One thing that I’ve recently noticed - especially now that Jimtober started, and that we’ve entered Jikook’s 4th month since discharge - is that the relevance, not weight, of Jimin and Jungkook’s joint enlistment hits me in waves, every now and then, and every wave is stronger than the previous but reaffirms it at the same time.
Things are taking shape again, with public events, album writing, weverse lives, hair changes, instagram posts and hangouts. Not going back to how they were, not aiming at anything that we’ve already seen: BTS have gone through changes, individually and as a group, and their approach to music, fans, public persona and so on must have been enriched and shape shifting throughout these months, these years.
But I also see us and them as a compass, recalibrating everytime but always finding our own north, our own balance with each other. Which is fascinating because it shows how careful we’ve been with building our relationship with BTS and how healthy it is meant to be. You change, I change, but we always find ourselves meeting each other again, getting to know each other again, sharing life together again, also thanks to music that is one of the best forms of connection existing.
I’ve noticed that this kind of recalibration happens between Jikook too all the time, like a constant, both thanks to their effort and their chemistry. And today more than ever it hit me how strong this pattern is. How good they are at walking side by side - even with different rhythms, at different paces every now and then - with the new versions of themselves that life reveals and pushes out.
I think they’re basically, but in the most fascinating way, able to see each other’s core or soul, if you want, even through the most life altering and emotionally challenging events. If one’s the needle the other is the magnet and vice versa, all the time, and everything that derives from it is a natural, expected consequence. It’s what’s healthier for their hearts at that specific moment in time.
I always want to be careful with the line between expressing what I see and feel about Jikook and romanticizing them in an unrealistic or sugar coated way. So before losing myself in thoughts and emotions that would lead you all to an insane amount of drama and pathetic behavior with me, I’ll simply share a moment from one of the lives the members gifted us during their time in LA.
I’m talking about the last minutes of the first Namkook live of that night, right after Jimin’s outfit change that got us - and Jungkook above all - foaming at the mouth, their giggles with Tae too, and the general light and warm vibe of an ot4 live. I miss those times like it was 5 years ago💔. Anyways.
I had to stick to the korean subtitles since the weverse English translation for me didn’t work properly.
Now I hope the korean speaking angels on this app will correct any mistakes, but this should be the translation of this convo in which Taehyung is involved too, even if out of the frame:
🐰: “After he came back from the army, Jimin got even funnier”
🐨/🐻: “Does that make sense?” – “I heard you bullied Jimin a lot in the army?”
🐰:“No, he just loosened up a lot”
🐨: “that’s because of you, that he loosened up”.
This sentence holds layers. History. It’s an archive, as deep as the ocean. We could get lost in it for hours if we wanted to. And for some reason I didn’t feel ready to face it back when it happened, maybe because just like their companion system’s application I had to process it or maybe because it was so obvious to me that it didn’t need much to add.
But then, again, I was thinking of Jimin’s live, of how he said he wants to come meet us on weverse more often, and how Jikook said the exact same thing in their last two lives and how all men basically do is lie, and I started reflecting on their enlistment again. Another wave. Another realization.
Most of us moved on - or should’ve…- from their enlistment. Of course. Since their discharge in June, EVERYTHING has happened. Name it and it’s in the list. Scandals, laughters, tik toks, events, boobs and chests out, instagram posts, drought, more muscles, more chests and boobs out. I’ve lost count.
And also our personal lives keep moving, things keep happening on our own little islands too. So for me, when the thought of these last two years hits, it’s a whole in the feels-moment. It’s intense. Like “stop what you’re doing and stare at the wall for 5 minutes” moment. I remind myself of when everything started in 2022, of how I felt the need to open this blog and connect with people in order to elaborate that feeling of gloominess for what was yet to come. I remember the news hitting the timeline everyday. The weverse announcements. I mean, all of it.
And I realize that it’s been a ride for us, let alone for them. Let alone for Jimin and Jungkook who even went so far with it and applied to a system that could lower the chances of separation to zero. That’s when I understand I know nothing, I’m far away from them, and their beautiful minds and hearts are way more complex and emotionally challenged than I can assume.
Jimin’s words in his last live are stuck with me. “Living a good life as an adult is not easy”. No, it’s not. Especially in his position, especially in his context.
And the fact that in order to make that effort to live a good, true to oneself life feel less heavy, Jimin and Jungkook thought of each other, and thought of each other as a support system in the toughest of situations, and thought of each other with trust in their bond and their communication instead of focusing on fear or insecurity, is the deepest, truest, most precious part of it. Precious is the word I’ve been looking for in the past 2 years, and now I feel like it’s the right one and fits it all perfectly.
It’s precious because they’ve kept it safe in their shared box of memories, and they won’t reveal much of it. We know they struggled to sleep and talked or wrote together, but not more. Just that surface, that evokes a feeling of peace and love in a place full of psychological stress. A vague image but a very very strong concept: doesn’t need more explanations.
