Thank you for your post about being a bi Christian. I’ve come to the slow realization over the last couple years and it’s been hard. I can’t really talk to anyone about it because my non Christian friends will think I’m homophobic and my family/church/conservative friends either don’t believe bisexuality is real or they’ll treat me differently. I want to tell my old youth pastor because he’s the only person I’d feel remotely ok telling but I can’t work up the courage. Do you have any advice?
@jumbofork I wish I had some helpful advice, but I gotta level with you, friend- I’m a big fat coward. the biggest.
I sat on my hands for years before saying anything to anybody about my sexuality. I hemmed and hawed. I tried to drop extremely subtle hints to the point where they were too subtle and nobody noticed. I vagueposted. I quietly reblogged posts I agreed with without outing myself. I timidly attempted to argue with someone I disagreed with once and totally chickened out the second I met resistance. the whole shebang.
I’ve known I needed to start talking about reconciling my faith and sexuality for ages. and instead I sat and sat and sat until finally God put all the words I’d been wanting to say into somebody else’s mouth like a freakin Aaron to my Moses, and then He kick-dropped their words into my field of vision so I could physically see I’m not alone in this.
He did this three times. from three separate people. it took me til the third time to start opening up and adding my words to this conversation.
(that’s this post, if you’re curious.)
I sill haven’t told my family. I haven’t told 95% of my friends. I finally opened up to my best friend and my roommates this year and it was only because I saw that they responded positively to somebody else who admitted he was ssa. the first time I opened up on this blog was two months ago.
my point is, I’m a Huge Weenie who eats at Weenie Hut Jrs and the Lord has been unbelievably patient with my weenie self, so I am not really the person to ask where to get courage from, ‘cause I have none.
I will say, though, that when I did start opening up to people I trusted, it was an enormous relief. knowing that my friends are here for me, ready to encourage me and pray for me, even if they don’t completely understand my experiences, has helped so much. it really, really helps to have even one person in your court.
ask the Lord to give you the courage you don’t have, and to kick you in the pants if He needs to. ask Him to place more people in your life that you can trust, who will be a strength to you and speak the truth in love. and then take a deep, deeeep breath (multiple breaths, even) and go talk to your old youth pastor. if he doesn’t understand, then he doesn’t understand. but I’ll be praying that he listens well and demonstrates the love of Christ to you. who knows, he might even know other people who are in your position.
good luck, friend. 💜
