#horror review

[hellboundhorrormovielover]

utterly obsessed with this midsommar review

[sam-keeper]

Horror Review: Vampyros Lesbos

Vampyros Lesbos is so good it makes me want to revisit Daughters of Darkness in case I undervalued that film. Well, ok, good-asterisk. Good with caveats. What I really mean is that this film, also from renowned schlock and exploitation director Jesús Franco, is mesmerizing, is great to look at, has a bunch of lesbian sex, and that lesbian sex, unlike in the soft-focus Daughters, is actually a lot of fun to look at, and all that... is sometimes exactly what I want. (Also, since I don't have anywhere else in the review to mention it, it has a psychedelic freakout score that sounds like Saucerful of Secrets era Pink Floyd, and sometimes that's also exactly what I want.)

Vampyros Lesbos opens with a burlesque sequence in which one woman (in fact, the lesbian vampire of the title) does a strip tease while another woman stands motionless, nude. She is playing a mannequin on stage, and as the first woman strips down she drapes her clothes on the mannequin, then dresses her in her own lingerie. The mannequin seems to come haltingly to life to embrace her owner, and the two end the performance entangled on the stage floor, the mannequin still in a stiff rigid pose. The film cuts throughout this to a woman in the audience who watches the performance exactly as transfixed as I was. The performance repeats later in the film, which feels like a deliberate attempt to pad out a pretty thin plot to an 89 minute run time, but which I was fine with for two reasons. First, I am a lesbian, and this is very hot lesbian soft core pornography. Second, at the end of the repeated performance the vampire rips into the throat of her co-star on stage, to the applause of an oblivious audience. It's a great trick, one that either inspired Anne Rice's Theatre des Vampires, or at least emerged out of the convergent evolution of gothic perversity.

Most of Vampyros Lesbos's most brilliant ideas come hand in hand with a frank mercenary desire to show softcore lesbianism. Like, these are sun-friendly Mediterranean vampires who live by the seaside, which is really convenient for a scene where the vampire Nadine Carody coaxes the protagonist Linda to bathe naked with her. The psychic connection between Nadine and her victims allows for extensive scenes of sexual half-nude writhing in an asylum cell for the character Agra--like Linda, a blond woman, causing me to think the two were the same character for, like, 20 minutes. What I'm saying is, the film is perfectly willing to abandon narrative clarity for the cool shots and heady eroticism it's actually interested in.

To an extent this naked intent even has a nasty underside: lesbian sex might be presented for enjoyment, as long as the lesbians come to ruin at the end and safe heterosexuality reasserts itself. God, I've got it on in the background as I write this and a doctor just did a "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!" and smacked a woman having a fit. I'm not gonna defend this film as a bastion of progressive gender relations. I came to this via a sadly removed video from Hazel's youtube channel that recommended several of these lesbian vampire sexploitation films, and like her I have to stress that enjoying this film means suspending judgment of its reactionary gender politics in the name of sensual pleasure.

I wouldn't say it's purely unintellectual pleasure, though. This is another film that transposes gothic castles for gothic modernist mansions full of abstract expressionist art, for one thing. There's these tantalizing bits and pieces, like the recurring b roll of scorpions, butterfly symbolism, a servant named "Morpho" who wears large tinted bug-eye glasses... I don't expect it'd hold up to much scrutiny but it's got a heady surrealist intuition for slamming novel images together. I want a horny trans lesbian to remake this film. The People's Vampyros Lesbos, you know? I Saw The Vampyros Lesbos Glow. I suppose this puts it in the category of a film that mostly makes me fantasize about a different, better movie, but that's a fair sight better than fantasizing about the point in the future when the film will finally be over. Mostly I'm grateful I got to fantasize about being a hot sun-kissed lesbian vampire's living mannequin, and you can't say that about many other movies.

Halloween is just a state of mind, and I'll still be doing more reviews of horror movies that I watched this October--a lot of which you probably won't see talked about anywhere else--as we close out the year, so follow along in my horror tag here. If this piece helped you appreciate art more deeply, consider following me on patreon, adding me to your rss reader, and tipping me.

[charlottethelizardqueen]

Just rewatched Skinamarink and I need to yap about it.

