#kashhj

[kashhj]

Pass the waves

Well, what an embarrassing exchange.Days have gone, and you’re nowhere near, I thought we were something, nothing romantic But at least a smear connection of company, it turns out, not even that. I breathe because it’s ok. Yesterday was a week since I last smoked. The headaches exist, and I guess it was because I smoked a lot these past years – ever since I tried it.  I keep making excuses as…

[kashhj]

what you're doing wrong

Finally! Something to vomit.

When I left the drawing session, I had given up hope of hearing from you. It had been a week; I counted the days and hours. A tormented state, although the overbearing feeling subsided, I still caught myself holding my breath. I think it’s silly, and I tell myself this.  The raindrops hit hard on my umbrella. I wore a dress and sandals to walk the flooded floor with ease. I managed to get home…

[kashhj]

all or nothing

after leaving, i crawl back

What happened to the other things you dreamt about? Before starting this, I was kicking it with soberness  Now,The dance startsOf getting to know each other Finding our rhythm Holding close And trusting to follow With grace And Looking insideTo open the doors to Love Fall with courage And land supported  What more to ask of this?I’m not too sure I forget to get myself my timeMy present…

[kashhj]

Tears drop

This past month has garnered my need to smokeAbout a week ago, I met a guyI know other people might not record this encounter,Or maybe it’s a girl thing,Or perhaps it’s a feeling thing,The kind that makes you feel good, you can’t wait to spill it. He saw me, which is rare.It’s a lovely coincidence,Creating a big question mark. When losing thoughts, like catching a fish and watching it slip back…

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[kashhj]

Inside and Down

It's Sunday and things are funky

There are so many things I don’t knowIt is encouraging and hauntingI’ve stuck to things I know for so longIt gave me a home and a heartBut my mind craves for other surfaces,Textures, sounds, views I don’t think I have to flip myself upside downOr transform into something I’m notThe curiosity needs fireTo burn everything I care aboutThe ashes will sprinkle into new things The air I breathe might…

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[kashhj]

Conversations End

Making it to the surface

Instead of doing thatI am doing thisI lead with my emotions – It makes me think of Atlas ShruggedAnd well, I’m an idiot. I could focus on anything else,But doing anything elseWill bring back my thoughts to you And I must say,It kills me that I am my own poisonI cannot ask you to love this monsterI created in my head Shut the door but leave the window openTo glance at youBecause I want to…

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[kashhj]

Kiss the Emotion, Kill the Past

late thoughts past the month

This is the last time you get to call meTo say I held you backBecause I didn’t pull your hairYou kicked to stay I wonder what a few years can do to the mindNevermind that, it will probably stay the same That’s what I fear.Maybe that’s why I’m always trying to jump hoopsStaying still will kill meYet I’m so slow Remember, from a distance, you will never see the progressBut every breathing moment…

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[kashhj]

Managing drama

guao, I wrote something !

Is this a cry for help?The second line got lost. Saturday, I took acid that I bought fromA girl I met at the beach I wasn’t sure if she was with her boyfriendOr brotherI didn’t need to ask,But at a fair price, I gotWhat I had hoped for in a while And I think I’ve denied my sexualityAnd potentialI don’t know how to distribute my things. This summer, the heat is crazyI’m never ready to explore…

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