Daniel could see the tears, and it makes his heart twist. The dweller deep inside his soul just soaked in the torment it brought him, and edged him to go further. To make it that Cass would never be able to stand the sight of him.
“I am sick of you. All you do is act like an idiot, and fuck around with your little friends. It’s easy to have that much fun when you’re brainless, I guess. You’re weird, so fucking weird that even I can’t even understand you at times,” Daniel stopped to lick at his chapped, bitten lips. Cass was all those things; weird and absolutely idiotic in his actions.
Daniel never once hated that about him. It made him crack out of his own cynical shell at times. He was envious of how easily Cass seemed to attract others while all he did was scare people away. Idiotic wasn’t the best word, reckless may be it; able to be so confident in the universe not screwing you over like it did Daniel.
But this was for the best. It was always for the best, wasn’t it?
“What were you even expecting with us in the first place? I’m just a fuck up, and I’m going to be in the dirt in a year or two. No soul… nothing at all.”
Cass has heard those things before, from the mouths of social workers and foster parents and other kids. He’s long since steeled himself against such insults in order to live as freely as possible with friends that want him around, but from Daniel, that steel turns into chalk, crumbling easily with each insult. He tries to remind himself that it’s no different from the things he’s heard in the past, but it hurts more than it has in a really long time.
“Do you—” Cass shakes his head, almost in disbelief. At Daniel. At himself. He really is an idiot for staying where he isn’t wanted, when it would be much easier to turn and run, like always. “You seriously think I befriended you expecting something? Wanting something?” Maybe if he had, this would be easier to accept.
“I just wanted to be friends... I didn’t expect to fall in love with you, Daniel.” It’s the first time he’s ever said it aloud, although Cass has long known it. He’s spent many a night turning the words over in his head, thinking the truth of them would dissipate if he said them aloud. Turns out they feel just as true, just as real, when said out in the open.
“You’re going to die. And I know that, but you’re still here now, y’know? Why is it so hard for you to... to just understand that that doesn’t change anything?”
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