Here's a happy video for us all to watch. What could be better than a roller coaster?!
Well, I've been to some themeparks in my time and though "fuck it, this place sucks. I could kill myself right now!". And you know what? This roller coaster could remedy my conundrum!
It's guaranteed to be the only damned roller coaster in the park where fat people in mobility scooters won't be steering to the front of the queue, leaving all us other mortals to queue until the blood has clotted in our feet, and all we can think of is ways in which we can inflict pain on the crying kid in front without his dad noticing (or park security).
Got to hand it to the guy - this is the way to go. And if there's a fast pass system available then all the better! You could leave your family at the overpriced park diner by saying "right, I'm off on the roller coaster - see you in the afterlife bitches!".
And this could be the way forward for handling diplomatic 'issues' too! "Hey Kim Jong-Un, wanna come and have a free go on my new coaster?"
I need to know when and where this is being built!