#kae's rambles

[incorrectlyspn]

ao3 being down during the final 12 hours before my essay submission feels like a divine intervention at this point

[shedreamsandwishes]

It's 5am, I should be asleep but this wanted OUT. So, I'll leave you with a little thought.

It is BNHA, set in post-canon au, in which Izuku never lost his powers and has climbed to the number one spot.

He's a young man. He's famous, stepping out of his home without proper thought into his outfit will lead to him surrounded by a crowd of people wanting his signature/picture. He loves being a hero and saving people. But the fame is something he could do without.

He can't shop peacefully. He can't just go for a stroll. He can't just date whoever he wants. He can't head to a bar and pick up people like he did when he'd just graduated from UA. And it's frustrating.

He's pent up.

He needs to either throw someone around or be thrown.

And this is where his fan boy skills come in clutch once again.

Izuku loves heroes. He always has, but when he turned five, and six, and seven, and still remained quirkless- the same people who used to coo at his dream of being a hero could only look at him with pity. Pity so deep small Izuku would be tempted to gouge their eyes out because he'd soon face reality, according to them.

But Izuku loved heroes. More so than others. He collected their figurines, their signatures, their merch, their interviews, their training plans, their- you get the point, don't you? Izuku collected any thing hero, basically.

The day he found the existence of cosplay was a monumental day in his life. Izuku could not only support his heroes but he could BE them. And so he threw himself into learning how to sew, how to apply makeup and wigs. How to look like someone not him. And for one day, for a few hours, he wasn't Deku, he wasn't his Mom's helpless little baby Izuku.

No.

He was only one of thousands of people milling the convention. He gushed over heroes, he connected with people, they gave him advice, and he shared cool facts they hadn't known.

Izuku is, at last, just Izuku.

And he loves it.

His makeup becomes on point. His wigs look so much more realistic. He starts to love making clothes.

And he even briefly dreams of opening his own clothing store. Selling only costumes and altering services.

He dreams.

He wishes.

Of course, fate doesn't agree with him and throws a wrench in his life just when he's started to smile again.

And then, Bakugo tells him to jump off the roof- the Sludge villain forces itself into his throat- he almost dies- All Might saves him-and proceeds to shatter that tightly held dream he had

(yeah, a lot happens)

The one he hadn't mentioned in years.

He stomps all over it and leaves him on a high roof.

Izuku then saves Bakugo, because how else do you thank your bully by jumping into reckless situations for them? (yes, my darling is aware he has a confusing jumble of feelings for his old childhood friend)

All Might then finds him and offers him his quirk.

And wasn't that what he wanted all his life whatofhisclothingshop?

And suddenly, quietly, his dream to sew and share the joys of cosplaying with others disappears like it was never there. His sewing machine is put into a box and shoved under his bed, along with his wigs, his costumes, and his makeup bags.

All shoved out of his sight. And therefore, out of mind.

And so years later, as he climbs up the ranks, each rise, each speech of thanks he gives at a podium, he begins to hate the attention of the press more and more. Izuku is a hero, first and foremost. He saves people, he argues with his assistant.

"Did All Might being on TV not assure you?"

Izuku can't even disagree with that.

He stumbles upon those old boxes in his apartment one morning.

He's off that day, as ordered by his assistant. No, of course he isn't sulking about! He's home, alone, with nowhere to be and no one to see because his friends are working like he was supposed to be.

And the idea swirls around his brain for a few hours, he mulls it over. A cheeky grin slides onto his face, his assistant said Izuku couldn't cause any scandals, he just...needs to not be Izuku.

He loves it.

He used to be good at cosplay, there's no way he couldn't pick it up again, right?

Hours pass, and in front of his mirror, sits a black-haired man. His face is void of freckles, and his eyes are a honey-brown. He has a slightly broader nose, lower cheekbones, and earrings on.

He heads out that night not as Izuku but as Isamu-kun.... Take that, Kento-san!

And it's like this that he meets Touya.

[mochilattae]

I just started watching Crash Landing On You and they better not end this with the two of them splitting up forever into their respective countries

Or I better be getting a season 2 out of this

[incorrectlyspn]

you can leave now, cas // go away hollander // where the hell have you been? // what do you want with me rozanov // i've tried to talk to you, you just don't want to hear it // you haven't texted me in months // I'm not exactly a role model. that's not true // i don't know that side of you at all // for the first time I feel // i love her, but // i'm glad you're here man // i'm glad you're here // we're making it up as we go // you really think that far ahead hollander? // since when do we get what we deserve // you don't like me. yes i do // i need you // i need you // i need to say something // why are you telling me this // don't do this cas // don't hollander // what about all of this is real // this is real right? // we are // not like i love you // ya tebya lyublyu // i love you // i love you too

[incorrectlyspn]

I fear I, too, have been ensnared by the gay hockey show

[incorrectlyspn]

a friend recently messaged me saying, "everytime I hear this song, I think of you".

I had never mentioned this song to her, and we've shared written letters with music recommendations for literal years. But this song was a song I held so deeply to my heart 5 years ago; it was one of my most-played songs, and I never mentioned it to anyone.

and yet, she knew me well enough that when it randomly popped up on Spotify shuffle, she thought of me.

maybe to be loved is to be known

[incorrectlyspn]

UK celebrity traitors are playing that bloody carry on my wayward son cover, and I literally flinched at hearing it

Join me on my journey of unsolicited exposure therapy

[incorrectlyspn]

my coworkers are talking about the latest episodes of the boys and I'm trying to navigate the careful fact that I have technically shipped two of the actors (AS CHARACTERS) together for nearly a decade

... like I cannot be normal about it