No Johnny the apartement is yours. I will be gone by sunday. Bye! *i end the call* Bubs (is this the end?)
[We can end it if you’d like to? We can time-skip to later on when you meet and try again or just leave it or whatever you’d like!]
When you hang up the phone I stand with my back against the wall and I close my eyes, wishing I would wake up from my dream now.
A month later I slot a letter in your sisters mail slot during a cold early morning.
I wish I could say goodbye, well I guess I already did. But I wish I could say it without yelling at you like an asshole, or without leaving a cake on the ground, it’s icing smeared everywhere. I wish I could hold you one last time. I wish I could embrace you in my arms and stroke your hair and hum in your ear one last time. I wish I could kiss your forehead and taste your lips and cup your cheeks… the cute cheeks I always poked. You’d slap my hand away but then I’d just poke you more. I wish I could poke your cheek again.
I’m sorry. I was a bad boyfriend. I didn’t give you the time nor attention you deserve— because you are a Queen and you deserve more than double of what I gave you. I hope you find a man better than me. One that will hold you as you fall asleep when you need him to, the way I wanted to, and one that will cherish you for as long as he physically can because you are so precious and so wonderful. You are worth the world and more. You are worth more that a thousand galaxies and a nebula.
I guess this is my goodbye. You’ll always have a space in my heart. I’ll always love you.