So, like, still the scariest movie I’ve ever seen. Scared the shit out of me.

I got a lot more out of it this time, plot/theme wise. I got a sense of “house is not a home” from it. Like, it felt like it was about growing up in a household that’s not so much abusive as it is distant. It felt cold. Un-lived-in. Liminal. Like a reconstruction of a residence. The only place that ever felt lived in was the living room, where Kevin and Kaylee slept and had their Legos. A house that’s not a home, not because it’s malicious, but because it simply lacks warmth.

The entity, though - very much malicious. It sort of had two separate, almost conflicting vibes, though.

Like, sometimes it felt like it was distantly malevolent. There were times where it felt like this ever-present malice. It took away the doors and windows and the toilet, but it never actually did anything to the kids directly, not when it was acting like this.

Other times, it felt like a kid. It stole Kevin and Kaylee’s toys. It wanted to play with them, then hurt them. It was more intimately cruel (if that’s even the right term?). It acted like a cruel child.

The only thing sort of consistent about it was that it kind of was the dark the constant shadows were the entity. It couldn’t do anything to the kids directly, until it beckoned them upstairs or into the basement - where there wasn’t any (or as much) light.

Just, man, I love this movie. It taps into that primal part of your brain. It takes advantage of instinctive pattern recognition and makes you see things. It makes you feel childhood fear. It makes you feel actually scared. Not startled or disturbed or what have you - scared.

Watching it was kind of like an attention span reset. It was a kind of detox. I checked my phone maybe twice, only to see what notifications were. Aside from that? My eyes were glued to the screen.

I was close to tears. From eye strain or terror, I don’t know.

Please watch this movie. Watch it in the dark, alone, with no distractions. Give this film your entire attention. Even if you’ve already seen it and didn’t care for it, give it another shot. Let it consume you for that 100 minutes.

[thominospizza]

Backrooms: The Best They Could Do // A Review

Going in, I thought there was little-to-no chance that I was going to like this movie and in so small part to the fact that I feel as though ideas and concepts (as well as video games) that do not really have a fleshed out protagonist or a need for one. Cinema needs to have one in order for it to be a movie so the protagonist in said movies just feel tacked-on and unnecessary.

People say it's good though but I've heard that this week once before already...

The following blogpost will be discussing the plot, I will warn you for spoilers when we get there.

Everywhere at the End of Time - Stage 6 by The Caretaker, Artwork by Ivan Seal

(Author's Note: This is my second time writing this after about 3,000 words-worth of what I thought was some of the best work I had ever done went up in flames thanks to Tumblr's autosave system. I had to write absolutely everything from scratch even though the blogpost was already in the queue. I won't bore you with the details but if you're reading this, thinking "Hm, this kinda sucks". Blame Tumblr.)

Initial Perception of "The Backrooms" and Other Liminal Concepts

Let's just get how I feel about the internet phenomenon out of the way first and foremost.

I do really enjoy the notion of being trapped between worlds with the feeling that you cannot get out no matter how hard you try. What is captured in Satoshi Kon's Millennium Actress, Perfect Blue and Paprika where lines are blurred between the real reality and how reality is twisted what some people believe reality is. The interest in what are called "Liminal Spaces" is typically guided by an idea of a memory that may not be reliable;- a vision of the past that feels real even if it's not. The uncanny ambiguity is what excites me personally.

What must be said is that we are currently living through an interesting artistic phase where, as a result of uniformity forced upon us by corporations in favour of what is algorithmically satisfactory, younger people are rejecting the boring UI on all modern mobile phones and the Microsoft-derived acid white web designs. They're right too because they have been bought up into a generation without any style in their tech which is all they know. I can't blame them for being fascinated by aesthetics presented in Analogue Horrors and Frutiger Aero.

I think that's worth applauding because I don't think my generation knew what it had growing up and we've been steadily assimilated into all phones, websites, application and architecture all looking the same. It's not just an online phenomenon either. The movie theatre for this screening was PACKED with zoomers and teenagers and me and my friend - at the ripe old age of 27 - were the oldest people in there.

