There may come a day, as I say, when you have cause to sing this song. I hope that that day never comes. At the same time, I know that it will. Let’s not kid each other: you’re going to have a very bad relationship some day. It’s not just gonna suck—it’s gonna suck ass. You’re going to make up a little chart of all the asses that it sucks. There will be an ass chart on your bedroom wall. Your significant other will say “What is this?" and you will say, “Oh, there's butts... Just butts.” And she will say “The hell they are! That’s an ass chart!” Where will you be then, oh sinner? As the great worm that never dies curls its slimy folds around your naked heart, you will need a song to sing. This is that song.
Shouts out to homegirl Valerie and the rest of the crew in that turntable.fm room for introducing me to what is perhaps the greatest intro to "No Children" ever to leave JD's lips.
(Apologies to anyone who follows me based on hip-hop or metal, but I'm seeing the Mountain Goats for the fourth time this year in 3 days and I still feel like the "oh shit" at :21 in this version of Houseguest every time I think about it.)