Seeing the public reaction involving the P Diddy as well with hearing Cassie's Testimony. It made me realise how many of you who choose to victim-blame Cassie and find ways to look down on her rather than lifting her up. It made me realise that many of you share the same qualities as the abuser.
Whenever you read stories about domestic abuse and after you read the full detail on what the victim has gone through. Half of you's are empathetic, but the other half of you question the victim more than the abuser. Saying things like, "Why didn't you leave?". This is the most common question that victims will get in their lifetime. Why didn't she leave?
The answer is actually complicated, but it's also an in your face answer as well. Because If you spent hours listening to the victim's story, see the evidence and even hear the witnesses themselves, whether the witness may have witnessed it or the victim confided in them. If you still choose to ask the victim, 'Why didn't she leave?' Then it shows that you weren't paying attention.
The reason why I believe victim-blamers are abusers with or without knowing is that abusers will use this tactic to make people question the victim. We see this happened with Evan Johnson when Kayla Malec spoke about the abuse suffered. He mentions that if it was so bad, then why didn't she leave. He did this to discredit her as a victim.
Another thing that I notice that victim-blamers do is that they use mental illness as a way to make the victim look like a liar. I am going to confess that I have done this before with Timothy Heller and I realised how fucked up and insensitive it was to do so. I also believe Timothy Heller because I realise that Melanie Martinez never given me a reason to believe her.
During the Depp V Heard Trial, Depp hired a psychiatrist, Dr Shannon Curry, who only had a 12-hour session with Amber Heard. Dr Shannon Curry "diagnoses" Amber as having with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Abusers use this specific disorder as a tactic to make the victim look crazy. Without looking into detail involving BPD and why we shouldn't throw it around to claim a victim isn't a victim. Many of you would rather believe the abuser because deep down, you would say the same thing.
Another thing that could be seen as using abusive tactics is the media and Hollywood itself. Hollywood profits off victim's trauma by making miniseries or movies about their life. The many times I've heard a victim speak out about how they were never given permission or they deny this film about their life to happen. From Pamela Anderson to The Menendez Brothers.
Then, we have the media who play a part in exploiting the victim and their misery by mocking their trauma or spreading false information. This shows how only you have little care for the victim, but rather, they don't respect their consent. I know we talk about consent when it comes to sex or physical touch, but it also should be talked about how making film about somebody's trauma even though never ask nor did they agree with this.
The victim may have found a way to leave their abusers and make sure that the abuser had no contact with them. But you are writing those hateful comments, you making tik tok videos of you mocking somebody's rape testimony, you profiting off of someone's trauma. Through those actions, you are continuing the abuse that the abuser left off.
