfect, yeah?” James paused and cocked his head. “Course, if all the birds in school were to hear you’re a terrible shag, you likely wouldn’t get much practice.”
“Oh, hush. If he’s really such a magnificent snog, I’m sure he’ll do fine,” Lily interrupted before Remus could carry on taking the mickey. “After all, it’s the kissing which really gets a girl in the mood.”
James didn't know if he necessarily agreed with her assessment of things, but seeing as she was a girl, he shrugged it off. It was just that if he himself had such a good reputation for snogging, how was it that he was still a virgin? Perhaps he just hadn't tried hard enough.
“Thank you, Evans,” Sirius blinked, surprised that she had stuck up for him.
“Sure.” Lily gave a nonchalant shrug and then fixed a serious stare on him. “However, if that reputation is wide enough spread I suppose that the boys’ fear could come true.”
Sirius’s face dropped immediately even as James and Remus broke out in hysterical laughter. “Devious wench.”
“I wonder which of you four is the best snog.” Mary looked from Sirius seated next to her to Peter at the opposite end of the couch to Remus and James across the table. “Because apparently you're all fantastic.”
“Er… Are you making a offer MacDonald?” James wagged his eyebrows suggestively.
“Puh-lease,” Mary rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I don't think my boyfriend would be very pleased with me for it.”
“What Bellamy doesn't know, love…” Sirius winked at her and slung an arm over her shoulders. Mary shoved him off of her and Lobelia laughed. Sirius turned to her with one eyebrow cocked. “Lo…”
“What?” Lobelia looked around for a moment before her gaze came to rest on Peter, who looked uncomfortable and faintly ill all of a sudden. Her eyes widened and then she scowled, smacking Sirius quite violently in the stomach. “Sod off, you prat! I'm not kissing any of you! You're like my disgusting annoying brothers.”
“Oi! Who is disgusting?!” Peter looked offended as he peered around Heather to send Lobelia a dirty look.
“The lot of you! You forget I've been in your dormitory countless times.” Lobelia was completely unconcerned with Peter’s apparent hurt feelings, too focused on her own disgust. “Honestly, suggesting I should snog the four of you. Never will that happen. Ever.”
“I'll do it!” Heather said eagerly at Peter's expression changed from offended to distinctly uncertain.
“No,” James said firmly before Peter had a chance to reply. Now it was Heather's turn to look offended. “You’re lovely, but you're also quite drunk and none of us is going to kiss you tonight.”
“How about it, Em? One last go to figure out if you and Remus have actually been in love all along?” Lobelia suggested with a devilish smirk.
“Sod off, Lobelia,” Remus said quickly, but she only grinned at him.
“Can't be her anyway,” Mary interjected. Everyone turned to look at her, confused. “Well, if we’re actually going to do this, we should do it right. Unbiased participants only. Emmeline and Marlene have each already snogged one of the boys, so they can't participate. If we do it, it will have to be Lily.”
“What!” Lily coughed over a gulp of liquor and came up gasping for air when Remus patted her consolingly on the back. “How does that work? You're the curious one!”
“Yes, but I've got a boyfriend” Mary pointed out. “And Marlene and Emmeline can't participate because they’ve both already snogged one of the boys. Heather is too drunk, and Lobelia is too disgusted. You're the only single, unbiased one of us who is sober enough and doesn't see any of them as brothers.”
“You don't have to, Lily,” Peter said kindly from the couch.
“None of us do, actually,” Remus said.
“It's just for a bit of a laugh, guys!” Sirius insisted. “Come on.”
James, for once, remained the only silent member of his little gang. Most everyone figured he would be all for this competition happening, seeing as how it was no secret he fancied Lily Evans, even though he had been attempting to hide it all year to build a friendship with her.
Mary, noticing his silence, wondered if maybe he was feeling conflicted. She had no doubt he very much wanted to snog Lily. However, this likely was not the scenario he had ever envisioned. “Of course, we will only proceed if all five participants are willing to give consent.”
James found it odd and slightly disconcerting that Mary didn't take her eyes off of him as she spoke. He dragged a hand through his hair and gave it a thorough ruffling before he smirked and shrugged. “Well, obviously I consent.”
“I already said I'm game,” Sirius said, grinning around the group.
