Phineas Taylor Barnum (1810-1891) was a showman and former member of the connecticut legislature who is often accredited with the coining of the term "there is a sucker born every minute." this cannot be adequately confirmed, but one thing he did actually do was form a circus troupe with one James Anthony Bailey. of course, not many people truly care about this. in the theme song for the movie Killer Klownz from Outer Space, titled Killer Klownz, The Dickies reference the maybe-quote by Barnum while referring to clowns. specifically, killer clowns (klownz) from outer space, in their physics-defying circus tent, who capture humans in cotton candy cocoons to drain the blood from.
i first found out about Killer Klownz from Outer Space from a youtube channel i still watch to this day by the name of Dead Meat. if i had to accredit someone with my current love of schlocky B-movies, i think i would blame James A. Janisse of that channel. at least, i can blame him for my love of this movie.
now, you may be asking why i love this movie. as i stated in my first post, i'm a lover of refined films, and this movie is all but that. before rewatching it, i thought i may just be blinded by nostalgia, as when i first watched it i was coming to terms with my sexuality and the main three of this movie (that being Grant Cramer, Suzanne Snyder, and John Allen Nelson) were a sight for sore eyes, but rewatching it i was immediately thrown back into the masterful character crafting of the film. for a low-budget film made in the late 80s, the characters feel less like stereotypical caricatures and more like actual people one may find in their own towns. even side characters who show up for maybe a scene or two feel fleshed out enough that i wish to learn more.
the protagonists of this film are certainly protagonists from an 80s b-movie, don't get me wrong. you have Mike, the goofy boyfriend with as many dumb lines the creators could fit in for him. Debbie, his girlfriend and the one who holds the common sense in their relationship. and Dave, Debbie's cop ex-boyfriend who's still in love with her. setting aside the massive boy-crush i've had on Dave since that original viewing of the Dead Meat kill-count, they are the perfect threesome for this movie. add in the imperfect special effects, the goofy looking clown puppets/costumes, and the insane amount of references to older classics, and you have a memorable sci-fi horror comedy that i still find myself quoting to this day.
the ways in which the klownz capture people are maybe the best part of the movie. not only do they use space-cotton-candy-guns (with the most 80s special effects as the lasers), but they use increasingly elaborate gags to showcase their clownage (klownage?). my personal favourites are the shadow puppets and Shorty knocking that biker's block off, but the pie toss is always a classic.
the movie had a total budget of around $2 million, which might sound like a lot to non-movie makers, but in the industry that is actually spectacularly low. despite this, the Chiodo brothers managed to create a very prop-heavy sci-fi movie that is still memorable, and that is due to the klownz. i mean, what other movie has a klown kaiju as the final monster?
overall, this movie is just a funny horror sci-fi made out of a love of the game. if i had to rate it, i would give an 8/10 for entertainment value. as for scare factor? maybe a 4/10. that last scene with Mooney is the worst the film does in terms of horror, but they sure made a dummy out of him.
there aren't many triggers for the movie before watching, but if you're afraid of clowns or adverse to (implied) animal dead, i would suggest maybe straying away from it. it's not very graphic, and focuses more on comedy than on the horror, but take care of yourself.
i'm still debating what movie to do for next week, but it's between Halloween III (1982) and Audition (1999). so, look forward to that
requests are open for future movies to review. apologies if this is short and all over the place, as this is my first actual review for people other than close friends. i'm open to advice or criticism on how to improve.
i've never understood the hype behind July 4th. it may just be because i am not american, but even here, few people go all-out on July 1st (Canada Day) as compared to americans during July. personally, i view both of these holidays as nothing but a giant cash grab for subpar merch for your own country, overpriced garbage that, for the most part, you could make yourself. it doesn't help that i'm not a big fan of fireworks, either, i guess. Jaws (1975) shows just how cashgrabby the holiday is, considering the mayor of Amity can't even shut the beaches down after someone dies by a supposed shark attack. whatever supports the economy, right?
so, this movie. oh, how i love Jaws. i love the characters, i love the shark (Bruce <3), i love the fact it's inherently anti-capitalist, and have i mentioned i love the characters? this movie truly deserves the title of "first summer blockbuster."
some may have a debate as to how much of a "horror" movie Jaws is. i have very strong opinions on this. i believe this is, at its core, one of the first widely recognized Creature Features. it is a horror movie because the focus of it is the fact that the shark is killing people. as opposed to Jurassic Park (which, fun fact, has the same composer as Jaws), where the main focus is the wonder of the dinosaurs, and less the actual horror of them v. humans.
