#katharzis

[blotspare]

@katharzis​

“You’re staring, Kaien.”  Their cheeks darken, and they’re not sure why they like that he’s staring.  They guess they’ve been staring at him, too.  They’re not sure why they’re doing that, either.  “Did you wanna ask me something?”

[vitaekin]

@katharzis​ liked!     /     KAIEN & JOCASTA!

“You have the spider’s web connection?”  The inquiry is completely nonsensical, though hopefully the phone she holds up is enough to imply that it’s inquiring about WIFI.  Cafés usually have internet, right!!  Yes.  They’re happy this one is still open, even with the sun down.  Jo could get a plan with unlimited data, but it can never convinced any phone helper person to stay on the line with it long enough to switch to said plan, and the others think it’s too funny to help them.  One of the voices plays : ATHENA’S SON, KNOWS THE BUILD OF YOU.  Another disagrees : ATHENA LEARNS, DOESN’T KNOW.  ISIS, MAYBE.  “Which god gives you sight?  Can it tell me the password to the web?”

[exceptone]

@katharzis​​ liked!     /     kaien!     /     headache by rigby.

“Don't say that I'm not like the others, 'cause I know that I'm so much worse.”

[blotspare]

@katharzis​ : ❝ i am always honest, maybe not always good, but i’m always honest. ❞ i can see i'll b seeing many kaien quotes in here prepare for it<3     /     accepting.

It’s been a hard day.  A hard week.  A hard — life, it sometimes feels like, for the both of them.  Yuu is skilled at seeing sunshine through rain, at finding reasons to smile, because anything less would have killed them with monstrous efficiency.  If they didn’t ignore the new bruises in favor of the sun, they’d have simply...they don’t like to think of it.  Yuu is good at staying sunny, because they had to be.  And because they were very lucky, ten good years to teach them how, countless beloved siblings and friends.  That the happy part of the story is bordered by misery is easy to forget, most days.  Not lately, though.

He’s tired, too; they can tell.  They could tell when they entered the dorm and saw him on the couch, limbs loose and exhausted, eyes trained on the ceiling as though waiting for something there to manifest, something that would give him a reason to do anything else.  Yuu had wordlessly sat beside him, tucked themselves under one of his arms that rested against the back, close to him.  Touch is hard for them, and it had been hard to do it, but Kaien is exhausted and hurting and so there hadn’t seemed to be anything else to offer.

They haven’t talked much, since Yuu came close.  Just sat, exhausted and miserable and touching one another.  A quiet word here there, a faint laugh when one said something funny.  But for the most part, it has just been a quiet kind of being - together that Yuu knows is important to him.  That’s important to them, too.

He says, after a long beat of quiet, “I am always honest.  Maybe not always good, but I’m always honest.”  Yuu doesn’t look up, but they do shift closer beside him, head resting on the juncture of his chest and shoulders.  Body screams / heart screams at the closeness that spells danger, but they decide to believe he’ll never hurt them, and for now it’s enough.

They say, voice very soft and very tired and very true, “I think you’re always good, too.”

[blotspare]

@katharzis : ❝ i expected you to have my back.  ❞ 

They gaze at him, eyes wide, chest still heaving ——— and then they LAUGH, bright, warm, flopping back onto the grass.  Arms splay out, palms open, as though they’re trying to take up as much room on the grass and in the world as they can.  Their head turns to look up at him where he sits, and the smile they show him is glowing, even if it does sort of hurt the bruises on their face.

“‘Course I would, idiot.  I’m your prefect.”

He laughs at that and lays down beside them.  He’s breathing hard, too.  Yuu’s grateful that they’re not the only one worn out by this fight.  There’s an ugly bruise around his eye.  “Don’t call me an idiot.”

“You’re the one who ran here to the mine the minute I told you about the monster Ace, Deuce and I fought here.”

“That doesn’t make —”

They extend an arm and flick his forehead; his shocked, offended expression has them dissolving into laughter once more, bruised arms wrapping around their stomach.  Through their laughter, the prefect gasps, “It makes you an idiot!”

He huffs, and glares at them, and they grin right back with tears still in their eyes — and he, after a moment, breaks, too.  And laughs.  Their laughter stretches on together, filling the warm night air.  Yuu thinks that the two sounds are pretty together.  They’ve never thought that about laughs before.

“I’m glad I came,” Yuu says, recovering their breath but still smiling.  “I’m glad you’re okay.  Once I realized where you ran off to, I was really scared.”  And that much is true, even if now, in the face of victory, that terror feels far away.  When they push themselves to sit up, they wince and then laugh at the pain that splays out from their bruised ribs.  “But I’m gonna feel that thing’s hits for a few days.”

“Me, too.”

“We get to suffer together, at least,” Yuu says, a hand pressing to the ground while the other pushes off their own knee to uncurl; they stand.  A little shakily, but they stand.  Like they always do.

I expected you to have my back.  The bruises are worth those words, easily.

“C’mon.  The sun’s rising — let’s get back.”  They hold a hand out to him; when he takes it and they pull him up to stand, they’re reminded of how much taller he is than them.  They look at him, a brow quirking, and that smile goes only a little teasing.  “You can rub it in my freshman buddies’ faces that you beat the mine monster.”

They realize, after a moment, that they haven’t let go of his hand.

Stranger yet, they don’t want to.

[ahlite-a]

@katharzis​ from ——— x.

“— But we’re not the wicked.”  It’s a gentle reminder.  They know he doesn’t always know how good he is.  “So we need to rest sometimes.”

[blotspare]

@katharzis : ❝ there ain’t no shame in looking for a better world. ❞ when yuus like they dont want 2 leave this place becos where they were fucking sucked<3     /     accepting.

They’d said, “It’ll be sad, when I have to go back.”

It will be more than that.  It will gut them — Yuu isn’t afraid, exactly, too accustomed to small deaths to fear another.  It will be more than sad, but there isn’t any word they have for the grief that floods them at the idea of returning to the world they left behind.  Worse, at leaving this one, and the incredible world they’ve discovered along with it.  And the incredible friends they’ve made along with it.

And him.  And him, maybe most of all.

He’d shifted where he sits beside them on their bed; Yuu had wanted to show him a new app they’d found and so he’d climbed up beside them, and the pair just hadn’t bothered to move after, even touch - averse Yuu growing more familiar with having him near than the opposite.  He’d shifted so their shoulders touched, and replied, “There ain’t no shame in looking for a better world.”

Yuu doesn’t look up from the hands that rest in their lap.  Kaien knows some of it.  The scars, the bad dreams.   He knows the place they left hurt them, and that they are happy here, for all that here has hurt them, too.  The prefect smiles a tired little thing, but there’s nothing there.

“I...um.  My — my family, my good one...my last good family, I did something really selfish, and hurt some of them badly because of it.”  It hadn’t felt selfish at the time, but maybe that’s all their saving others is; selfish, wanting to keep them.  Wanting not to be alone.  Yuu’s hands curl to fists in their lap.  “I don’t...I’m scared that if I stayed here, I’d hurt this family, too.”  Their short nails dig into their palms until skin breaks.  “I’d rather go back than risk that, you know?”

Kaien doesn’t say anything in response; just reaches out, gentle, and uncurls their hands.  Yuu doesn’t flinch, too tired to ache enough for fear.  When his hand curls around theirs and stays there, the smile gentles.  

They lean their head against his shoulder and try to memorize how it feels, so that they can keep that, at least, when they have to leave.

[tasaina]

@katharzis​ / hinata!

     “if mcdonalds unhealthy, why burger have lettuce?” he’s been plagued by this for days. but he eats his burger ANYWAYS.