3.4.15.
12.20 am.
I think some people are good at being In Love, and some people are good at Love. Two very different things. I think Love is the obvious part. Sex all the time, laughing, smiling, always being around each other, the overwhelming seperation anxiety, etc.
Love is easy.
Love is he and I.
Before I met him, people would always ask me questions about love. I would answer them as if I knew what I was even talking about half of the goddamn time. I didn’t know anything. Love. What is Love? I just gave them answers on what I thought the rules we had to abide to were. Fall in love, fall out of love, meet someone new, and do it all over again until you get tired of waking up to beautiful blue eyes one morning, to screaming at the moon another night. It seemed easy enough to create this routine around your heart and hope that one day it would stop doing laps and finally settle down and be quiet for a bit. Then I met Him. Him. Insanely adorable, hyper, crazy, smart, funny, beautiful, strangely challenging, caring, sweetheart, unpredictable, predictable. I didn’t know what adjectives to put towards the impossible being that is him.
But i think this is Love: Love is falling and fighting but still managing to feel the way you felt when you first touched her hand.
I think that a lot of people are good at Love, some better than others. I think that he and I are very good at it. But I am not naïve. I am not going to say that I say all the right things to him. I won’t say we are perfectly happy. There are plenty of times when I want to punch him in the face and push him as far away as possible from me,
but I dont.
and not many people know how to not push them away.
Being In Love is a completely different aspect. That's when the harsh realities of life settle in. To be honest with you, I am in love with him. Which is not common for me to be with anyone. I was only in love with a past lover, and now him and I are just two strangers with some memories.
But I think that once you are In Love with someone, you tend to see shit differently. You notice the little things. How they stay quiet when they are upset. How they fight for what they want. How they react, how they feel, how they talk, everything is noticed by the one who is with them.
And now that he knows everything about me, be it physically, mentally, and emotionally, now is when i know we are In Love.
I think that when you are In Love, you completely disregard their flaws and all. You don’t care about the acne. You don’t care about the morning breath when you wake up next to them. You only care about the fact that you woke up next to the love of your fucking life and you couldn’t feel any more luckier. It is when you know them inside and out and you still want them no matter how many scars litter their body, whether it be physically on their skin or emotionally on their hearts or mentally in their souls.
Being In Love is being able to throw shit across the room and punch holes in walls and still wanting to lay down next to them under the same blanket.
Being In Love, in my opinion, is seeing them as fucking magic. It is being able to look at them as Art; not as something nice. It is talking about them like they put the stars in your sky.
But going back to the heart skipping laps, if your heart still manages to stop and skip multiple beats uncontrollably even after all of the fighting and yelling and screaming and in betweens, and even if you still want them after all the ugly sides have been shown, and even if you still want them long after the worst of both people have been viewed, that’s when you know- that’s when you know you’re good at Love.