“I’ll state my consent as well,” Peter said with a wary glance between Lily and Heather. It was clear he would rather kiss Heather tonight if she weren’t already too drunk for it, but if his mates were all participating, he couldn't very well sit this competition out.
Remus hesitated a moment, scowled at Sirius who was loudly egging him on, turned to study Lily, and then sighed. “Fine. If Lily consents, I will as well.”
Lily frowned and looked around at the four blokes who would be potentially snogging her very soon. Her gaze fell on James, who wasn't quite meeting her eyes, but was putting on an air of great confidence. Lily found, however, that for all this bravado, he could not fully hide the air of nervousness that surrounded him. It was written in his hands, which were even more fidgety than normal and were very clearly itching to ruffle his hair, a trait she had recently come to realize was more of a nervous tic than a narcissistic tendency. It was also in his eyes, which kept darting between her lips and the fire, and the sight of his mouth, which he seemed unable to form into a full smirk. Something about his nerves was incredibly intriguing and it was that, along with alcohol she'd already consumed, which mostly influenced her decision.
“Yeah, all right.” She sighed slowly and stood up. “But we need to establish some ground rules. No groping.” Lily looked mostly at Sirius as she explained herself. “Your hands are not to touch my tits or my ass.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, but it was James who answered with a firm look for all of his mates. “That sounds more than reasonable.” The other three agreed with varying amounts of exasperation. As if they would actually get handsy with Lily Evans, especially in front of James.
“Good.” Lily gave a little appreciative nod. “We also should determine a time limit. Three seconds?”
Then it was the other girls who voiced their disdain at this. Marlene scoffed loudly while Emmeline snorted softly. Mary rolled her eyes on a sigh and Heather merely pouted, still upset that she wasn't allowed to participate.
“Lily?” Lobelia wrinkled her nose in distaste at the situation. “Trust me, I understand not wanting to prolong contact with these four, but three seconds really isn't very long, is it? How are you supposed to get a real sense for their technique in three seconds?”
“Eugh, fine. How long, then?”
“Oi, don't Muggles have that Seven Minutes of Pure, Unadulterated Bliss game?” Sirius asked.
“It's Seven Minutes in Heaven, Black, and that is out of the question,” Lily snapped.
“I know what it's called, I just think my title is more enticing, and certainly a better indication of what seven minutes snogging me is like.” Sirius winked at her even as she shot him the most disgusted look she could muster.
“Regardless, none of you will be snogging me for seven minutes,” Lily said with a scowl.
“How about 15 to 30 seconds?” Emmeline suggested. “It's long enough, I think, to get a sense for things, but not so long that you want to vomit after.”
“She won't want to vomit after any of us,” Remus said, maybe a bit defensively, to his ex-girlfriend. “I don't recall you ever wanting to vomit after kissing me.”
“Even if you're fantastic snog, Remus, I’m not sure you should be making that promise for all of your mates,” Mary said with a wink for Sirius, who pretended to look quite offended.
“I may be a disgrace to my high pureblood family, but I do recall some of my lessons. For instance, how to woo a lady,” he said, then made a great show of bending at the waist in a low bow. Still bent at the waist he took Lily's hand in his and brought it to his lips. “My lady, if you are ready to begin, it would be my great honor to start off this contest.”
Never having been on the receiving end of a proposition or bow of the sort, and despite the fact that it was extremely exaggerated and clearly a joke, Lily couldn't help but share a little nervous giggle with Mary. A moment later, embarrassed, Lily cleared her throat and smoothed her hair over her shoulders, then gave a dignified not. “All right, then.”
Not one to waste time, Sirius took Lily by the waist with both hands and yanked her body flush against his. They were of a similar height – Lily was quite tall for a girl her age, and Sirius was of an average height, which made him only a few inches taller than her. Before Lily could register what was happening, he dipped her backwards, keeping their chests flush so that he was leaning over her, and laid his mouth over hers.
He kissed with a sense of style, she thought, and grace, and no small amount of confidence. His mouth moved over hers in such a way that, it seemed to her, he had no interest in anything but winning a stupid contest between his friends, which was probably true. Sirius Black definitely did not fancy her, but Lily had to admit she was a bit disappointed at the distant way he kissed her. She had not expected emotion from his kiss, but at least the feeling that he was kissing her, and not just an available set of lips.
