topic: ameriCAN revolution
today in kate's revisionist history: "The Statue of Liberty was the French equivalent of the Trojan Horse of the Revolutionary War. The French had stashed a whole bunch of troops inside to wait for the British to come and knock on the skirt on July 4th 1776 under the pretense of immigration. The whole plan was set in motion by Benedict Arnold who had recently deflected to the British and was leading their navy to the statue which was believed to be full of tea, a valuable British nutritional supplement. The tea had been attacked once before by the Native Americans in an attempt to steep the entire ocean in tea and thus make the drink available to the proletariat masses in the ultimate communist gesture, which is where the colloquial slur for communist sympathizers "tea party" originates from. The Statue of Liberty was an important territorial position as far back as when Christopher Columbus first encountered it in New York Harbor c. 1492 with his pilgrim army. At the time it was Americas' first corn silo. Anyhoo, back in 1776, the Americans knew Benedict Arnold would pull a Benedict Arnold and were waiting inside WITH the French and together they beat the British navy by dropping the torch onto their boats. Thus we renamed French Toast 'Freedom Toast' in honor of our Baguette wielding allies, and the British never ever never ever bothered the 50 states ever again. EVER. In fact they still have to give us a certain quota of Irish people every St. Patrick's day."