#jintrants

[touaa]

[touaa]

安照氣氛調整自己的演繹，是常識吧。 想自保不受傷害，只需要放一點心機包裝自己，多了幾層隔膜，便行了。

[touaa]

I fell in love ;_______;

it hurts, I really like the guy and I think he likes me, but not sure it’s on the romantic spectrum or friendship spectrum

he’s the type who’s really quiet and enjoys his time alone... I’m trying really hard to get closer to him and I’m trying to message him and poke him but so far it’s not very encouraging for me to continue

I don’t have much time left I’m heading back to UK in a month’s time so.... I did something that I would never, ever do today. I messaged him. For those who know me, I simply do NOT start a conversation with someone else unless it’s in order to do something that I need to do. I tried so hard. So. Hard. It’s like I talk a a lot and he just replies me a line or two

I’m hoping that it’s just he’s too busy to reply to me or its one of those times where he needs to be on his own >  <;; I really don’t want to be a bother but I’m very scared and I want to grasp all the opportunities that I can get

I’m confused, and I’m scared. I’m so scared of falling in love because I’m scared of failing. I don’t want to put all my efforts into something that I’m just going to lose. I want to stop thinking about him but no, I can’t. I’m trash. T__________________T

I tried to suppress it, I tried to suppress a lot of my feelings so I can tell myself no its alright you don’t need him you are not in love with him but no its not working its not and im just

idek if i should be mad at myself or what i dont know what to feel at all tbh

love is so foreign to me to the extent that im terrified at that strong emotion im actually feeling

I need to breathe, and I need to chill.

On the other hand I’m going to japan like, the day after tmr so hopefully that can clear my mind for a bit

wheezes

[jintooc]

政治不正確的人真的令我很不安 今天第一天上班即病嘩嘩嘩 頭很痛如果幾天不上線不是太累不是太病就是看著dashboard腦殘了

[jintooc]

「近朱者赤，近墨者黑。」雖然年紀上的差距不大，但看著一些比我年紀還要小的同好交了損友而學壞，心真的有點痛。他人如何在世上生存，我有什麼權利去干預呢？上天給我一顆充滿關懷的心（雖然這樣說有點誇張），我卻把自己的心思放在沒藥可救的人身上。近日不但是網上，現實中也是如此。也許這又是「旁觀者清，當局者迷」的例子吧。。。（苦笑中

看來，現在能怪的，只能怪自己為甚麼要這麼愚蠢，竟然會相信事情會有好轉的一天吧。

[jintooc]

Are we doing the shitposting thing? I’m in.

I’m very tired. I’m very tired of dealing with a ton of things -- irl, online in general, and on here. One has limits that they can tolerate things, and I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one who can’t tolerate much anymore.

Seeing everyone’s reactions towards recent events has been very frustrating and it’s been putting quite an emotional burden on myself. Frankly speaking, if it weren’t for my friends still being on here, I would have left apres long ago.

I thought things would improve, but it just spiraled downwards. I got my hopes up for nothing and I’m blaming myself for actually thinking that things are going to work out.

Please stop being ridiculous. My head hurts.

[jintooc]

每一個人都是自己的故事中的主角；若要令自己活得多姿多彩便要進入他人的世界。因在他人的世界裏面自己再不是主角而放棄交流的話，可以說是自保的行為－但這是太害怕受到傷害的行為，還是因為眼光太狹窄，不能接受自己不再是主角的行為呢？這個問題某程度上只有自己才能回答，但有時候真的是旁觀者清當局者迷。各位不要再這麼兒戲，發什麼孩子脾氣好嗎。我真的很累。

[touaa]

自問中文真的很差 過來英國以後基本上除了每一晚跟朋友說廣東話以外玩全不會用中文 剛才跟師姐在facebook上談話 看見自己的大學是被看成如此差的我真的不知道應該怎麼想 自己明明是可以讀城大的 卻偏偏要過來英國讀什麼排名還比城大後的大學 我幹嘛了。真的後悔了。

可是再想深一層。 自己廢是無藥可救的。收聲啦你。

EDIT: 剛剛上網看了其他排名更加高的大學 很多都是沒有我讀的那一科 而且我那以科的頭三間大學跟我的大學的評分差不多 自卑敢下降了 可是自己還是對自己的各方面緊緊於懷 都是那一句 人廢沒藥醫