When the 30 seconds was up, as indicated by an announcement from Lobelia, who stood by with James’s pocket watch in hand, Sirius brought Lily upright and released her immediately, taking several steps back. Everyone stared at Lily, who looked around in some confusion. “What?”
“I think we’re all waiting for your verdict,” Mary told her.
Lily shrugged. “I can't say yet. I don't know that it would be fair to rate a kiss on a scale when I’ve only had one of the four. What if I gave him the highest possible score on the scale and each bloke upped the ante?”
“You're overthinking it, Lily.” Marlene said with a groan, then sighed when Lily remained resolute. “Fine, if you won’t rate them, you've at least got to come up with one word to describe each boy’s technique.”
“Fine,” Lily said, then turned to study Sirius, who stood impatiently waiting for her verdict. “Sirius is… stylish.”
“Stylish?” Sirius said with a contemplative frown, then shrugged. “I was hoping for mind-blowing or maybe orgasmic, but I'll take stylish. Anytime you want another go, let me know, love, and I'll make myself useful to you.”
James scowled at him and looked for a moment as if he was prepared to lunge and start a fight, but Lily laughed and batted Sirius’s hand away when he reached out to bring to her hand to his lips again.
“All right, who's up next?” Marlene said, looking around the group eagerly. Her eyes flashed wickedly when her gaze fell on James. “Potter, maybe?”
“Actually,” Mary interrupted before James had a chance to do more than ruffle his hair. “I think James should go last.”
“Ah, yes,” said Lobelia eagerly. “So Lily doesn't vomit before she gets the chance to finish making the rounds.”
James glared at her, but Lobelia just wiggled the tips of the fingers of her right hand at him with a sly grin while the rest of the blokes, turncoats all, laughed at his obvious offense
“Sure, something like that,” Mary said blandly, but didn't take her eyes off Lily, whose face was carefully blank. James noticed the look that passed between the two girls and then they both looked at him. His hand jumped to his hair and he found himself grinning when Lily turned away from him with a slight pink tinge to her cheeks.
“How about Peter next,” Lobelia suggested, giving Peter a little shove over the arm of the couch. “Then Remus, and we can end with James, as Mary insists.”
“All right,” Remus said, reaching out to steal his last bottle of Firewhisky from Emmeline, who glared at him when he took a long gulp and stepped away from her so she couldn't reach the bottle.
James looked around, locked eyes with Lily, and shrugged in an attempt to look unaffected. He was pretty sure that the way he mussed his hair gave away his nerves, though. “Right, sure. I'll go last. Up you are, Pete.”
When Peter stood and glanced around uncomfortably, Sirius laughed and sprawled himself out on the couch, jostling Heather in the process. Unapologetic, he grinned when Lobelia smacked him upside the head and Heather grumbled unhappily. “Don't be afraid to kiss the pretty girl, Pete.”
Peter glared at Sirius and moved around the table to stand in front of Lily. “Hello.”
“Hello, Peter,” Lily said kindly, looking nearly as awkward as he did when he glanced at Heather on the couch. She lowered her voice and leaned in close. “Don't worry. I don't think she really knows what's going on anymore. She won't be upset, it doesn't even mean a thing.”
“Right.” Peter smiled at Lily, and their eyes were level. “Thanks, Lily.”
He put his hands lightly on her waist, but left a great deal of space between their bodies. Lily put her hands on his shoulders; she ignored the fact that she could hear the other boys – mostly Sirius and Remus – making fun of their stance. Peter looked at them over his shoulder, then turned back to her, grimaced, and pressed his mouth to hers.
It was soft, gentle, and sweet. Just like Peter, Lily thought. It was quite pleasant but nothing to brag about, but then, Peter didn't actually want to be doing this – he was only doing it because his mates had goaded him into it. Lily could imagine that the kiss would be much more impressive if he actually tried.
As it was, he ended the kiss before Lobelia announced that it had been 30 seconds. Sirius, Lobelia, Remus, Marlene, and Emmeline all called foul, but Peter glared at all of them. “It wasn't supposed to be thirty seconds, it was fifteen to thirty seconds. I kissed her for fifteen seconds.”
