shoutout to this weibo post for making me come back to this account and be horny again
listen, r1999 has got to be the most out there gacha games in terms of story and character art but they really hit the nail on the head with horropedia when it comes to catering to my tastes in men (nerd, brunette, loser)
cw: gn!reader, mutual masturbation, both are switch but reader is leaning top and horropedia is leaning sub, reader gets horny while listening to joshua mansplain horror movies thats literally the instigator, please use lube not spit when in real life sex
You tried to pay attention. You really did.
The horror movie that he picked up from the confines of his DVD collection was mid at best and absolute dog water at worst. With a 'horropedia' as your boyfriend, you gained a thing or two about criticizing horror movies. You two were barely 10 minutes into the movie when he began his usual spiel towards the cookie-cut introductory characters.
"Ah, despite the obvious modernized times, they're still following the same-old pattern movies back in the 70s did. How droll..."
"Eww what's with this crummy set?! Nightmare on Elm Street had better lighting than this!"
"Dear god, did you hear that?! This script is too cringey even for horror movie standards!"
... Is it possible to get horny just from hearing him complain?
God, even just watching his side profile as he talks is enough to set your heart pumping. You two were sat (well, he was sat) on his abhorrent yellow sofa chair, with you perched on his lap and legs haphazardly strewn across the armrest. No longer were you paying attention to the movie. Instead, your attention was honed in on his face; how the TV's glow made his warm brown eyes shine like stars, how it made a glare on his glasses that he kept pushing up (and it had no right being that hot), how it made his freckles stand out more that you want to kiss a path to form constellations.
Anything that he says after you blacked out is muddied. It was a sign that you had enough.
You leaned in closer to his neck, nosing against the expanse of freckled skin (yes he had freckles everywhere). The action didn't deter him from continuing his tirade and instead he curled his arm around your waist, hand patting your hip. While the gesture was sweet, it didn't help relieve the problem between your legs.
So you went through with your desire to kiss a path of constellations. Starting from the bottom area of his ear down to the crook of his neck. Each kiss left an incredibly cliche smack that you can't help but feel giddy about. It was there that you felt him react to your ministrations. His speech slowly died down as you felt his hand grip the meat of your hip.
You see his Adam's Apple bob up and down and you fought the urge to just bite it. He cleared his throat, the movie no longer at the forefront of his mind. "So this is that trope where the significant other usually instigates sexual intercourse while watching a movie?"
"Are you really gonna do your usual speech towards porn tropes?"
"Hey, I can't help to point out the obvious."
You rolled your eyes, can't believing that this guy was the love of your life. Instead of continuing your kisses, you nibbled right where his clavicle was jutting out from his worn shirt. The gasp he let out was nothing short of euphoric but it was ruined when he started yapping again.
"I must say, this is quite unlike you," he started but he egged you on further by smoothing his hand across the inside of your thighs, "has my usual semantics about horror movies flipped a switch inside you and made you a horndog just like the bimbos in those movies."
"Joshua," you seethed, and you were serious when you used his real name, "keep talking like that and I'm gonna wring you out until you can barely cum."
He gulped but with how his cock twitched beneath his pants betrayed how he would love the idea. "Alright alright, I'll shut up."
And to his credit, he was quiet. When you rucked his shirt upwards and his nipples out to the cold air, you leaned in and kissed one before taking it in your mouth. He keened, back concaving as his hand traveled further inward to your sex. With nimble fingers, he toyed with it above the material of your bottoms before you felt them move faster.
"Oh wow, you really got it bad for me, huh?" He remarked breathlessly, seeing you crumble from the ministrations. "Aren't you a precious little thing, getting off from hearing me talk all day?"
You lightly bit his nipple, relishing in his yelp before moving back up. "Joshua, I swear to god I'm going to leave you high and dry."
"You would never." He snorted. He then took his other hand and tried to shimmy your bottoms down. With your bottom half now out in the open, he raised his hand to your mouth. His lips quirked into a smirk when you let his ring and middle finger inside your mouth, suckling them just like how you did with his nipple. "You love me and my voice too much."
You internally seethed that he was right. Damn him and his stupid voice and his stupid tirade, he has such an immense hold on you that if you did follow through with your promise on leaving him dry, it would be you suffering the most.
"Alright, fine." You conceded after he retrieves his fingers from your mouth, glaring lightly at his smug face. "I love your voice and your stupid spiels. Happy?"
He let out a pleased huff. "I mean, I already knew all along, but it certainly is a boost to the ego when you confirm it for me."
Rolling your eyes, you kissed him fully on the lips for the first time this night. Your hand pinching and rolling his nipple while the other wrapped behind his neck and tugged on his low ponytail. You swallowed in his groan, his tongue swirling against yours. The fingers that you swallowed trailed down to your hole, toying at the entrance before slowly pushing inside.
Swearing, you parted from him, elated at the sight of him reddened and out of breath. You giggled at the trail of spit connecting your mouths before you broke it by leaning forward and kissing the freckles on his face. That was a surefire way of knocking him down a peg; how you show affection to, what he describes as 'An unsightly visual upon his face', his freckles was always your winning card.
