#judgment attacks

[starlightnecromancer]

Being able to confirm that one of your parents actually did resent you, hate you, and at absolute best felt aggressively neutral about you is... a wild experience.

No wonder my brother and I grew up the way we did. A broken and abused woman inflicted that violence on her children

Every conversation I have with my mother hurts in the same way that pulling a steel pipe out of my leg does, it has to happen before the healing can start

[starlightnecromancer]

Sometimes I want to go off on my Nana. I want to yell and scream and tell her all the things that make my heart bleed. How its not my or my mom's or my brother's faults that she can't stop buying brand new shiny things she can't afford.

That she's so deeply deeply in debt that its dragging us all down, that she's so terrified of being alone that she's sinking her claws into us and preventing us from being able to leave and free ourselves from the toxic swamp.

I'm trapped, she trapped me here, she trapped mom. She will never apologize. She's constantly hurting mom. She's all but threatening my brother and I.

I wish I could yell, I wish I could scream. But more than anything I just want to go away from here.

[starlightnecromancer]

With each day that passes the urge to become a serial arsonist who specifically targets landlords grows. Fuck them and let them burn alive.

[starlightnecromancer]

God I love having a brother who would rather hide behind his mental illness for his shitty actions and one that doesn't actually care about anyone It's so nice, I love getting threatened at 4:30 in the morning 🙃