“On the dot,” Lobelia grumbled.
“To be fair,” Mary said, “Emmeline did say fifteen to thirty seconds.”
“Dammit, Peter, this is a competition,” Remus said. Lily blinked, surprised at the drunken slur to his words, but no one else seem to particularly concerned as an argument broke out.
Lily didn't mind the argument – it gave her time to think about how she would describe Peter’s kiss. Her first thought was nice but she had a feeling that the other boys, and Lobelia, would tease him mercilessly for that and Lily quite liked Peter; she definitely didn't want to give anyone a reason to make fun of him.
“I believe it's time for Lily’s one word summary,” James suddenly announced loudly over the others’ slightly intoxicated bickering. Lily looked at him while everyone else looked at her – except for Heather, who had, by this time, passed out.
“Pleasant,” Lily said, forcing her gaze to return to Peter, who was flushed – with anger at the others, not embarrassment, she thought.
“Well, it's no stylish, but you can get by on pleasant,” Sirius said, clapping Peter on the shoulder.
“I'll show you what a competitive kiss looks like,” Remus said and then, before Lily could steel herself properly, he yanked her body to his, slid his hands up to her face, and took her mouth with his.
The first thing that registered for her was the overwhelming taste of Firewhisky, which almost choked her. She liked the taste of the stuff when she was expecting it, but it was a bit much when she was unprepared, much like the intensity of a kiss from a bloke she had long thought of as a mild-mannered mate. She was beginning to regret agreeing to this competition. She jumped a bit when his teeth grazed her bottom lip as he pulled away at Lobelia’s amused announcement.
“How was that for competitive!” he shouted.
Only then did Lily realize that his eyes were shadowed, his pupils darker and larger than normal, his skin paler. It all clicked for her suddenly. The reason the boys had set up camp to dine in the common room as opposed to make the trek all the way down to the Great Hall, why Remus had been so touchy about Emmeline, a subject he usually didn't care that much about, why his kiss was so forceful and not at all what she expected of him. The full moon was just a night away.
“Very competitive,” Lily said, patting him on the arm as he grinned drunkenly at his friends.
James rolled his eyes in an attempt to not look incredibly jealous while Sirius laughed appreciatively, and Peter scowled.
“Is competitive your word?” Mary asked
Lily laughed and shook her head, grinning wickedly at Remus. “No, Remus is positively primal.”
Lobelia and the boys all laughed at that – Remus a bit wildly, while Mary, Emmeline, and Marlene all looked on, a bit confused. Mary made a note on parchment and Peter quirked an eyebrow at that.
“Are you taking notes?” he asked.
“People are going to be very curious about this little experiment,” Mary explained. “One word will go a long way.”
“Hey, we didn't agree to that,” Lily said, not entirely sure that she wanted the entire school to know that she had allowed all four of these boys to kiss her, in one night, no less.
“Oh, just be quiet and kiss this one,” Marlene said, planting a foot in the small of James’s back and giving him a gentle shove towards Lily.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” James said quietly as Remus stepped aside. “We don't have to go through with it if you don't want to.”
“Backing down, Potter? Don't want to kiss me after all?” Lily asked. James rolled his eyes at that. He suspected that she was well aware of just how badly he wanted to kiss her. They were friends, sure, but James knew how bad he was at hiding his feelings; he always had been.
“I'm just giving you the option to change your mind.”
Lily rolled her eyes. “Just kiss me, Potter.”
Never needing to be told twice, James stepped up to her, wrapped his left arm around her waist to draw her close, and laid his right hand lightly on her face. He moved in slowly, maintaining eye contact and marveling at the forest of her eyes for as long as possible. It wasn't until several seconds after their lips met that either of them managed to close their eyes.
He kissed her soft and slow, taking his time with her as if he thought he would never get another chance. It was as if he were taking her all in, memorizing every detail of her. Lily found herself doing the same with him.
The taste of Firewhisky was on his lips, but after Remus, it was more expected and less overwhelming. She focused instead on the hum of energy that came out of him and rippled straight through her veins, on the warmth that he exuded and produced in her and on the odd softness of his Quidditch-calloused fingertips on her face. He tilted his head and she threaded both of her hands in his hair. A small sound of contentment left her as she lost herself for a moment, until a chip hit her in the side of the head.
