This is just a frustration vent related to my artwork and growth as an artist so donāt feel obligated to read unless you want to! Its not that interesting, I just had to throw the words out into the void somewhere to help my mental state
I feel like lately Iāve been really struggling to grow as an artist as well as my socials kind of stagnating. I know thereās no sure fire way to fix either of those issues (keep drawing and keep posting) but itās definitely disheartening at times. I do draw for myself, like I definitely havenāt really drawn much that I didnāt actually want to draw, but I also know what (most) people like in this community so itās very easy to play that up in my art.
Definitely just having a very bad case of ācomparing yourself to othersā situation right now. Not to out my wife or anything but they are WILDLY more popular than I am in terms of interactions such as likes/reblogs as well as followers. We both started our accounts at around the same time, and I am SO so happy of the growth theyāve had, I love to see the new stuff sheās creating as well as how many people enjoy it enough to throw a like or reblog at it. She has an amazing style that you can clock from a mile away, does wonderful work with colors and posing, and every time they experiment with new techniques it just always comes out looking so cool. I truly cannot praise their skill enough and getting to see their success and how much they enjoy what they create just makes me fall so much deeper in love with her ā¤ļø
Looking at my accounts though, Iāve got maybe a third of the followers (less on sites like bsky and fur affinity) and struggle to get more than 20 notes on my own without a reblog from them or rarely, another more popular artist. I know that my style isnāt nearly as fleshed out as theirs and that Iām not as experimental (Iāve been working on that lately) but Iām really trying. And evidently Iām just not very good right now at handling the hard truth that Iām not as skilled as them and so many other artists I look up to. I can see how much Iāve improved in the past year and a half Iāve been doing this but Iām dipping hard back into the opinion that itās not enough.
Yes, I draw for myself, and I have fun with what Iām drawing. 90% of the time Iām so happy with how my recent works have come out, and Iām like āYea, this looks so good, surely other people will think so too!ā
And then I get, maybe 10 notes. I already donāt have much of an ego but this really kills everything I have left.
This is not even mentioning the money part of things since I would love to be able to make some money on the side off of my artwork since itās literally what my college degree is in !! I do have a stable job but it is absolutely a ābarely scraping byā salary. Iām in my job for the stable hours, benefits, and people I interact with, not the pay. So being able to take on commissions and draw things for others that I also enjoy drawing? Sounds like an amazing gig to help bring in more money.
Canāt really do that unless people like my stuff! And I canāt explain how appreciative I am of everyone who has been along with me on this ride so far, I love every single one of you SO much and this is not me trying to be unappreciative towards my current followers. Purely this is just about the potential growth I could have, but am not getting.
Long story short, all of this is frustration with myself because nobody has done anything wrong. I donāt have an easily identifiable style, I donāt focus on drawing one gender over the other (I feel like this could really be hurting me since a lot of gay men donāt want to look at women art and vice versa), and Iām in a furry subcommunity that is growing, but is still niche to some degree.
To the 3 or 4 people who see this and the 1 or 2 out of that who read this - I see you, I love you, and Iāll be fine. I just wish things were easier.
