February 1st, 2014.
Happy February first my luv bugs! In twelve days it'll be my birthday. In twelve days I won't get a birthday phone call from my dad, not that I'm used to it. The last two years he hasn't called, if he did it was a week or two late. But I don't expect a call or gift from him. That's okay because now I'm used to it. I'll be 15 and for the last five years I've learned to grow up with out a real dad (yes I have a step dad whom I love but you know? It's not the same) But it's a part of life and I know that one day down the road I'll have to talk to him again, I'm not ready yet. I guess I grew up a little faster than some people. I think for my birthday I'm getting a record play ( thank you ba$ed god aka mom and stepdad ) and what I truly want is a long heart felt letter from someone who notices things that I don't know about my self someone who loves me more than my self. Scratch that, I want all my friends to write me a eulogy even though I'm not dying or having a funeral. Maybe that's what I want, but who knows my emotions change everyday and I could want a huge birthday in a week. But who knows nobody really does. Nobody understands me, I don't understand myself, will anyone every understand me? Probably not. That's all for now. Yours truly, Alyssa.