A part of me still feels like I want to die. I'm always running away but I'm running out of places to go where no memories is held.

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A part of me still feels like I want to die. I'm always running away but I'm running out of places to go where no memories is held.
I am so unlucky xD no matter what I do lol.
Everyone an idiot so if they can fuck off that be greeeeaaaattt.
It gets tiring to be happy and keep myself happy.
Its hard to keep my mind focus in the sense that this is reality. Like...time is nonexisting to me unless its that whole I gotta attend class/appointment thing. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm in a daze and nothing is real. The way my mind perceive this timeline. The way I view everything...compared to logical viewpoint. Two different things. What does this mean? I'm so unusual to myself I swear.
Sometimes when I sleep in middle of the day, my body feels like it trying to do that body projection thing.