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i am actually going to die why does my body not know the difference between starting a new job and being hunted for sport

#personal #job log #i don't wannaaaaaa i want to stay home and blog and pet my dog and watch depressing stand-up

i was called for a job interview today so i have to walk there because nobody can give me a lift and my dumb ass doesn't drive and it's 840383839 degrees outside AND! i woke up to the devastating appearance of #mymenstrualcycle. sure

#personal #job log #it's fine it's all perfectly fine and i don't care at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#might i add all of this is for a 6-month full-time with a whopping €600 as monthly pay :)

anyway i might have finally found a job and i am stressing the fuck out about it like objectively it seems like it'll maybe be okay potentially but in practice i am so tireddddd of starting new jobs with new people and new skills to acquire and new pros and cons my ass is averseeee to changes i wish i could get paid to be your annoying mutual

#personal #job log #it all happened so fast to like i went in for an interview today thinking nothing of it #and a few hours later they were like yk what. your ass is hired #and i was like ok wait a damn minute. what #i mean sure i'm happy but i am also devastated. myduality

so guess who is still jobless actually

#personal #job log #back to the drawing board yet the fuck again lads #you know what's the most frustrating.#the fact that everyone keeps telling me how wonderful i was and how close i was to being picked #but then i never do get fucking picked. do i #and even when someone tells me oh yes we'll hire you!!! they don't have the basic fucking decency to tell me outright if waiting a few days #is an issue like. what happened was i had two things going on and i was waiting on one of those to get back to me #and they were taking a bit so i made sure to constantly get back to the others to ask if they were okay to wait a while longer etc. etc.#and if not to tell me. because their conditions were worse so i HAD to see if the other employer would pick me before accepting #but also if they couldn't wait i would've just gone with the sure option despite the abysmal conditions #and they were always like oh no worries we'll wait on your answer etc. etc. blah blah #yesterday i call them to say hey so in the end i'm available if you still are!!! and the girl was like oh sure i'll tell our manager #and then today i get a call and the manager is saying oh big boss man had already proceeded with another candidate on FRIDAY actually #mind you friday. i was told. no worries we'll wait.#anyway bottom line it's my fault i should have just said yes right away but like this option would have been 40h/week for €600 A MONTH #and the other one was not much better but at least it was 30h/week and €650/month so i had to be sure i wasn't accidentally losing that #and now i have neither and no other prospects. lovely #how's your tuesday going

i long for a world where you don't need to have a car or a driver's license to be considered for jobs

#personal #job log #like. i send applications day in day out knowing that 80% will be disregarded to begin with bc i don't fucking drive #i wish cars a very explode

ugh hello i miss you guys how are you doingggg between training at my new job and my friend staying over i had no time nor energy to jump on here and now i fear i've lost the habit but i'll catch up a little now before my shift

#personal #job log #not that anyone cares but i do miss my beautiful mutuals so tell me what's up #training is going well i am learning quickly and honestly the job itself is fine it's very quiet #i can get some reading in and i wonder if i could maybe...... write...... god willing #i should study really but lol #anyway. my friend has gone back home we managed to finish half man together and she is now emotionally scarred 4ever<3 #that's all from me pretty much

my life these days is go to work study for your license go to sleep phone in bed. no myshows no mycharacter no myhyperfixation the one thing i do is listen to audiobooks to fall asleep but that's it i work very manageable hours and shifts and i am still always too tired to do anything when i'm home

#personal #job log #the tism chronicles #i knowwww neurodivergent people need like. so much more buffer time between one activity and the other #and i am trying to give myself grace and all that #but girl. how am i to have the 40h/week job i need to pay bills AND do like. anything else at all.#i feel like mood-wise i've been doing ok because i'm taking my meds regularly now even though they're not really the right ones anyway #but i am SO lethargic and unmotivated

how does one acquire a job i am actually so serious now like what the fuck

#job log #i cannot see myself being employed ever again and i don't know what the fuck to do

#job log

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