Hal and Constantine strike me as the best for best friends with benefits fake dating
Hal it’s if your family keeps pestering about a boyfriend and you need to bring someone nice home because maybe you implied you had someone to bring. He can be on his best behavior, he can act like a good boyfriend. He’s cute. He can make small talk. He can help with dishes if it’s like a dinner at home. Your family will love him, and the only problem is that they will want him to come back, so you either have to keep fake dating (mayhaps turns into real dating) or you two have to come up with some kind of lie about why you broke up.
Constantine is who you bring if you need someone awful. He’s who you bring if your family won’t stop bugging you about getting a boyfriend, and you need someone to be so shit that they never ask again. It’s not that Constantine is necessarily a bad guy, he wouldn’t be the worst boyfriend. It’s that if you ask him to act like a nice, proper boyfriend, that’s boring and he’s not going to want to spend an evening doing it. You ask him to be on his absolute worst behavior? Oh he’s absolutely down, especially if you can go do something after. Maybe to a bar - drinks and discussing the stupid shit you just did is always fun.
They both have range I think. Hal especially can play the charming, dream boyfriend your parents have always dreamed off, but in short bouts.
He can also play the broke asf boyfriend who does nothing all day excellently, because that's already what he is when he's not playing superhero. It’s truer to his nature.
Also, Hal comes with the added bonus of being away a lot. You don't have to keep the lie-up or invent a break-up, you just tell people he works overseas, you don't have to specify which seas.
“Wheres that charming man of yours we met last Christmas?”
“Out of the country, working. But he sends his love.”
“Ah, what a shame, lovely man. He's a keeper.”
John can play nice, but there’s gotta be something in it for him. Ultimately, he definitely plays the ‘gonna give your grandparents a heart attack’ boyfriend much better.
You just might not be able to make eye contact with your family for a while afterwards, but if you’re going to the extremes of bringing John home with a free pass to say what he wants, then you probably weren’t looking to maintain any bridges anyway.