the opening scene of this movie immediately sets you up for what's to come. there's a bonfire on the beach. couple runs off to go swimming. woman goes in, man passes out on shore. woman gets attacked and killed while in the water. end scene. at this point, if you're going in completely blind, you're unaware of what it was that killed the woman in the water, but you've probably been exposed to Jaws enough in pop culture to know what the movie is about, plus all the posters include the shark in them, so. not as big of a shock.
then, after, we are introduced to Chief Brodie, his wife Ellen, and their two sons. Brodie is our central character throughout the movie, he is the one who's perspective we follow, and he is solid as the lead. he feels like an actual character who cares about the residents of the town of Amity.
and see, that's the biggest thing with this movie: all of the characters feel like someone who could actually exist. everyone's met someone like Brodie at some point in their lives, or they eventually will. you all will meet people such as Quint, or Hooper, or even the mayor of Amity.
speaking of that Mayor, he feels like a much more relevant character now, in today's political climate. what he really cares about is the economy, and so when Brodie and Hendricks find the woman washed up ashore and Brodie wants to close the beaches, the Mayor refuses. he convinces Brodie to go back on his word, keep the beaches open, but that's what results in poor Alex Kintner getting killed the day after. that sounds a lot like those in power now, focused more on making a profit than the safety of their residents.
there is a town meeting after the death of Alex Kintner, where it's revealed that his mother put a $3k bounty on the shark that killed her son. the town is full of fishermen, so they are, expectantly, jumping over one another to catch that shark. what is less ideal for the residents of Amity is the shut down of the beach until said shark is caught. in the town meeting, we are introduced to Quint, another one of our main guys. he is an expert in the shark-hunting industry (later in the film, we see his trophy collection), but his demand of $10k to catch the shark falls on deaf ears.
the movie truly picks up after that event, after the town meeting where the Mayor and Chief Brodie finally shut the beaches down. this is when the shark hunts begin, and when we are introduced to Matt Hooper, the oceanographer called in to Amity. a shark is caught, and the greater public believes that this is the correct shark. Hooper believes different. the shark caught is a tiger shark, and Hooper says that the bite radius is too small to cause the damage done to Chrissy. the mayor chooses to ignore this and reopen the beaches anyways.
after the disaster that is the Fourth of July, the mayor decides to finally enlist the help of Quint, who was shown in the town meeting. he wanted $10k to hunt the shark down, which was originally declined, but after yet another attack it was deemed necessary. Brodie and Hooper go with Quint on his boat (which, in my opinion, was one loose screw away from sinking, shark or not.) Brodie, unlike the other two men, is not fond of the water.
the shark hunt between these three men is the entire second half of the film. we see the shark, here, as well. despite being the main “villain” of this film, the actual puppet is only in around 4 minutes, and is shown for the first time over halfway through the film. the way that Spielberg is able to build such an iconic antagonist, despite the lack of screentime, cements him as a master of his craft. the score, of course, is also iconic (thanks, John Williams). it's no wonder that this movie is considered a staple of horror.
the bonding between Brodie, Hooper, and Quint on the boat is a great example of how to write compelling characters who don't feel watered down when not doing the “bam! pow! boom!” parts of the film. they feel like people, with Hooper and Quint comparing scars with each other, Quint's impactful monologue about the fate of the crew of the SS Indianapolis, the shanties sung while, unbeknownst to the three men, the shark is breaking the boat, all makes these characters feel less like actors playing a role, and more like real people.
Quint's death in this film is one of the few deaths in film that made me feel actually upset. he's built up as this veteran who lost his friends and crew in World War II, and since then, had been hunting the same creatures that had taken those close to him, so thematically, death by shark is appropriate as his sendoff. Brodie and Hooper survive, though, and the final shot of the film as credits role is the beach shore, as the two men swim onto land.
how do i feel about Jaws, though? as a horror film, it feeds into the fears of what might be in the water. watching this movie as a kid made me scared to swim in lakes for the longest time, because i was young and didn't know that in Ontario, there are little to no sharks in the lakes large enough to eat a person. for entertainment value, this film is a solid 7/10. for people with low attention spans, this movie may feel like much longer than the 130 minutes it is, but in my opinion, it still keeps you sat and ready throughout. scare factor? this rates at a 9/10. the shark, despite not being very seen, is an ever present threat up until Brodie explodes it. it leaves you anticipating whenever there are people in the water, wondering if, when, and who the shark will attack.
trigger warning wise, obviously underwater horror. the main threat is a shark, so if you are afraid of sharks, this may be a no for you. there is child death, and there is heavily implied off-screen animal death. there is loud noises in the film, specifically when the shark attacks people and the music crescendos (crescendo: progressively gets louder in volume) (see, i took a music class).
