TW
It's so weird how you think you're okay and completely over your depression, and then slowly it starts creeping out again. And you're always stuck in this limbo of "am I having a rough time? Or am I falling again?" And then you notice the little warning signs, the insomnia, the unexplainable aches, the bone deep weariness, the too loud laugh, trying too hard smile. And some pet of your brain signals a warning, "hey maybe take it easier", but you blatantly disregard it until it's 11 PM and all you want to do is revert to harmful coping methods and you're trying so hard not to undo your progress. Idk it's like you're better but you'll never be completely healed. Maybe it's just me, but I constantly fear when my depression will make a reappearance. And this year is already so difficult, I don't want to be bad again but I feel myself slipping and I can't stop.
