My stepmom called me, crying hysterical, yesterday afternoon. My uncle, the last remaining of my dad's brothers died during surgery. It wasn't because of the surgery itself: he had a an aneurysm in his stomach. She had texted me a couple days ago saying he was declining.
I wasn't particularly close to my uncle. I liked him. I found him a restful sort of person to be around. He's one of the few people I would invite over when I did visit and I would ask after him when she called because I know his health has been rotten these last few years. I'll miss him.
I've never really known what to do with crying people because I have an extraordinarily difficult time showing that much emotion in front of people. But I managed to calm her down a bit and we did chat about other things before getting off the phone.
One of which was when I would be coming to visit. Basically, what she was saying was "it's been long enough and I want you to come home. But it's your personal choice and you have to be comfortable with it." Which, great. It's my choice. I mean, it is to an extent. But it feels like a non-choice? The facts are still the same in the pandemic. I could, as someone who works with the public, have covid19 at any time. And not know it. Meaning I could potentially carry it around and pass it to anyone I come in contact with for up to two weeks and not have a clue that I'm doing so. Morally, that's a non-choice for me. Her response to this was that their numbers are good and the schools are opening. Things are "getting better." I said just because schools are opening, that doesn't mean it's better. Schools are opening and whole classes are being quarantined for two weeks at a time. "No, it's getting better. The numbers are good. But we only know what they tell us. That's all we've ever known: what they tell us."
At which point I realized what I was dealing with and tried to streer the conversation elsewhere. Because the truth of it is, I'm grounded until I'm vaccinated. That won't be until at least the beginning of next year, probably. Otherwise I could be responsible for wrecking the numbers in that tiny little county. Or I could get it there or on the road and wreck the families of my co-workers.
The numbers being "better" doesn't mean we get to do whatever we want. We start doing that and we'll be right back where we started. And worse, heading in to flu season (I did get my flu shot yesterday, woo).
The attitude that people not dying of covid19 means it's not a big deal is severely pissing me off. People are dealing with symptoms for weeks or months after they're no longer contagious. I've met one who still had neurological issues, dizziness, and fatigue five weeks later. We have no idea about the long-term effects on vital organs. You probably won't die, it's true. But it has the potential to irreparably change/shorten you life.
And she's 74 with a laundry list of health problems. If she gets it, odds are it will kill her.
Yeah, that's what "they" tell me. But "they" are doctors who have gone to school specifically for this kind of thing. "They" are updating us with new information all the time as they learn because that's how science works.
If I can't even justify going to the aquarium- one of my absolute favorite places- or letting my best friend in the car with me... How am I supposed to travel to see her? It's not paranoia. It's not being a sheep. It's honest concerns during a real pandemic.
