An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Well, I've just gone and closed the KAJtober collection. A huge round of applause to everyone who posted their works, and an extra special thank you to the one and only @pykacolada for coming up with the idea and letting us all challenge ourselves a little and to see what we can create! This was a whole lot of fun.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Humorgruppen KAJ (Band)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Axel Åhman & Kevin Holmström & Jakob Norrgård
Characters: Kevin Holmström, Axel Åhman, Jakob Norrgård
Additional Tags: Mother hen Kevin Holmström, Male Friendship, performance anxiety, Nausea, Comfort, pykacolada's KAJtober 2025
Series: Part 11 of KAJtober 2025
Summary:
After a poorly slept night, Jakob is hit with some performance anxiety because of their gig later in the day. But he's got his friends and can always count on their help and support.
Characters and relationships: Jakob Norrgård/Kevin Holmström, Axel Åhman & Kevin Holmström & Jakob Norrgård
Tags: Crush, Young Kaj, Confessing Feelings, kind of coming out but it's not the main focus
Summary: Jakob understands that having a crush on a girl is normal.
Enjoy!
How to stop thinking about someone?
Jakob stared at the computer screen, the search engine's predictive search showed the question with a colour different from the other questions that popped up. Jakob paused, processing the information in front of him. Part of him knows that this is information that Kevin wants to keep hidden, that Jakob is possibly on the edge of invading his friend's privacy. Accidentally too.
Jakob shifts in Kevin's chair, discreetly glancing at Kevin who is sitting on his own bed, guitar on his lap, to see if he had noticed Jakob discovering his secret. But his friend's attention seems to be strictly on tuning the strings, the same notes playing in the air, soon changing into a background noise that Jakob doesn't register anymore as he watches Kevin with more interest. Jakob can't help the curiosity raising its head inside him.
Who is Kevin thinking about? Why does he want to stop thinking about them?
The new girl in their class. She must be this special someone. Now that Jakob thinks about it, Kevin has acted weird ever since her first day at school. That day she had introduced herself to the three of them and asked if she can hangout with them during recess. She had been nice. Very polite, talkative. She had laughed at all of Jakob's jokes, even the bad ones. Jakob had liked her immediately. But whenever she was with them, Kevin had been more quiet than usual. Jakob knows about his tendency of staying to himself around new people, but when he and Axel had included Kevin into the conversation, he had stammered, overexplained himself, adorably pink blush on his cheeks afterwards.
Jakob had understood his friend's feelings, and had decided not to tease him about them. And right now, laughing about his search history hadn't crossed his mind even once. He wanted to keep his secret hidden. He would keep observing Kevin, some other time Jakob could carefully ask about it. See if his friend wanted to talk. But not now.
Kevin's fingers glided on the guitar's neck, testing out the chords. His bangs rested on his forehead, partially hiding his eyes when he looked down. Kevin looked so peaceful there. Gently strumming the strings, completely in his own world. Just focusing on the music he created. Or he let his fingers play from habit and his mind was occupied with something else. Someone else.
Was he thinking about the girl? How her laugh rang in the air crisp and clear. Her smile always seemed to reach her eyes when Jakob looked at her. She is pretty too. She could be Kevin's type. Just then Jakob realizes that he has never asked what Kevin's type is, they haven't really talked about girls, their conversations always turning to music or their own lives and themselves. He pushes it to the back of his mind for when the right opportunity comes.
Then Kevin looks up, the music stops right away. Silently, Kevin meets Jakob's eyes, then at the screen of his computer, his mouth parting lightly before he turns to Jakob again.
Jakob had completely forgotten about the search until now. The truth that had been hidden was out now, unspoken between them. Jakob couldn't pretend that he hadn't seen it.
He opens his mouth to say something, he should apologize, say that he hadn't meant to look around like that. He stares at Kevin, both frozen in place.
"I'm sorry," Jakob says, the feeling of guilt gnawing on his tense insides. "I didn't mean to…"
Kevin lowers his head, his fingers nervously fidgeting together. Jakob hates that he has made Kevin so uncomfortable, and tries to think about ways to lighten the mood.
"Do you," he starts, trying to keep his voice as gentle as possible, close to a whisper," do you want to talk about it?"
Kevin raises his head, and unreadable expression on his face.
Jakob's own heart is beating fast as he waits for his friend's answer.
"You don't have to—"
"Yes."
They both say at the same time. Jakob gives him a small smile, which Kevin returns to him. Jakob takes that as a sign to continue forward. He walks the short distance to the bed and sits down next to Kevin who puts his guitar away. Jakob puts one leg under him and sets down to a comfortable position, facing Kevin.
"Are you thinking about her a lot?" Jakob can't help asking, the curiosity coming back and flooding his mind with questions, wanting to find an answer to every one of them, wanting to see what Kevin feels inside, see his thoughts and emotions as they are.
Kevin's smile grows softer at Jakob's question, and he nods shyly. A growing smile that reaches his blue eyes, crinkling the corners of his eyes. Jakob chuckles at that, enjoying to see how even a thought of her makes him immediately relax his shoulders. Jakob tilts his head, ready to hear more about it.
Kevin looks away, somewhere up, as if the memories were in the ceiling and he was watching them.
"She is…" he pauses, focusing on his memories, "she's funny. She always makes me laugh, and I keep thinking about the things she has said, going over them again and again until I feel like she would be here. Laughing with me."
A part of Jakob is trying to remember those times that Kevin is talking about without any result of actually being able to pinpoint those moments. For what he knows, Kevin has never been alone with the girl ever, she has always been with the other two around. But Jakob doesn't ask about it, because the other part is focusing on Kevin, how his body relaxes, leaning against his hands behind him, breathing steady, calm and safe.
