Energy: My slow, but sure, path to opening up.
I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about everything. Over the years, I’ve become reclusively private about my life and the details I share with others, but I guess this notion is no longer true because this blog now exists and I intend to share my life with you. I kept a private blog for about eight years—and it was absolutely darling. There is nothing like pouring your heart out in its raw glory; free of judgment and free of resentment. I don’t believe there is a soul in the world who we can pour ourselves into wholly. I suppose that would be equivalent to finding someone who loves you unconditionally—and we all know that love from flesh is very conditional, and that’s not to be pessimistic, I’m sure there are some relationships that come very close. Personally speaking, I’ve never seen it; maybe that’s why people have deep relationships with their higher power, but what I do I know?
My mission for the month of February is to be more disciplined. This means having a better diet, going to sleep earlier, and showing up for work on time. I didn’t include art because I breathe, eat and sleep music. It’s been a bit challenging, but so far, so good. My diet has been shot to hell since the New Year, and since I’m a prior fatty—it doesn’t matter if I gain three or thirteen pounds—I get paranoid when I gain weight. My anxiety kicks in and I become completely apprehensive with the fear that I’ll never lose the weight again, despite being naturally active. I lost six pounds this week and I’m slowly beginning to feel like myself again. I’m on top of my tasks at work and my energy levels are much better now that I’m going to bed a little earlier. I’ve been writing for my new project for the past four months, and despite my demanding day schedule, the creative bug only likes to visit me late at night. Those late nights put a great taxing on my work and personal life. Although I love the creative process, I realize that overall balance is equally important when trying to lead a healthy life. I’ve been reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert—great book, by the way—she mentions the creative process as its’ own entity, and that’s why we have moments where we feel incredibly genius, and at other times, creatively inadequate. It’s not us doing the creating; it’s the entity of creativity peeking through at certain times and seasons. In my case, this beautiful little entity likes to pop up when I should be sleeping. I hope I don’t miss out on writing any good songs this month because I’m usually in bed pretty early.
I came across an evolutionary article about science fiction author, Octavia Butler. Octavia wrote out a list of things that she had set out to accomplish, and ironically, she accomplished everything she had written—and I don’t mean simple things. This list consisted of being a bestselling author, and reaching millions of people through her work. I was floored and inspired at the same time. It made me think of the law of attraction and how people attract things by the energy they send. I decided to give it a try for myself, so I told myself that I was going to lead positive thoughts, with the hope that positive things would manifest. Monday was the first day I put this in action. Ironically, I decided to start reading Big Magic—and if you know of Elizabeth Gilbert’s work, you’d know that she’s all about empowering, so that really put me in a positive head space. I avoided negative thinking, and let me tell you, doors instantly started opening up. It was the best Monday of my life. I felt received in so many areas, down to the interactions with the barista at Starbucks. Life felt good because I felt good about life. I also got a really cool opportunity that I can’t reveal just yet, and this opportunity in particular has been a lifelong dream of mines. I know this method of positive thinking sounds common to some, but when you live a conventional life that requires paying bills and maintaining relationships, it’s not always so easy to have a smile on your face. It’s Friday and the “big magic” has simmered a bit, but when I consciously remember to think positive, I do, and it never lets me down. This is not to say that everything you want manifested will come your way. If life was that easy, there would be no purpose. All I’m saying is that having positive mind frame helps manifest positive things in your life. People pick up on energy, so make sure yours is infectious.