Candyman (1992) got added to Netflix recently, and much like any other horror fan, i adore Tony Todd, so that may be the next film i look at. if not, though, a little birdie did ask me to watch Saw (2004), so stay tuned.
as always, requests are open for future movies to review. now, though, you can actually submit movies, because little old me forgot to enable an ask box. use that to demand i watch certain films, and i'll probably listen.
urban legends are old. they're meant to scare, to be told around campfires and make everyone just a bit more wary in the dark. an infamous one is, of course, Bloody Mary. Light some candles, turn the lights off in your bathroom, spin while saying "Bloody Mary" 3 times and she'll appear in your mirror. at least, that's the version i grew up hearing. what she does after she's conjured varies dependent on where you hear the legend from. she may be benevolent, or she may be malicious. she may tell you your future, or steal your soul, or curse you, or strangle you to death. the urban legend featured in the movie Candyman (1992), of the same name, isn't as everchanging as Bloody Mary: you say his name 5 times in the mirror, he comes and kills you with his hook. or, in poor Helen's case, he makes you seem insane to everybody around you, so that you die and join him forever.
i first watched Candyman when i was twelve. i wasn't as big of a horror fan back then compared to now, and i wasn't as aware of sociopolitical issues as i am now. despite the movie being first and foremost a horror, it also has immense commentary on the state of Black neighborhoods in big city America.
Candyman (or Daniel Robitaille, before he became Candyman), was hunted and killed by a racist mob after falling in love with a white woman and getting her pregnant. he had his hand severed, was coated in honey, and was killed via bees, before the mob then burned his body. the Candyman moniker comes from the fact he was smeared with honey (which, i still don't really understand, but we ball.)
this movie, to me, feels akin to a dark romance novel if it was more realistic. instead of the female lead becoming infatuated by the love interest to the point of near condoning his awful actions, Helen is very much tormented by Candyman the entire movie until she feels that she genuinely has nobody in her life left to care about her. at the end of the movie she's left burning in a bonfire because the people of Cabrini Greene believe that she kidnapped the baby of another woman (who, fun fact, is the star of the most recent Candyman (2021). you go, Anthony!). although, at the very end, she did get a somewhat "happy ending"; that being becoming a legend akin to Candyman, and getting revenge on her cheating ass husband. you go Helen.
Tony Todd was also phenomenal as Candyman. everyone in this movie (to me at least) gave a standout performance, but Tony Todd really brought this movie to life for me. he brings life to the role i believe nobody else can. he's what sold me on this movie, and it was my first exposure to him (as this was before i watched Final Destination, which he also sold). Virginia Madsen was brilliant as Helen, and plays the sympathetic heroine beautifully.
not to mention the special effects work-- the hookhand looks delightfully gruesome, and none of the deaths leave room for improvement effects-wise. very few 90s horror movies ive seen have had this impact on me while watching, as somebody who looks out for practical effects work in any movie, but horror especially.
this review is a lot shorter than my previous ones, but that is because i genuinely want everybody who sees this to watch this movie if they haven't yet, and to rewatch if they have. every time i see this movie, something else finds a way to surprise me. this is a solid 8/10 film in terms of entertainment, brought down only because now that i am older i'm not as big of a fan of supernatural horror movies. this movie relies more on tension building than actual in-your-face scares, but even despite that the film earns a 7/10 for scare value. the way Candyman hypnotizes Helen throughout the movie is enough to make my skin crawl, not to mention the bees. eugh, the bees.
trigger warning: bugs. so many bees in that one scene. oh god. there is also a dog death, and i believe the corpse is shown fully. Helen gets hypnotized at several points in the movie. nobody believes what Helen says about Candyman and they all think she's crazy. Helen and Candyman are both set on fire at the end of the movie. Candyman is also told to have died due to lynching spurred by racism. Also, there is a retelling of a boy that had his genitals forcibly removed by Candyman.
i have a special review on it's way, in honour of pride month (it's actually several mini-reviews. i believe there are nine), so, be on the lookout. until then, requests are open for movies, as always.
