Jul 27, 2015
[Text] They don't know you like I do.
[text] Well, congratulations, dumbass. Maybe Jake doesn’t have marshmallow wars with me or pet Darcy when he thinks I’m not looking, or let me have the last waffle when we get breakfast.[text] But at least he’s stopped mooning over the stupid Sudowoodo since we went off on our own which is more than I can say for your sorry ass and you haven’t even kissed her like he has.[text] So text me when you’re done whining about your lack of love life, until then Jake and I have evil thugs in tacky red jumpsuits to attend to.