They broke apart instantly and both became aware of the boys’ boisterous laughter and the giggles of the girls around them. Lily took several hurried steps back from James, hating the fact that she could feel her cheeks heating and trying to ignore the way that she was breathing a bit more heavily than normal.
“Well, that was nearly a full minute,” Lobelia said, trying for Lily's sake, and maybe James’s, to stifle her laughter.
“What?” Lily said before she could stop herself. If she had been asked, she would have guessed that they had only been kissing for a few seconds. James looked likewise surprised, and pleased with himself, as he accepted his pocket watch back from Lobelia.
“Have you got the word to describe James?” Marlene asked kindly, laughter still evident in her voice.
Lily couldn't meet James’s eyes as he watched her, waiting eagerly. Instead she focused on the small burn in the rug at her feet – probably caused by the boys one night long ago, if she had to guess.
“Electric,” she answered honestly after an embarrassed pause.
“I move to have James disqualified seeing as how he clearly cheated, kissing her for twice the maximum allowed limit,” Sirius said.
“Hey, Lo never told us time was up,” James said and Lily agreed, frowning when the group around them broke out in quiet giggles again.
“Sorry, loves, but she did announce that your time was up,” Emmeline pointed out. “Several times. You were both, er – distracted.”
James looked at Lily, who looked at him. They both saw that neither of them had even been aware that their friends were still there until the food had been thrown.
“Disqualified!”
“Sore loser,” Marlene said.
“You're just assuming that James won,” Remus pointed out. “This was a competition, which must be judged. By Lily, who has to actually declare a victor.”
“Isn't it obvious that James won?” Emmeline said.
“No!”
“Lily?” Mary said softly. “The verdict is…?”
“The verdict is that this was a stupid idea and I regret agreeing to my part in it since it's caused all of you to behave like children.” Lily stalked away from the group, which was finally, mercifully silent. At the foot of the stairs, she paused and turned to find everyone but Heather, who was still asleep on the sofa, looking at her. She locked eyes with James and couldn't stop the smile that tugged at her lips at the sight at his messy hair and the newfound knowledge that it was surprisingly, gloriously, soft. “But the winner is Potter.”
Turning away from his wide grin, she ran up the stairs to her dormitory, Potter’s energy still thrumming in her veins.
Incase you can’t read my crap hand writing. I’ve been reading a lot of X-Men comics lately, and I keep having this thought of Jily cosplaying Jean and Scott. So here’s my contribution for jilyshipweek.
Summary: “I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly”
Pairing: James Potter x Lily Evans
Word Count: 754
also on AO3
for Jily ship week
James’ foot caught on the table, and that was when he knew he was screwed.
He was sent sprawling, hitting his chin hard on the carpeted floor of the library. His glasses flew from his face and smacked against a bookshelf, landing pitifully on the ground in two pieces. His teeth very nearly snapped down on his tongue, which would surely have bitten off the end, but he moved it away in time.
Worst of all, James’ bag fell open and everything inside was sent flying.
Which meant the library was now littered with condoms.
It was silent for a moment as he cringed, carefully pulling himself to his feet after he grabbed the broken remains of his glasses. (He would get Remus to help tape them later.) James rubbed at his chin and slipped the strap of his bag off of his shoulder, beginning to shove books and the silver-wrapped condoms into the bag as quickly as he could.
Then he heard giggling.
James’ head shot up, and he glanced around, face paling when he caught sight of Lily Evans sitting at the table he had just tripped over. Her eyebrows were raised as she laughed quietly, and her eyes were trained on the condoms that were covering the table. James cursed under his breath.
“Wow, Potter, way to look like an idiot in front of the most gorgeous girl in this entire fucking school,” he berated himself, hurrying even more to shove his things into his bag. Once the last book was inside, he stood up, slinging his bag back over his shoulder and letting it hang forward to scoop more condoms into it from the table.
“Sorry about that, Evans” he said aloud, smiling brightly at Lily as if he wasn’t panicking inside. Her eyes moved from the small foil packages to his face, and she stared at him a little strangely. “I swear, they aren’t mine.”
