Hey, I figured out how to do read-mores! :D
So I’ve been trying this new thing where I accept what people think of me, rather than trying to change it or allowing it to consume me. That’s not always easy, but I’ve been trying to remind myself that others have every right to feel a certain way about me without anyone trying to change their opinions, or tell them they’re wrong.
My therapist pointed it out to me, and I’ve never thought of it this way before, but it has definitely opened my eyes. I mean, who do I think I am, walking around trying to tell other people what to think about me? They will form their own opinions, have every right to, and they usually have reasons for them. There’s no good or bad. It just...is. And maybe that’s okay.
It’s not gonna happen overnight, but I’m definitely ready to let all of this bitterness go. I don’t want to feel this way. It’s poison, but I see the opinions other people in my life hold toward mental illness, and my chest tightens up. It kills me to think that people I once thought might support me, would look at me and think I use my ‘fears’ to garner sympathy or gain attention, or to think there are people who believe anxiety can be summed up just with the word fear, as if that’s anywhere close to an adequate description. As if it’s as simple as being afraid.
This is the last time I will talk about what other people think of my mental illnesses. From here, my theme is acceptance. I must accept the things I cannot change, including people, because after all, who am I to look at them and tell them they’re wrong when I know damn well how I would react to the same words? That’s no way to live, especially if I’m trying not to be judgemental.