"Old Windows Media Player" - taken from r/Nostalgia

Whilst I enjoy the uncanny visions of memories you aren't sure you had in the first place, I find myself put off by all surrounding nonsense packaged in with the "Backrooms" creepypasta. I don't really need to know all the levels, all the entities or any of the business to do with the hazmat suit guys because I feel like it's got nothing to do with why the Backrooms as an idea is interesting in the first place. The regurgitated maze of forgotten props of yesteryear with no escape is why I like it. If the long thin robot creature has a name, I don't know it.

For me, the want to add to the sprawling empty space with a monster that chases you gilds the lily. The horror of nothingness as you wonder through a photograph in your mind is unsettling in a unique way that feels new and fresh.

This is what was worrying me about the movie. The needle could either lean into all the insane and bewildering lore that all the kids are experts in or flick the other way into extreme pretension as it had every chance in the world of trying to become an arthouse movie. The middle is the sweet spot and did it achieve it?

Let's find out.

Making a Universe a Doll's House: The Skeleton of "Backrooms"

A depiction of a Liminal Space, posted to r/LiminalSpaces by Independent_Army_886

I was scared for the movie at the prologue because I worried that it was going to be all shot through an old camera in a mock found footage style with all the lore from the YouTube series which I feel would become exhausting. To draw a line under it now, all the things that I was worried about, it didn't really do.

Whilst I always have a gripe about faulty representations of the past - a farce that is extremely rife in the age of Stranger Things - a pass for Backrooms has to be given. The production has license to make mistakes or be inaccurate on the grounds that the Backrooms centres around uncanny memories. They have creative freedom here to paint their own pictures.

It must be mentioned that it's an absolutely gorgeously shot movie with a great deal of wideness incorporated to accentuate how small humans are in a world around them that is swallowing them whole. The effectiveness of doing a lot of wide shots like this creates this universe where it's hard to imagine what's outside the window of the screen. Big or small, you're only really shown about four rooms in the real world and the spaces between that could be infinite or nothing;- just like a liminal space.

The original image of the "Backrooms" from a 4chan greentext story.

Despite reminding me of Koyaanisqatsi on multiple occasions, the movie never felt pretentious or that it was trying too hard to be clever. Unbelievably, they write a commercial into the narrative for a self-help book about "looking through a new window" and it was not annoying. It sounds like the most intellectually masturbatory idea ever to put something like that into a movie about false perceptions but it worked so well because of the storyboard.

I find "dream-like" or "dreamy" or any other adjacent term to be nebulous and meaningless but how each scene flows into the next with interspersed narrative dialogue connecting one room to another and shots of the world is definitely "dream-like".

I'm too eager to discuss the plot now so let's just get on with it.

The X Axis - This sections discusses the plot so it will contain spoilers.

Chiwetel Ejiofor is Clark.

Clark owns a failing furniture store despite being a qualified architect and is undergoing therapy with Dr Mary Kline (Renate Reinsve) because his life and his marriage is falling apart due to his alcoholism and anger management issues. The classic fiasco of men pretending they have too much work to do at the office but just don't want to come home and face the music. It's even more depressing when detailed in a roleplaying scenario with the therapist that he stopped off "for a few beers" when he is shown to be actually laid up in a bed for sale at the store.

He is also suffering with breaker issues which was actually fairly common at the time due to electricity improperly wired due to rushed construction and less knowledge about how to actually wire a property. Compared to nowadays where people think it's like, a ghost or something when their lights flicker on and off. I like that this is just irritating to him when he's trying to watch television.

Clark is made aware of some extra, mysterious switches that don't appear to do anything but upon trying them one night, he notices a small slit of light in the corner of the basement area that he falls through and here we go, baby. We're in Backrooms town now.

I have to say it doesn't look half-bad. It was a worrying thought that, to see actual human beings wondering around in an environment that is at least partially made in Blender, would be a hard watch. This particular screenshot doesn't really do it justice but it was the absolute best that I could find, I assure you.

Clark is actively inspired by this world and not really all that terrified because he is interested in the architecture. For the first time in a long time, he is inspired by something and has a purpose. When he explores and escapes and comes back to tell the doctor about it, his mood is so different that it causes actual concern. A real, believable and logical reaction. Thank you, movie.

