#jq.txt

[whyremember]

god idk if anyone else can relate to this but when i’m cortisol sick my body feels so warm but my face feels ice cold and it is thee most unpleasant sensation

is that cus all my blood is pumping to the places that would need blood if i did what my nervous system was telling me (run for my life)?

[whyremember]

most times i mention not working on eclipses someone asks me why and i say “it’s just a rule i have :)” cuz it feels soooo stupid to be like well i’m a leo sun quadruple cancer with a grand cardinal cross so any big transit of the moon saps my energy and flares my chronic illnesses and makes any plan go haywire and i’ve tested this pattern with multiple different variables over the course of a decade

so much easier to let ppl think it’s just like a religious thing or an ocd ritual

[whyremember]

love having a scorpio child with a virgo stellium cuz he’s so funny and weird and interested in having cool adventures but also always sweats the details and puts safety first. such an excellent combo. planets did well with that one

[whyremember]

ew i wish someone could eternal sunshine my ass i don’t wanna think of the past ever never again

[whyremember]

i hate inst*gr*m because i will be literally scratching at the fabric of life itself trying to stay alive and it feels like everyone is poking me with sticks from outside of a cage heckling me for tattoo and ootd

[whyremember]

i feel so out of place in this world solely because of how not-yet-disabled ppl interact with me and what they expect from me. even ppl who claim to have endless empathy for my limits still get fed up with the restrictions and eventually look at me like i’m milking it. or at very least holding them back. they always expect me to have the stamina to fulfill their plans without ever asking what my capacity is. maybe we’re just not compatible. maybe u don’t have the capacity for empathy u think u do. i don’t understand how some ppl can be in my life and witness my limitations for YEARS and still make no effort to create lower-impact ways to connect or at least bake decompression time into our time together. im so tired and im gonna die if i keep adhering to abled expectations. i don’t know what to do.

google how to keep pushing thru in a world u don’t fit into

[whyremember]

i think it is so funny (frustrating irritating heartbreaking) how my dad used to rage about my mom every year she didn’t wish me a happy birthday and now he’s nowhere to be found on the day. pathetic feckless child of a man fr

[whyremember]

dear god please don’t ever let a terf see me referring to my child self as she/her and think they’ve won. amen