Lily pursed her pink-painted lips, and James tried not to notice the slight blush that tinted her freckled cheeks. “Holding them for a friend, Potter?” she asked, mouth quirking up at the corner. “Or did Black decide to pay you back for letting him take the flack for setting off the sprinklers in the dining hall last week?”
“Actually, yes, in a manner of speaking, I am holding them for a friend,” he shrugged in response, not processing all of her question right away. “And the sprinklers prank was actually Moo- wait a second, how did you know it was me?”
Lily shrugged, eyes flitting between the condoms that were in James’ hand and his face. “Lucky guess,” she said. “What do you mean ‘in a manner of speaking?’”
It was James’ turn to turn red. He shrugged, dropping the last of them into his bag and zipping it up. “I was in health services yesterday, and there was a bowl of them just sitting there for free, and I know that none of the others ever has any so... I guess I figured I’d help them out,” he admitted, sliding his arm through the second strap and adjusting his bag on his back.
Lily smiled a little, eyes softening. “The others?”
“Yeah, you know, Sirius and Remus and Peter,” he explained, aware of how strange it felt to refer to them in a way that didn’t include the nicknames they had been using since their first year at this school. “Maybe even Regulus, if he actually came to me or Padfoot about anything like that.”
Something about the way Lily was staring at him had changed. It was less judgmental and amused, more... something else. “I wasn’t particularly under the impression that Remus or Peter would be in need of condoms,” she smirked.
James grinned wolfishly, thinking of all the times Peter had disappeared from the bar with someone on his arm or he had been kicked out of the dorm by Remus and Sirius. “Oh, trust me,” he said at last, “they are.”
Lily shook her head, closing the book she was reading and putting it into her bag. “You and your friends are crazy,” she said decisively as she stood up. “But you’re a good guy, James Potter.”
He couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face as he ran a hand through his already messy hair. “I try to be,” he said sincerely. “Need someone to walk you to class, Evans?”
Lily looked thoughtful for a moment before she nodded. “Alright,” she said, rounding the table. “I’d like that.”
My contribution to @hpshipweeks. This is the long-awaited part 2 to my fake dating AU found here. I don’t think you need to read it to understand what’s going on (but you should read it anyway =P).
Lily decided the hardest part of fake-dating James Potter was dealing with how clingy he was.
“You do realize we don’t have to spend every second of the day together, right?” Lily huffed as she left bathroom only to find James diligently waiting for her. It was a blessing he hadn’t followed her in.
“Yeah, but you’re my girlfriend now,” he said loudly, causing quite a commotion among the third years nearby. He had gotten into the habit of announcing to everyone, everywhere, all the time that he was dating Lily. That, combined with the fact that he wouldn’t leave her alone, was almost enough to come clean and take a failing grade. Almost.
“If we were—,” she paused, pulling James close to her so no one could overhear. “If we were really dating, I would have dumped you already,” she hissed.
“Lily, darling,” James whispered, attempting to slide her backpack off her shoulder. She glared at him so he settled for wrapping an arm around her instead. “I’m pretty sure that’s why we’re not actually dating.”
She absolutely did not react to his breath on her ear. And even if she did, it was because it tickled.
“I’m just saying.” She adjusted her position so she was comfortably leaning against James. He smelled like leather and spice and James. “No one will doubt our love even if we don’t spend all our free time together.”
“You’re forgetting one key thing, though. I’m James Potter. I spend all my time with the people I care about,” he said, staring straight at her. Lily’s heart flipped at his earnestness which was… not good. She knew he was only saying that because there were people around; he didn’t mean he actually cared about her.
As though they timed it—and, really, Lily wouldn’t put it past them to have done so—Sirius came bounding out from nowhere and bellowed, “Prongs! There are you! Been looking all over for you.”
“You saw him 10 minutes ago,” Lily said flatly.
“Far too long, Evans,” Sirius replied. “I thought he died.”
“Nah, I was just waiting for Lily,” James replied, squeezing her shoulder when he said her name. “I think she was trying to give me the slip but it didn’t work.”
“Clearly,” Lily muttered.
“That’s not very nice,” Sirius said. “You should kiss and make up.”