Clark enlists his only two employees (Finn Bennett and Lukita Maxwell) to investigate the realm and you are shown the rope in his bag so... you know it's coming. If you haven't seen Twilight Zone or the Treehouse of Horror spoof segment "Homer3", you at least have seen a single thing made after that which also references it.

I can't really do it justice. The rope moment can only be enjoyed with your eyes and ears but it is done so fantastically well and, for much treaded ground, it feels like a contemporary set-piece.

There are beings in here but at this point, you don't actually get a look at them. You are left with the trail of blood of someone dragged too far away and the team are split up. In a very small matter of time, all three of them are presumed dead from what was captured on the video camera. Found footage is a genre that's died a death but when used sparingly like it was here, it was very much welcome. Mechanically, it is a very good way to create panic because of how erratic the visuals and audio can be through old systems.

Mary arrives at Clark's old store after hearing a voicemail from him saying that he no longer needs her services. At the time, it's unclear when or how he sent this but I'm pretty sure the implication is that he has been taking trips backwards and forwards and is possibly leading something of a double life. But the movie wants you to think that this wasn't really him who sent the voicemail and that Dr. Mary Kline is walking into a trap.

Now, I thought for a moment that everybody's "Backrooms" would be different because there was no furniture when Mary stepped through the gap in reality but I think I am just wrong about that. I'm thinking that it's like Persona or something when it isn't.

She finds some scribblings on the wall that appear to resonate with her and I should say at this point that her story has taken something of a backseat in the underline. You see a lot of dreams and visions of memories of when she was a child, dealing with a paranoid and abusive mother. You get to see another memory in just a second but Clark finds her almost instantly even though we saw him pass through multiple hallways and corridors.

I like this because it shows that if Clark is inspired by something, he can actually apply himself. It makes sense that a qualified architect would look to become master of this realm. Clark lulls her into a false sense of security and chokes her out, lending credence to the dangling carrot that Clark could've been replaced or modified in some way. There's something so unequivocally malicious about attacking the one human in life who is dedicated to helping you.

Mary Kline as a child sees herself as an old woman in a wheelchair who is non-communicative as she is wheeled away. Now, I can't lie. I did wince and pinch my eyes when I heard the music from Everywhere at the End of Time by The Caretaker playing because I was hoping for less references like this in the movie. It comes across as pandering but honestly, upon reflection, this was fine. It was pretty much the only reference like this at the online culture and it suited the moment, ultimately.

But what I'm most interested in is the existential fear of hereditary mental illness that isn't repackaged biologically but passed down traumatically. I like the suggestion here - that is qualified in the next scene - that there's an unavoidable pain in life where trying to repair people can just end in a losing effort. There's only so much you can do and it hurts when it's impossible.

Mary Kline wakes up in an American dining room set that is presumably analogous to Clark's home. I was in two minds about this scene so let me explain.

At first glance, I thought the decision to turn Clark into a bad guy in this moment was weak and lazy. His villainy comes across as cartoonish and Arkham-like as he shoves knives through the dolls and mannequins because they can't feel pain which, Clark sees an improvement. However, I empathize with the need for direction here. If Clark and Mary were to team up and run away from a greater evil or something along those lines, it would be even more lazy and a much worse movie.

Clark forces Mary into a roleplay exercise when he scalps a model of what you have to assume is his wife - but that doesn't necessarily have to be the case - and puts the wig on Mary so she better fits the role. Mary rejects going along with this and tells Clark that his problem is himself and he has an inability to come to terms with that. She says if he doesn't want to change then he can stay exactly where he is.

There's a dark truth in this scene. Most people agree that therapy is a good thing but it's not a one size fits all. People with narcissism - like Clark - are difficult to help because society doesn't really treat them as people with disorders or problems. The reason Clark loves this place so much is because it's still and unhuman and nobody can blame him for anything or talk back to him. When he gets told that he doesn't have to change, it's the best day of his life because he doesn't have to have guilt to run away from.

