sophrosynic partially inspired by your Mr. Brightside fic but mostly because iatethelastofthecorpse gives the best advice.
Karna looks up at the ceiling and sighs dramatically because he is incapable of doing anything without drama. “Am I terrible?”
“Yes,” Duryodhan agrees with as much compassion as he can muster up -- which isn't all that much -- and doesn't look up from his laptop. It’s two in the morning, he has a seven page paper due, and he really is not in the mood for Karna’s mid-twenties existential crisis.
“It’s just -- I feel like...there’s a shadow, you know?” Well, this is new. Not their average ‘Am I trash, why am I such trash’ conversation. “A shadow just, hovering over my shoulder and it doesn’t even have the decency to be black. It’s purple. It’s a fucking purple smoke shadow hovering over me all the damn time ever since -- And I shouldn’t even care, should I? This doesn’t really change things. I still think Arjun’s an obnoxious twat and Bheem still needs to learn that three cups of butter and sugar do not count as breakfast. All that’s really changed is that I have to cut out a chunk of my Friday night to go have dinner with them. That’s it. Right?”
Duryodhan doesn’t say anything, because he knows better. He continues to stare at his laptop and pretend that Heart of Darkness is in any way relevant to him. Who knew a book that tiny could take six hours to read? He sure fucking didn’t.
Karna continues on. “See, that’s what I thought. That nothing would really change, but Yudhishtir now wants me to pick him up after class and Nakul wants me to come to their Bharatnatyam classes, and Bheem actually gave me a laddoo from his plate the other day. Can you believe that?”
Duryodhan can’t, but he nods anyway.
“And Arjun. Fucking Arjun asked me if I could teach him how to fix the broken chair last weekend. He even listened to my instructions, man. Tell me you feel me on how weird this whole thing is.” He barrels on without waiting for Duryodhan to tell him that he does, in fact, feel him. “They’re all just so fucking earnest, is the thing. They’re all trying really hard, except maybe Sahdev, but he’s cool. I like the little squirt. So yeah, man, they’re all trying and there I am being a giant loser with my giant purple shadow and I...” Karna trails off, finally looking away from Duryodhan’s ceiling like it holds all the answers to life. Which sucks because now he’s looking at Duryodhan like he expects him to hold all the answers to life.
Like any good friend, Duryodhan breathes deeply before imparting deep wisdom. “Punch it in the face.”
There’s a moment of silence where Duryodhan wonders if that actually came out of his mouth. He rewinds the last three seconds and yep, yes, he did just say that.
Karna leans up on one elbow and gapes at him. “What.” His voice is flatter than Dhrishtadyumna's personality.
Might as well stick to his shitty advice now that it’s out there. “I think you should glare at the shadow and punch the grossness in the face.”
Eons seem to pass between the words leaving his mouth and Karna’s frame shuddering with badly concealed laughter.
Duryodhan rolls his eyes, tossing whatever is nearest at Karna’s head. His snowglobe keychain, it turns out. Of course, well coordinated asshole that he is, Karna catches it easily, and his laughter dissipates into something softer.
“That was...actually very helpful,” he says, twirling the keychain on his finger. “Thanks.”
Duryodhan ducks behind the laptop screen and mumbles. “Don’t mention it.”
“Shouldn’t you be doing homework?” Karna asks a few moments later, sounding much closer than before. Duryodhan startles upright and finds himself staring at Karna’s waist.
“Well,” he swallows with some effort and looks up at Karna’s face, making sure to keep his eyes up there. “I would, except my tutor isn’t really being very helpful.”
“What an asshole. You should get a new one.”
“Eh.” Duryodhan shrugs. “He’s tutoring me for free, you see.”
Karna’s eyes narrow dangerously. “Free? Since when?”
Duryodhan grins. “Well, turns out, he’s actually family and thinks it’s really wrong to cheat fam --”
He doesn’t get to finish the sentence before Karna is on him, wrestling him to the floor.