#journalentry7

[jolya]

Bakit

The following is a journal entry about the seventh module of the NSTP class dated October 28, 2019. The speaker was Dr. Remedios P. Mondiguing.

As we have been given free rein with how the entry is written (and because I would hate for it to be JUST an informative essay), I will be writing this entry (and most of my entries) with creative liberty.

Word count: 136 words

Bakit kasalanan ko? Kasalanan ko bang nandoon ako? Yung suot ko? Yung katawan ko? Kung paano ako magsalita at kumilos?

Bakit niyo nagawa yun? Dahil ba nakainom? Joke lang ba? Hindi sinasadya? Biruan lang?

Bakit di ka tumigil? Nung sinabi kong wag di mo ba narinig? Akala mo ba ginusto ko yun?

Bakit ako? Bakit?

Kasi ang hirap aminin na hindi ako ligtas. Na hindi ako makakapaglakad sa gabi ng mag-isa. Ang hirap magtiwala’t maniwala. 

Hindi ko maisip kung saan ba kakapit dahil minsan sila’y di naniniwala. O kaya’y sesermonan ka pa. 

Eh kasalanan ko ba?

Bakit kailangan mo akong pagsabihan?

Bakit kailangang mahaba ang suot na pambaba at maayos ang pantaas? Hindi ba ako rerespetuhin sa kung sino ako at hindi sa kung ano ang kasarian ko?

Kung pwede lang pakisagot lahat ng bakit.

[agent-z-18]

Journal Entry #7

October 24th

So, I wasn’t able to go on a retrieval the last two days because my folks were already gone by the time I got home from school and back almost ten minutes within me walking through the door. It’s a little disappointing, knowing that I’ve missed out on two retrievals, but this last one had Python involved and I know that I am nowhere ready to deal with her and watch her injure my family, which, thankfully, wasn’t too bad this time around. Nothing Dad couldn’t heal right then and there after the retrieval was finished. But, I guess me missing out on these last two retrievals have given me some time to figure out what to do to make sure that Ray can’t just track where I’m going if I manage to score another EO. I found some flexible sheets of lead online for pretty cheap that I could use to line an old pouch that I found hidden in my closet. I’m just gonna use some fabric glue to make sure it stays in place on the outer fabric then see if I can figure out how to stitch another layer of fabric on top of the lead sheet so that it doesn’t scratch the EO up. While energy orbs are very sturdy, I don’t know the scratch resistance on them, and I’m not about to test it out just in case it allows some of its energy out through the scratch. I don’t need to figure out if a damaged EO can explode. That’d just be embarrassing, not to mention a waste of a perfectly good EO. Luckily enough, Jordan said he’d go with me to pick up some soft, easy to sew fabric tomorrow after school since the lead sheets should be there waiting for me by that time. Hopefully, none of my family members are home to grab it for me, I just really don’t need them to be all nosy about it. Me coming up my villain name was hard enough, I don’t need to try to explain why I need lead sheets to everyone.

Speaking of my villain name, Taylor thought it was absolutely hilarious that I chose ‘Agent Z’. Apparently, it’s my user-name for my old web page and I just completely forgot about it. I haven’t been on that account for a few years, I don’t even know if I remember the password to get into it. Maybe I’ll check it out later, I’m too tired right now. Taylor was also far more impressed by the fact that I managed to get an orb and keep it than Jordan was. He doesn’t think I should be keeping it, even after I explained to him why I haven’t put it in the safe yet. I just haven’t figured out a good enough excuse as to why I would need access to the inside of the safe yet. I mean, I can just scan my hand and open it, but Ray tracks everyone who goes inside it and the safe automatically sends out an alarm if anyone tries to tamper with the lock or door, so disarming the lock won’t work either. I wish I knew where exactly Ray’s lab was so that I could drop by and just leave it there like it just materialized inside his lab like it does outside and he just got lucky about it. I’m sure that it’s plausible for an orb to appear inside, there’s no evidence saying that it CAN’T happen, it just hasn’t yet. Hmm. Let me think more on that.

Evelyn and Matt still haven’t moved on from the fact that I managed to vanish with the orb. I’ve caught them twice now discussing on how to locate ‘Agent Z’s’ hideout and which abandon locations this new villain could be hiding in. Wyatt usually just listens quietly while tending to his plants on the windowsill in the living room. I don’t think he’s as bothered by the fact that they ‘lost’ an EO like our sister and brother are, but boy, it sure is entertaining. They’ve even asked ME if I have heard of a new villain coming to town recently and I nearly died at that question. Thank everything that I did a lot of theatre these last few years or I would have broken down laughing at them. Somehow, I managed to keep a straight face while telling them that “no, I haven’t heard of an ‘Agent Z’. I can ask Taylor and see if her folks have heard anything if you like?” Which, I did. And Taylor nearly choked on her pop, which was rather funny to watch. She told me she’d talk to her folks for me.

Though, I feel like now that I’m thinking about it, maybe the news shouldn’t catch wind of a new villain popping up. I mean, it’ll look rather suspicious once I stop going to retrievals after this second one, ‘cause, I mean, it’s not like I’ll be able to keep obtaining EOs, especially once I’m off at college. Unless I go to a college that’s no more than about two hours away. I could always expand the radius of how far my tracker can scan for orbs and I’m sure I could figure out a way to code something into my smart-watch so that I can get notifications right away when the tracker locates an orb… But should I? I mean, I had fun on this last retrieval, but that doesn’t mean each retrieval will be as easy as that one was. I only dealt with one villain and even then, Typhoon had left me to my own devices to try and obtain the other orb for himself. I do feel a little bad for not helping him out and I kinda want to make it up to him since he said some rather nice stuff about me, but I also don’t trust my skills enough in fighting to do more than dodge around and throw stinky smoke bombs at my family. But how am I to be sure that Shrapnel and Python would do the same? For all I know, they might attack me on sight and take the EO from me and then leave me to deal with my family. But, then again, I really, really like the thought of going on retrievals, even if I don’t come home with an EO. Maybe I should reserve judgment until after I’m able to go on a second retrieval. Can’t make any rash decisions, right?

Because becoming a temporary villain was absolutely not a rash decision and I totally put a lot of thought behind it.

I really need to work on my lying skills, they suck worse than my fighting does. And that’s saying a lot.

I’d make a terrible full-time villain.