I can see people perceiving this as being 'anti-therapy' but honestly, I think it proves the opposite. Dr. Mary Kline gives him permission to fully detach from reality and he if that's what he really wants then he has to be replaced by Captain Clark from the other side. In a few moments, he pays for this desire with his life in exchange for a unhuman version of himself that the rest of the world sees.

I had something way better written here in the original draft so just imagine I said something more intelligent.

The chase between Captain Clark's live mannequin and Mary is superbly tense. Reminiscent of Kane Parsons' The Oldest View (A project that I've always said is his best work), claustrophobia clashing with agoraphobia makes the chase scenes way better than just having a fast and invincible being always behind you. The biggest enemy in these moments is the natural fear embedded in fallible humans and that is bought to the fore wonderfully with tight hallways and big falls. I enjoyed this very much.

She winds up in the facsimile of Clark's furniture store and is forced to face the creature in it's own domain. I think it's interesting that Clark's replacement is still intent on killing her despite being told that she's no longer a threat. It tells us that Clark's "ideal" version of himself would hurt people even if there was no consequence or benefit of any description.

Eventually, when cornered, Mary beats Captain Clark to death with a concrete mould of her hand that she always keeps with her. A fake representation of her hand from her past that may or may not even be hers. It could've been anyone's hand she found on that construction site.

As she overcomes the Captain, Mary has no other choice but this tiny gap between walls. Mary is eventually accosted by the hazmat suitguys from YouTube Shorts and if my heart wasn't already in my mouth, it definitely was now because I felt like I was about to be fed baby food.

They bring her to an interview room and it's unclear as to whether or not this is in the real world and the doctor interviewing her will not give her a straight answer. This is apparently huge fanservice for the lore of The Backrooms but I don't know anything about that so to me, this is just an ending. The only negative feedback I know about this is that the two teenagers sat next to me were murmuring something about "the ending with ASYNC felt rushed".

Either way, I enjoyed this a lot because it felt like cosmic horror. The world is all-consuming, inescapable and nobody knows how it works, including the top people who are tasked with finding out. After not being told as to whether or not she'll be allowed to leave, the voice of the doctor fades out into complete silence as Mary is faced with a confinement that haunted her childhood. You are shown shots of crude recreations of images you have already seen in the real world before settling on a skeletal outline of the scene before in the same room with no details. It closes with showing that the Mary in this room is a fake one.

This might make a lot of young people mad but I utterly despised what I like to call the "Ending Explained" culture that is so prevalent online these days. I don't like how interpretation of art has been twisted into one person's declaration of opinion, packaged as fact, so people can have a definite answer. Instead of accepting when something is not clear by design. You completely destroy the point of art when you desire one true answer. Whilst English Literature is supposed to teach you how to interpret art with your active imagination, somewhere along the line, it has become a picking-and-choosing exercise.

To turn a negative into a positive, at least in this instance, that the ending of Backrooms is actually thought-provoking. I like that your perception is tested to see what and who you truly recognize.

The Y Axis

An image of a hospital hallway, posted to r/LiminalSpaces by GlitteringLeading336

Whilst it's easy for me to look down upon fans of "Theory" YouTube channels, it's impossible for me to decry this new art movement that we are living through that's been started by the generation after mine. We are living through an age where we have become jaded by the lack of artistry in our day-to-day lives and the collective human brain has become the perfect nest for generative AI to lay it's eggs. No-one pays attentions to details anymore and so, a new predator has entered our ecosystem to feed on your parents' wilting minds.

A few years ago, the family dog died and, outside of my sister and I, nobody took any pictures of her. I often think about if literally nobody thought to save any snaps. We would have to rely on our own memories; a spine-chilling prospect. As we get older, remembering becomes harder and how long would it be before there was no way to picture her.

If you take away nothing else, remember to take pictures of your loved ones, your friends and family, your dogs and cats, even old buildings in your area. One day that building is going to get knocked down or collapse of it's own accord. It was probably built by a poorly paid builder and designed by an architect who was really proud of what they had accomplished. One day, you'll return to your hometown and say to someone "Do you remember what was there before?" and they'll say no because they were born 20 years after you were.

