-- inbox / @hydrangeaguard ( from the old blog omg )
“Joey... would... would your mom have liked me?” Umeko’s tone quiet in the still of the night. Her head on his heart to just feel him, and just hear every little part of Joey. Maybe she shouldn’t ask, but she wanted him to talk about her. He spoke with so much warmth and love whenever she was brought up. Then again Ume might just be selfish for asking such a personal question.
“Mom” always stirred something within Joey that he hadn’t been able to name quite yet. It was a heavy, lingering thing, layered in grief and longing and wrapped so tightly in his chest that it felt like a knot. A year ago, it had the power to break that dam in him immediately. Now, almost 2 years later, it created wave and cracks, but not enough break him so fast. Despite that, the answer came without thought--true and resolute.
“Without a doubt.” He whispered softly into the tresses of her hair. His arms around her got a little tighter, though not much, like he was trying to have Ume closer. Like he could shed this pain with her presence and send her every joyous moment he had with his mother. “Ume, she would have adored you.”
Joey had imagined it before. Many a nights he spent replaying memories in his mind and creating memories he wished he could have made with her. Umeko was no stranger in his wishes. In his daydreams. In the thoughts he shared with his mother. Lydia knew her very well, he’d guess.
“Mom would have loved the good in you. She always said it was important to find that goodness in ourselves and in others, and I know she would have seen yours in record time. She would have loved how earnest you are. How giving and humble your heart is. How you get excited about things you love, whether they’re big or small. And then, she would have gotten excited with you.” There was something about happiness that drew her in.
Lydia thrived off smiles, wanted to share in the glow of them. He could see hers now: strong enough to touch her eyes, bright enough to give away her spark. His eyes closed as he fell into the memories again, both of the past and of his dreams. He could see his mother at the stove, trying to show Ume the latest recipe she’d gotten hooked on. The two of them at the coffee table as his mother taught her how to play blackjack. Umeko on the couch with her as they shared stories of home. Joey could so easily insert Ume into spots in his life with his mother, and though they were unreachable, he latched onto them anyway. She belonged there and he wished he could give it to her. To have his favorite people meet... it shouldn’t have been a dream.
“Your sweetness, your strength, your tenacity, your smile, your pout.” He sighed, smiling. “All of it, she would have loved.”
A familiar burning sensation came to his eyes, the cracks in the dam lengthening. He pressed his face into her hair.
“Mom would have called you brilliant. And she’d have been right. She would have loved that light in you.”
