Somebody's Daughter Response - by Soo Song
Somebody’s Daughter by Julian Sher shares provocative accounts of girls who were trafficked into the sex trade, and the thought processes behind those who took advantage of them. I couldn’t stomach several things—manipulation, abuse, hopelessness—but one theme stuck out to me in particular: the response (or lack) of the victims’ communities to the girls’ predicaments. I respond to this theme personally in the following paragraphs.
Under the wings of my conservative Asian family, I grew up with the traditional values of prudence and modesty, especially anything concerning the way I dressed and acted in public. I changed an outfit if my mother wanted me to, and I only got around to (secretly) purchasing a crop-top my senior year. It was only after graduating that I developed a new interest in fashion and began to slowly peel away some of the reserved ideas I had grown up in.
But despite becoming more liberal, surrounded by encouraging and fearless friends, I realized one thing: I wouldn’t ever feel comfortable wearing certain things. My conservatism had become a frame of mind, and it convinced me that the way I dressed would reflect things about my family and personal character. Almost subconsciously, I also saw others through the lens I had grown up with. Throughout high school, I didn’t hold back from telling friends to pull up their shirts, or that a certain outfit seemed way too revealing. Rather than seeing their choice of clothing as self-expression, I saw it as a detriment to themselves and others.
By judging them the way I did, I see now, I propagated the same kind of contempt that people have historically held towards victims of sex trafficking. The girls in this book—and many more out in the world—said that all they looked for was love. In comparison to often abusive and disturbingly violent backgrounds, the pimps seemed to offer the compassion and a sense of stability they sought. Once a relationship of trust was established, these girls would fall into drugs, further abuse, and a relationship of fear. These victims of sexual trafficking become twisted into believing that they’re only good at “performing tricks” and selling their bodies.
The sad thing is, if they end up running away and finding a way back, most girls return to a community that only pushes them away. The people around them re-emphasize the idea that they’re only good for “whoring” and that their actions derive from their own desire to get attention.
Maria, one of the sexual trafficked children in the book, recalls how her family stopped attending church due to the vicious rumors traveling around town, and how even her own sisters would say that she needed to “stop whoring around.” Instead of being identified as a victim, Maria was assumed as someone who had made terrible choices—and therefore lived the repercussions. Despite going back to her home multiple times, often in desperation, she received nothing but judgement and hostility from her direct community, including her parents. Everyone saw, but no one tried to understand.
It’s due to these kind of responses that sexual trafficking victims choose to return to their pimp and bear with their life until they waste away. Just as I judged unfairly based on my conservative standards, others may be judging these victims as perpetrators of their own situation. We may be applying the thought that you can simply choose what you wear, do, and live. But this old mindset needs to change in the 21st century. We are living in an area rampant with sexual trafficking and in order to stop it, we need to first form communities that are less judgmental, more honest, and willing to offer support.
