Dec 18, 2017
I’m shaking
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I’m shaking
I was watching some SHINee vids. I was laughing hard with them, enjoying the good times, the happiness they provide me.
Then my laughter got choked and tears started rolling down my face. I bursted into tears, I didn’t realise when.
I don’t want to think a lot about it. I don’t want anyone to read this and get intrusive thoughts.
But I was watching Jonghyun.
And realising they
And I don’t want to say it, and I don’t want to write it. Because it’ll make it more real.
I don’t want Jonghyun to be gone. I want them to keep smiling together. I want happiness for all of them. I don’t want happy times turning into blue memories.
I don’t want to think about it, but I know I will have to.
Someone please help me.
Jonghyun.
I’ve felt the same way. I don’t know if I will again.
But if I ever. Please give me strength. Or greet me with a hug when we meet. I will make sure you know I love you.
Listening to Let me Out. I just
I have felt the same way. Oh, so similar.
Some moths ago, I should have been the one to leave. I just didn’t have the audacity.
I wonder now. If I ever fall into that again. Will I ever get out? Now I know I could see you there.
Will I have the strength then? Could you wait for me there? Will you hug me if we meet there?
someone please say this isn’t real...
M!A - CRAVING ; craving for Jonghyun's body and sex. (your fiance of course)
I--.........................................fuck. {'hides her eyes} Nope nope don't think about it--- nope hnnn---- you didn't give me a time limit though--- ;A;
Sometimes I just randomly think "Augh when is oppa coming back? I miss him." And then I realize that I haven't actually even seen him face to face. How do I even miss someone I've never met? I don't know. But good god, I miss Jonghyun, I miss SHINee. Can I get a fucking hug? Augh what am I doing? Asking someone who doesn't know me and is halfway across the world...