“Shut up, Padfoot,” James mumbled as his face turned a light shade of pink. Sirius, Remus, and Peter all knew about their charade because apparently James was incapable of keeping anything from them. Instead of it being helpful, though, they spent a lot of time trying to get James and Lily to kiss. Lily honestly wouldn’t even mind giving him a small peck or two in public but for whatever reason, James would always get awkward and annoyed and vehemently turn down the idea.
“Prongs!” Remus was walking toward them excitedly. “Where have you been?”
Lily waited patiently as they had pretty much the same conversation with Remus. She would have thought the marauders would be more creative.
By the time Peter came bursting out, crying at James’ feet at the thought of his dead friend, Lily was very much done with the four boys.
“You need to get lives,” Lily said.
“Admit it, Evans,” James said with a wink. “You love me.”
--
“Lily, dear, can you help me with something?”
Lily glanced up from her Runes book to see her very attractive, very fake boyfriend smiling sweetly at her. She managed to snag the couch in front of the fireplace and had adamantly refused to get up ever since.
“What’s up, babe?”
James eyes twinkled in amusement but he didn’t say anything about her term of endearment. “I’m working through the detention slips and I am lost.”
Lily made room and he plopped himself next to her, his legs brushing up against her. “What’s up,” she repeated.
“I can’t understand half of what these say. I thought I had bad handwriting but Merlin’s balls, some of these guys are atrocious.”
“Here,” she said, holding out her hand. “Let me see them.”
She glanced down at the slips and they were, in fact, a mess. She remembered complaining to him last time about it and he teased her, saying she needed to work on her reading comprehension skills.
“Who needs help with their reading now?” she asked smugly.
“Yes, yes,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You were right, I was wrong. Never again will I doubt you. Now, can you help me or not?”
“I can try,” she said, “but I think we may need to have a meeting where we go over handwriting basics.”
“It’s a miracle these people lasted this long at Hogwarts, let alone became prefects. How can the professors read their work?”
“Magic,” Lily replied, wiggling her eyebrows.
James laughed and nudged her shoulder.
“You’re such a dork,” he said fondly.
“Hark who’s talking.”
It was nice, hanging out with James and joking with him. The whole dating fiasco had made things a bit weird between the two, neither knowing exactly how they should act, but they were friends. It didn’t have to be complicated or awkward. She liked spending time with him and genuinely enjoyed being with him, no matter how annoying he was. The fireplace crackled welcomingly at them, filling Lily with warmth as she rested her head on his shoulder.
--
Lily was working on a charms essay with Mary in the common room, enjoying her free time away from James. He asked if she wanted to watch their quidditch practice but, tempted as she was to accept, she was falling behind on all her work. She had no idea how James managed to get anything done between being Head Boy and quidditch captain and whatever the hell he and his friends got up to after curfew.
They were nearly done with their papers when Marlene sagged into the chair next to Lily and said, “James says you guys haven’t kissed yet.”
Lily slowly put her quill down as she tried to think of a proper response. All she said was, “what,” which set Mary off into a fit of giggles.
Lily loved her friends. Adored them. And she would absolutely trust them with her life if it came down to it. But they were some of the biggest gossips she knew and she didn’t feel comfortable telling them her relationship with James was a sham. There was no way they’d be able to keep shut about something like that.
“We were talking about you after practice and he said you haven’t kissed. How is that even possible?”
“He was just putting you on,” Lily said breezily. Both girls were staring at her curiously and Lily could feel her cheeks getting warm. Of course her friends would be confused; Lily was not the kind of person who would date someone who looked like James and not kiss him. If they were really dating, she would want to spend all their alone time attached to his face. He was entirely too snoggable and they all knew it.
“It didn’t sound like it,” Marlene finally said once she realized Lily wasn’t going to offer anything else. “He got all awkward and changed the subject immediately afterward.”
“He’s just an awkward person,” Lily said, rolling her eyes and sounding fonder than she meant to. “And surprisingly prudish when it comes to that stuff.”
Lily honestly had no idea what to think. She knew James had a weird thing about kissing her but she didn’t think he’d go so far as to deny it ever happened. She couldn’t help but be insulted that he was so repulsed by the idea of kissing her, he couldn’t even pretend they did.
“There he is,” Mary said, pointing to the portrait hole James just entered through. “Why don’t you prove he was just joking?”
