#k.s.a.

[i-szeth]

if i read excerpts of heart breaks written over a millenia ago will i be comforted with the fact that someone is able to overcome such unbearable pain

[i-szeth]

now i understand,

i understand now how love can mess you up real good

i understand now

how badly it will hurt, if you tell someone you love to break it up with you because you were too afraid he would kill you even if he said he wouldn't because you know you'll forgive him again and again until you're no more

oh how maddening, to live with the thought of what you both could've been, that thinking about him makes you wanna kill yourself

[i-szeth]

the worst kind of torture is your brain creating these wild scenarios about a person you've been meaning to forget everytime you sleep

[i-szeth]

i wanna do it so badly, disappear

with no intention of being found

nor going back

tell me

why does it feel too comfortable in this vast space of isolation

it doesn't hurt me thinking that I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life

maybe that's why

i crave death more than anyone i know

[i-szeth]

i have the absolute worst trait which is always having a halfhearted decision because two seconds later I'll come back begging the gods to please cancel my choice

[i-szeth]

she's silent about it all

she suffers without anyone knowing

they ask questions, throw accusations

but all of them are only adding to the injury

she wonders how long can she keep holding them all like it's a promised secret

she wonders how long till the content of the box slips out spilling only darkness

[i-szeth]

i feel like ive been robbed off 7 years worth of happiness

[i-szeth]

knowing not one soul on earth cares deeply about you is so awful I'd rather just die