#katiesmiserableatbest

[katiesmiserableatbest]

Darling anon speak to me.

[katiesmiserableatbest]

I can't save myself tonight darling. Lord bless this broken skin..

-Midnight screams

[katiesmiserableatbest]

Love is like being stuck on a deserted island, you build a fire every night in hopes a ship comes by to see it, every night and after so long you get tired of hoping, so you stop putting out the effort and there isn't a fire blazing when one faithful day the ship comes by, and because you stopped putting out effort. The ship just went on by without even noticing... When you stop trying and hoping and having faith in love, putting effort into love... Then it will never be noticed when it passes you by.

[katiesmiserableatbest]

But my heart feels so hopeless.. As these open wounds seep..

Nothing makes sense,  like when the vodka hits to far..  You get spinny in your head and everything.. Means nothing. Death is knocking hard against the window, I can hear its whisper dancing lustfully in the wind, and I am not quite sure who to answer to anymore? Do I tell you I need help.. Again. Do I give in the the sweet bloody call for the afterlife, a deep moaning in the darkest air in the middle of the night. Beautiful yet terrifying.  sinful yet lustful. Hopeful yet dark yet.. To stuck behind blind eyes to see the I am strong as well -Katiesmiserableatbest

[w4nksock]

katiesmiserableatbest replied to your photo: I just finished Two Towers and now I don’t know...

Agh to much adorableness.

omg what

[katiesmiserableatbest]

Don't be honest. Even though they tell you that they will be your shoulder to cry on, but when i call and hang up before you answer , it is because the urge to cut was stronger than the urge to admit I needed help.

They won't answer your messages, when you swallow your pride and tell him that it is to bad tonight. They will make excuses of sleeping early while you say its fine, again, and rub your fingers across the bloody wounds tracing your veins, and swallow more pills just to waste for time.

When they say you need more help, because "they love you but it's not enough to fix you." Don't believe that they are helping, They are quickly giving up and walking away from you. While you stand stunned a walking diagnosis..

They will declare depression as a label, you'll become nothing but your chart. A ghost like manilla folder filled with words from biased strangers. Your weight, your smiles, your dinner plate, the amount of break downs, that is all they notice once you are the therapist problem, and they take credit for your getting better. A constant surveillance video so they can play back your negative words to the doctor. and maybe get the better pills to make them all shut up.

Don't be fucking honest, nobody wants to deal with your problems. They just pretend the same way you pretend to be happy. You fake a smile so everyone thinks your stable, they pretend to care so from the outside they look like a hero.

C.B.D  

[katiesmiserableatbest]

Drown me out to sea burry the darkness behind my eyes, beg for smiles in the breeze while in my head I plan goodbye.

Katiesmiserableatbest

[katiesmiserableatbest]

I cannot bleed anymore                        The scars are just a storytale                         that all led to this messy grave

I have given everything I have                of all the times you looked the other way              and to much pretending I was perfect

I cannot go one more second                   and every fucking lie that gashed my heart             left me bleeding down my bedroom walls

                                                                        and my last gasping breath, was a scarlet sorry to you                                                   .cb.