“I don’t have to prove anything,” Lily said. Her face must have been as red as her hair by this point. “If you want to think we’ve never kissed, fine. It doesn’t matter to me.”
“Oh, come on. Just a peck?” Marlene asked.
“Why do you even want to see us kiss? Don’t most people abhor PDA?”
“Because,” Mary said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, “you and James are a legendary couple and if you have any shot at lasting, you need to snog that boy silly.”
His whole face lit up and Lily couldn’t help but smile as he waltzed over.
“Miss me, Evans?” he asked with a smirk.
“Hardly. I finally managed to get some work done.”
“It’s not my fault I’m so distracting.”
“That’s actually what we were talking about,” Marlene cut in. “You said you guys never kissed but Lily insists you did. So which is it?”
James looked at Lily in panic and she felt a twinge of pity for the bespectacled boy. She had no idea what was wrong with him but he clearly had some sort of hang up with kissing her and she was only making it worse.
“I—er,” James stuttered.
“Like I said,” Lily interrupted, standing up and stretching, “he was just joking and you were stupid enough to believe him. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to spend some quality time with my boyfriend.”
“Hey, I’m not the stupid one. You’re the one not kissing your hot boyfriend.”
Lily groaned. She really didn’t want word to get out that James and Lily hadn’t even kissed yet. Literally no one would believe they were dating if they thought they weren’t kissing. “Just a quick kiss,” she clarified with her friends.
“Yeah, definitely no tongue,” Mary said.
“Is that okay, James,” Lily asked. She didn’t want him to feel like she was pressuring him.
He nodded quickly and pulled her close to him. He let his lips touch hers briefly and then pulled away.
And—okay, Lily had never really given much thought into what kissing James Potter would be like but if she had, she wouldn’t have guessed it would be like that. She heard countless stories of his excellent snogging prowess, had to endure listening to girls go on and on about how good he was with his tongue and his hands and his lips. She knew they specifically asked for a small kiss but the James Potter she heard of would have been able to make her swoon regardless. Instead, she just felt very dejected.
“Satisfied,” James asked Marlene and Mary. The girls just shrugged so Lily rolled her eyes and dragged James over to a quieter corner in the room.
She rested her head on his shoulder and he immediately responded by putting an arm around her waist. They were both tactile people and Lily hoped they could continue their casual affection after they fake break up; James was very cuddly.
“I’m sorry,” James said quietly. Lily craned her neck to look up at his sheepish, red face.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know you didn’t want to do that. I didn’t mean to put you in that situation.”
“It’s fine,” he said with a smile that seemed too forced for Lily’s liking. “I could think of worse things than kissing a pretty girl.”
Lily needed to get better at controlling the things that came out of her mouth because the next thing she knew she was saying, “have you ever actually kissed someone before?” and she immediately wanted to take it back.
“What? Of course I’ve kissed people before. Who do you think you’re talking to?”
“I don’t know,” Lily said. “I figured it was either that or you just really suck at snogging.”
“Excuse me?”
“You have to admit that was a pretty awful kiss. And it certainly wasn’t my fault.”
“I’m an excellent kisser. I can give you references if you really want.”
“I don’t need references, I experienced it myself and it sucked.”
“You wouldn’t be able to handle a real kiss from me.”
“I wouldn’t want to after that poor performance.”
She really should have seen it coming, considering she was practically teasing it out of him, but suddenly his lips were on hers once more and everything was just James. His scent, his taste, his touch. Lily was breathing him in, soaking him up, drowning in him and she never wanted it to stop.
When they finally pulled apart, she was surprised to find herself straddled on top of him, both hands up his shirt. He looked completely wrecked—his hair was somehow even messier than normal, his glasses were practically falling off his face, and his eyes were blown out and dazed—and she felt a rush of pride that she made him look like that.
“Told—” James cleared his throat. “Told you you couldn’t handle it,” he said after they spent a good minute just staring at each other.
“Well, it was better, at the very least,” she said, keeping her voice steady. “I should probably get to bed, though. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She grabbed her bag and dashed to her room. Upon finding it empty, she sunk to the floor and hung her head in her knees.
Lily was slowly beginning to realize the worst part about fake-dating James Potter was that it wasn’t real.
