#journalish thing.

[manybodies]

I love the idea of running away

          of picking arms

              picking up cars

and just taking off into the sunset

Sometimes you are with me

but most of the time I'm alone

and that seems  like a grand adventure

[manybodies]

I was supposed to go out tonight with friends and or family members, no one ever got back to me. Now i'm drinking half a bottle of wine, and eating popcorn while about to start a movie. meh

[manybodies]

Earlier today i took a trip of whims with a dear friend of mine. IT was magical and unexpected, we just kinda did what we felt we wanted to. Yet as the night progressed we found ourselves within the castor in SF. For those of you who don't know I had an incident that happened there earlier this year, thanks to nuestra hermana ( look her up, she's the shit) I was able to somewhat process what happened to me.

I feel that as this year goes by i slowly become more unstable of mind and what is able to keep me right. I didn't know that being near the area would bring like the swelling of tides emotions that I had thought had passed. I didn't know that the next morning would replay in my mind until it was, and i had nothing but feelings of worries and distress.

My friend kept asking me if I was alright, asking me if I was stress. I thought she meant perhaps in the issue of driving in the city. How could i explain to her that i was reliving the moments that had passed and all I desired was getting as far away from there. I wasn't able to breath until the distance from that place was great with miles, mountains, and water distancing us. It saddens me that a mecca of queerdom might be forever out of my reach because of my history with it, and more than anything that if it continues i might never be able to reclaim it.

[manybodies]

I did something stupid, i started watching heroes with my brother on monday, and the only reason we didn't finished the first seasons yesterday was because i had to work today. Why

[manybodies]

Every since i was a kid, people who have known me would sing a song titled after my name. Normally it would be the one in west side story ( if i never hear that song again it will be too soon), and lately it's been the Carlos Santana ( that was a little better, but eh). I never really cared for it, being in public and having people break out into song. I just never did anything for me, if anything it just made me uncomfortable of my song, and how it would be associated with me. That being said I think this is one of the few songs that I might be able to stand, it just gives me a good feeling and that makes me happy. 

[manybodies]

I just lifted up my armpits and was able to smell myself

I smell delicious....

i wish I could eat myself. 

[manybodies]

I get to do a project about latin@ character in comics, and punk bands in Latin America, so fucking excited, on another note, if anyone has information about punk bands in latin america that would be greatly appreciated

[manybodies]

i need to stop wanting people that don't want me .