Failing that, take a picture of natural beauty if you ever see it before they turn a bed of roses into a McDonald's Drive-Thru. Not many people think about when the world around them is going to disappear and change until it does and then they can't imagine a world before it.

The Z Axis

Rockingham Road Odeon Cinema, 1965 (Before it was changed into a furniture shop, funnily enough)

Companies behind generative AI is counting on us not paying attention to the little things and to no longer value the humanity of expression and emotion and you cannot let them win. This movie could not have arrived on our screens at a better time. It's the perfect commentary. A horror that's built on a fear we never knew we had: a fear of a dwindling past. We're always hanging on and it's a constant battle to live in a dull, black-and-white reality to fight and change into something way more inspiring and fruitful for our hearts and minds.

To draw a less flowery conclusion, I was pleasantly surprised by this film.

Yes, I am forced to agree with the multitude of mainstream outlets who have praised this movie as an unexpected treat and I have no choice but to hand it to Kane Parsons, Will Soodik and the rest of the production staff. They exceeded expectations against impossible odds with a target audience that is way more discerning than people (including me) give them credit for. Backrooms was excellently shot, performed and illustrated with simple, but effective direction. In simple words, that's all you want and need from a movie of this calibre.

After the movies I've seen recently, I have been craving a decent art-style with no jumpscares or any other stupid horror tropes. I think it is going to be a real privilege for us to see the evolution of Kane Parsons in real time. I have faith in this new, uncanny brand of horror from the new generation and long may it continue.

8.2/10

( Author's Note: I want to thank you for reading this far and apologize because you will never get to read what I had originally typed up. I suppose it is only fitting that I was tasked with attempting to recapture my thoughts from less than 24 hours ago and with diminishing returns. I am still grateful if you liked it though :D )

[alexielnight]

Spoiler-free review

Fresh out of the cinema and honestly: I liked Evil Dead Burn.

Yes, it’s darker than the previous entries, but that was completely fine with me. At 111 minutes, it’s pretty long for an Evil Dead movie, but it didn’t drag at all. I was entertained and pretty much got what I came for.

The story works perfectly fine for the franchise. Sure, our favorite book could have used a little more screen time, but you can’t have everything. At least it’s set in a remote, run-down house again, and that always fits this series.

They packed a lot into the subplots this time: domestic violence, toxic family dynamics, dementia. It’s a lot to take in for an Evil Dead flick, but it actually gives the main character way more depth than what we’re used to in this series.

I loved the Deadites in the first three quarters. Great, creepy stuff, exactly what I wanted. Toward the end, though, the CGI got a bit heavy-handed. It lost some of its grit and impact there.

As for the acting, it’s solid. Souheila Yacoub actually annoyed me a bit at first, but once the movie explored her detached attitude after her husband’s death, I totally got it and connected with her character. I already liked Hunter Doohan in Wednesday, and he delivers here too. The rest of the cast was perfectly fine.

And yeah, it’s brutal. Definitely. But it never felt unwatchable. There’s an animal death scene, for example, where the camera doesn’t fully stay on it, and other intense moments get blurry or grainy. You still see enough, but it doesn’t feel like the movie is milking every detail just for shock value.

What really felt out of place was the Deadite kiss. Not because it was gross, it just didn’t fit the tone at all. On the flip side, there’s a neat little running gag throughout the film that worked pretty well.

In the end, Evil Dead Burn isn’t flawless, but it’s a really good entry. Darker, more serious, less playful, but I had a blast.

One last tip: I also really liked the end credits track, so I’ll drop the link below. And make sure to stay seated until the very end. It’s worth it 😉

[underthefleapit]

Frankenstein (1910) - Review

I review the first cinematic adaptation of Mary Shelley's classic novel, Frankenstein, as directed by J. Searle Dawley.

[sweetums0kitty]

Haiiiii I just got back from watching Pitfall it’s an amazing movie, I need Lars biblically as he would say. Here’s my Letterboxd review if yall wanna read it

A ★★★★★ review of Pitfall (2026)

Worst camping trip ever, I’m starting to think that going and doing anything with Richard Harmon is a bad idea. He’s part of the worst group

Also hi check out how greasy he is. Please go see this in theaters, everyone is amazing in the film.