Kevin looks down, down to Jakob's leg. He slowly moves his hand towards it, brushes his fingers against Jakob's knee. The touch makes Jakob's breath hitch, the contact bringing all of Jakob's attention to it, carefully waiting what Kevin is going to do next.
"Her touch," he continues, and shivers run down Jakob's spine. Because now he knows how her touch makes him feel, when he had given Jakob an example. Kevin's thumb caresses Jakob's skin through the fabric of his jeans again, and starts to speak.
"It sends sparks through me. Like a small lightning travelling through me. Sometimes when we walk and our hands brush, I intentionally do it again just to feel her close."
Jakob's mind floods with the many times the three have walked around the village, Axel on his left side, Kevin on his right. His and Kevin's hands have always touched together. More than once. Jakob smiles at it, imagining how it must feel for Kevin when his hand is replaced with the girl's hand.
Kevin takes his hand away, some tiny part in Jakob's brain starting to miss the gentle contact.
"She interrupts my every thought whenever I look at her."
That's when Kevin's eyes return to Jakob, and Jakob's heart skips a beat at the sight of him. Pupils wide, warmth colouring his cheeks, eyes so soft you'd think he was on the verge of slowly falling asleep. Jakob can feel the love that holds Kevin in its tight grip, and when Jakob smiles under Kevin's gaze, Kevin's own smile grows wider, comfortably showing his emotion without any restriction.
Kevin keeps staring at him, but Jakob doesn't mind it. He doesn't want to break whatever this is, allowing Kevin time to sort his thoughts. His thoughts that have been interrupted by her. Jakob wonders if he's picturing her in Jakob's place right now.
Kevin looks away, somewhere to the floor of his room. His smile slowly disappears, becoming more careful.
"It's scary," he lowers his voice, swallows, "It's scary how powerful this all feels." He breathes deeply, a heavy sigh escaping him, revealing the weight he is carrying inside. "No one has ever made me feel like this, and I don't think anyone else ever will. That's why I can't live without you." The last part is whispered in the air, a tinge of something bigger that the two can't understand fabricating his words.
Jakob sighs, mesmerized by Kevin and his words, his mouth parting slightly in awe of the atmosphere Kevin can create by only being himself. I can't live without you. Jakob pictures the girl—
The girl? Wait, you?
"Me?" Jakob blurts out without thinking.
Suddenly Kevin turns to him, startled, eyes wide. "What?" Kevin's breathless voice is weak.
Jakob's own heartbeat starts to quicken. Had he heard correctly?
"I mean—"
Jakob is interrupted by a door opening to Kevin's room, and soon Axel is in front of them carrying a grocery bag in his hand, while holding his jacket in the other, raising them both in the air.
"Who's ready for a movie night?" Axel asks, voice loud and full of enthusiasm that disappears as he sees the state of the two sitting on Kevin's bed. Both blushing, Kevin's face having a deeper red than Jakob's.
Axel's brows furrow immediately, and he lowers his hands, letting his jacket fall onto a nearby chair.
"Have you two been kissing?" Axel half laughs, not knowing that his attempt at telling a joke hits too close to the truth.
"No," Kevin answers with a speed that immediately makes them look guilty of it. His voice is rough, and he avoids making eye contact with either of his friends. He clears his throat. "No," he says again, louder.
Axel looks at Jakob, confusion showing on his face. Jakob can almost see how thoughts run inside Axel's head as he tries to understand what is going on.
"Well, it looks like you two have made out," Axel says, hesitating when Kevin groans, grabs a pillow from the bed and flops onto his back, hugging the pillow in front of his face to hide from the embarrassment.
Axel sets the grocery bag down to the floor, and takes a seat on the chair where Jakob had sat earlier.
Jakob notices how Kevin's fingers tighten around the pillow, his chest starting to rise faster with heavier breaths. Immediate worry floods Jakob's mind as he sees Kevin like this, uncomfortable and embarrassed. The fragile atmosphere from earlier has formed a crack to itself, some of it now trying to escape through it.
Jakob is about to ask Axel what they should do, but when he turns to him, his heart skips a beat when he sees Axel reading the secret on the screen of the computer. Axel's mouth parts open, a hum indicating that he has gotten the hang of the situation.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Axel asks, just like Jakob had done, and they both settle to wait for Kevin's answer that they both know might not come at all.
Kevin doesn't raise the pillow away from his face when a timid voice comes from under it.
"Yes."
A/N: I feel like I should explain some parts from this. The search, "How to stop thinking about someone?", it doesn't necessarily reveal that the one who searched it has a crush on someone. But from my own experience, if I saw that question I'd automatically think that they have a crush on someone, and I can't connect it to any other reason than that. (I know that this is a limited view, so I'd love to hear some thoughts about this!) So that's why Axel and Jakob both realize it from that one sentence.
And the part where Kevin was flustered around the new girl was because he saw himself in her. To Kevin it was clear that she had a crush on Jakob, and seeing her acting the same way Kevin did made him painfully aware of his own feelings. I couldn't translate that into this story with so little time as I wrote all of this today and also after having a longer break from writing!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Humorgruppen KAJ (Band)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Jakob Norrgård
Additional Tags: Post of Appreciation, I don't even know how to tag this, But thank you Jakob, pykacolada's KAJtober 2025
Series: Part 10 of KAJtober 2025
Summary:
She loved his smile that could brighten up any room. She was drawn to his eyes and how easy it was for him to laugh. He could turn a grey, rainy day into that of sunshine. He had made her cry.. but was also the reason for her smile and laughter. She cried while working on this little text. Because the words came straight from the heart. She just was a really emotional person, alright?