We know they slept in the dirt and didn’t take a proper shower for 10 days in a row, but not how it felt. We just know they came alive out of it also thanks to each other.
We know that Jimin’s job was not easy and draining, probably alienating at times, but Jungkook made sure to cook well for him, how he liked it, to keep him up.
We know they had conversations, they even were the only ones talking to each other as soon as they arrived, like school best friends during class. Nothing more about it.
We know that in the middle of it, maybe during one of those difficult nights or as a habit, a spontaneous need, Jungkook’s head landed on Jimin’s arm. That big, buff guy just needed to feel Jimin’s body attached to his own. He needed physical closeness, in the most tender way. And no matter how hard Jimin tried to push him away… he landed back there.
And lastly, we know that Jimin loosened up thanks to Jungkook. That Jungkook let him be himself, and honestly, that itself doesn’t need more explanation because it’s been obvious since forever. Nothing more about it to say.
They love each other, in a way that makes Jimin feel comfortable with carrying that joke nobody is laughing at further and further, because he knows that whether they’re alone or in a crowded room, Jungkook is somewhere near smiling or nodding and doesn’t think his personality is worthless, his humor is too much, his charm takes up too much space.
Jungkook doesn’t mind Jimin taking up space, sharing things about himself, being more confident, being less controlled in situations where his nerves need to be relaxed or where relaxing them would benefit him.
Jungkook doesn’t judge Jimin’s extra-tiredness on a weverse live leading him to feet on the crotch or in the face, pulling the plug out of the charging tablet, mentioning his precious thing that needs to be alive and well.
It’s clear that Jungkook cherishes Jimin’s truest self, in every context, every scenario. The way he perceives it doesn’t matter as long as Jimin himself is feeling comfortable in his own skin. And this dynamic must’ve strengthened in the military, a place where letting yourself be is hard - especially for someone like Jimin who feels represented by hair and had to cut it off, by clothes and had to wear anonymous uniforms, by accessories and couldn’t wear them.
All we know is that Jimin loosened up because of Jungkook, that an external individual - a wise and observant one, Namjoon - noticed it, and that it was not the result of some odd or unhealthy codependent dynamic, instead it was the result of the most human and natural behavior we’re taught since we’re born: connecting with others to find ourselves.
And this positive catalyst, which was the consequence of a positive, even if challenging, choice - enlisting together - which was again the result of a serendipitous encounter back in 2012 that changed Jikook’s lives forever, had effects on Jimin even outside of the military: something they lived together in there, came out of there with them. Something they gave to each other in a tough environment, ended up enriching their “hard adult life” outside, and following them outside, to live more fully and truthfully.
This is all we know, factually. But it’s easy, if we close our eyes and reflect, to assume and understand how impactful their enlistment was, how precious what they shared in there was, how precious it felt to lock eyes with a known soul among all those unknown eyes. It’s easy to imagine how sweet their conversations must have looked like from the outside, with the moon up in the sky in the middle of nowhere, with an unfair system sleeping and ready to wake up again in the morning like it’s normal to.
We haven’t heard about it, but we can understand how deep their sentiment for each other is, and how much they love each other if they were still able to find joy, lessons, humanity and peace in each other while going through all that.
They’re the most precious representation of that Magic Shop line: “you gave me the best of me, so you’ll give you the best of you”. We always thought it perfectly encapsulated Jikook’s essence, and we got proof of it during a random, unexpected conversation on an unrelated live.
Jimin and Jungkook show the best version of the other to each other, and like that are able to be themselves more, be comfortable with who they are more, and show themselves their best selves too.
They’ve recalibrated, they’ve found their new pace and shape, another chapter closed and another mountain was climbed. I strongly believe they’re serious about their own bond and won’t easily let it go, whether it means showing it off too much or surrendering to the hardships of life. To still be able to see each other as that oasis in the desert, as that safe space, in a world that wants you to find enemies and ignore soulmates…that is precious.
And I believe Jimin meant it when he said “if we are together, even the desert could become a sea”. That man means what he says, and he meant every word on Letter as a statement of something strong he has felt at one point in his life… a crucial point, corresponding to the creation of FACE tracks. Those lyrics become clearer and clearer every day and the way Jikook’s evergreen beauty matches them is…yeah, precious.
In the end that is the point of love, as a whole. The other gives you the best of you and the tools to do it on your own as well. And they’ve reached it. Quietly, between their private lines, fighting for and with it, talking, choosing the hard way, risking, living. So I believe precious is the right word because whatever these two share shines naturally, it doesn’t scream to be seen, and because it’s proof of how raw, human and simple living that “good adult life” can get if shared with the right person, the right one to make that weight on your shoulders a bit lighter with.