You left a final kiss on his nose before leaning back. "I really do want to see you broken and crying, Joshua."
He moaned lightly, leaning down to your neck to hide his reddening face as his fingers curled inward. The moan you let out was pornographic but Joshua didn't point it out, clearly far gone into his pleasures. He mouthed along your neck. "Yeah? I'd be a liar if I said I didn't want to see you try your best."
You scoffed, gently prying his head away from your neck and staring straight into his eyes. Something hot curled inside you when you see how shiny his eyes became. "Keep talking and I'll make sure that you'll keep cumming until morning."
He whimpered at your words, his fingers faltering in pleasuring you. You cooed. "What's wrong, baby? Can't keep your mouth open for me?"
He shifted in his seat. During the whole time, you never removed his cock underneath his pants. The sizeable tent already sporting a dark patch. "N-No... I can do it."
"Good boy." You purred and you giggled at how he shivered at the praise. The hand on his chest moved down to his pajama bottoms, tugging them down as best as you could. He lifted himself from his seat, groaning in pain and relief at how his cock finally sprung free from his clothes as he threw his pants in a random corner of the room.
Joshua was always pretty. It was a shame everyone thinks he's 'unconventional' because he was such a chatterbox when him never shutting up was the most attractive thing ever. Screw them then, you think, as you stared reverently at his cock. It throbbed painfully against his stomach, the head flushed a pretty red just like his face as it curved slightly to the left. It was so perfect for you that you can't help but thank whatever deity made you meet Joshua.
"My pretty boy..." You breathed out. "Remember our deal, okay?"
He nodded wordlessly. Immediately, you wrapped your hand around his head, spreading the precum as your hand glides across his shaft. He let out a drawn-out moan, tilting his head back against the sofa chair as his fingers pumped in and out of your hole.
"F-Fuuuuck..." He keened, eyes glossed over with unshed tears. "Feels so good. The way you wrap your hand around me just right-ah!"
He jumped slightly when your other hand tugged his ponytail roughly, showing the expanse of his neck. You bit his Adam's Apple and you squeezed his fingers when you hear him cry out in pleasure. "Keep talking."
"Love how you mark me up...!" He continued. "Love how you make me yours. Love how you tease the h-ah, head of my cock before you rub it. Love how you twist your hand just right...!"
You let go of his skin after you fully blemished it red and stinging. "Yeah? You love it when I treat you like this, huh?"
He nodded against his hold. Your hand was already easily moving up and down his cock, making it easier for you to twist your wrist and quicken your pace. He bucked his hips upward, legs twitching from the stimulation. Of course, he made sure that you weren't the only one giving. He curled his fingers inwards, making you gasp out loud as his other hand inched down towards your most sensitive area.
"Mhm." He hummed, watching at how your back arced beautifully when he played with your most sensitive part. "Love how you react so prettily when I touch you like this. Almost like you were built for me-built for me to break and use over and over."
"Fuck, Joshua." You breathlessly giggled, letting go of his ponytail. "Wasn't expecting this out of you."
He chuckled softly, lightly bumping his forehead against yours. His glasses were completely askew across his nose bridge so you adjusted them for him. His eyes were unabashed in their affection, shining like twin diamonds. It was almost sickening how he looks at your with such hazily romantic reverence.
He smiled softly. "Love you."
You swallowed the lump forming in your throat before you pecked his lips. "Love you, too."
He hummed happily. "Love how you love me. Like I'm someone worth loving. Love it when you love me like this."
His speech was getting repetitive. His fingers going in and out of your hole at a faster rate as squelching noises permeated the room. Your hand squeezed his cock tighter, pumping up and down, begging for his cum to run down your hand so you can lick it all off.
"Fuck," he gasped out, mouth open as let out his grunts, "love you so much. Love you love you love you—"
"Give it to me, Joshua." You said, legs twitching at how fast he's playing with your sex. "Let go, pretty baby. I've got you."
He cried out, bucking his hips to meet your hand as you watched his cock spurt cum. "Fuck fuck fuck, oh god, I-hah!"
As his orgasm racked his body, you watched as he loses himself. The fingers inside you curled the right way before you came. His other hand toyed with your sex further until you cried out from the overstimulation. His cock shot his seed upwards, hitting you and Joshua. Some of it got onto Joshua's cheek so you leaned in and licked them off of him.
Heavy breathing was all that was heard in the room as you two cooled down from the session. After you cleaned his cheek, you laid down on his still-heaving chest. He leaned his on top of your head, arms wrapping around you and bringing you impossibly closer.
He breathed in and out, letting out chuckles underneath his breath. "So, you really like how I talk, eh?"
You groaned, burrowing your face further into his chest. "Don't remind me."
"You know I'm gonna never live it down, right?" He gloated, kissing the top of your head. "What a glorious feeling. To have my honey be so smitten with my voice."
"Dear god, what have I done."
He barked out a laugh, nuzzling you closer. He decided to stop for now, but he'll remember this moment whenever he hosts a horror movie review again.
Maybe being a chatterbox led to good things after all.












