#julynew

[khodorkovskaya]

22.07.2021

i had the most wonderful day on tuesday.

i wokeup a bit hungover from the party at nik's (it was weird but fun, i played lepa brena and all the techno bros were like wtf). and the only thing on my mind was sex. i was like damn if only i could subtly tell B that i want him to fuck me all day long... so i went to his place and it was like he read my mind. we did have sex all day long and it was amazing i came three times. 😁

and then we went for a walk and got ice cream from mcdonalds. and there were apple trees everywhere! and a cat came up to me and showed his belly and it was the cutest thing.

i kept thinking about how it was a shame that our vision was so limited. i kept turning my head like at owl, trying to take in the beauty of it all. the flowers, the apple trees, the pink sunset. i wanted to see 360° around me and take it all in at once.

and then we came home and made pasta. and then cuddled up and fell asleep in each other's arms.

i am so in love you guyssss 💞🌸

[khodorkovskaya]

17.07.2021

i don’t understand men. my boyfriend in particular.

we were talking about pesticides for some reason and he was like “yeahhh the last referendum was very stupid bc people who don’t know anything about the matter vote and their opinion is taken seriously” and i said that that is exactly why i voted against that law bc i saw that farmers voted against it and they know better. and then he said “im definitely gonna vote in the next referendum bc this time it’s about gay marriage and im against gay marriage”. and i was like what why ??? i mean i wouldn’t exactly consider myself an advocate for gay marriage bc here in switzerland we have pacs which is like the same thing. but then again, im bisexual so hypothetically i could’ve ended up with a woman so hypothetically i would’ve wanted to get married. so why would i vote against gay marriage? and i get that there are people who are indifferent to it and are not gonna vote, okay. but my boyfriend is gonna go and actively vote against gay marriage....????? so embarrassing.

so out of curiosity i asked him why he’s gonna vote against it. and he started going on and on about ~gay propaganda~ and ~feminine men~ and how we’re all being brainwashed and indoctrinated. like ??? i was shocked of course. it’s not 2016 anymore, being edgy ain’t it. and what’s wrong with feminine men??? he was like “well, if a woman gets harrassed on the bus, who’s gonna protect her?” bro what. i was so embarrassed for him. like imagine being a reactionary at 32. and he kept going on and on and on about how SoCiEtY is being controlled and PrOpAgAnDa and a bunch of other shit and he was getting so angry about it too. like almost shouting. 

so i was like “okay, listen. you have a reactionary ideology and it can get dangerous. please listen to both sides before forming an opinion. im worried about you. please don’t waste your energy on this kind of stuff. it shouldn’t bother you as much. this is worrying.” like i was so embarrassed! and this was in the morning too. like we just woke up like an hour ago can we not. anyway, he got mad at me that i didn’t kiss him goodbye. and now i guess he’s mad. because....?? he brought up the gay marriage subject and he got angry about it on his own, i didn’t say a word. 

why is he so obsessed about gay marriage. i don’t get it. :/