Can't Find The Words....
The past few years have been so confusing and upside down. I began my journey as a homoflexable cismale. Then realized it was biromantic homosexual. But that still didn’t seem right. I through around pansexual and panromantic homosexual. Is Demipanromantic homosexual a thing? Now I’m stuck on gender. Some days being a boy is totally cool but others I feel really disphoric and hate be identified by my penis. I used to feel I was fluid because I enjoy femininity but after becoming a drag queen if feel as if it has made me more comfortable with my masculinity and that extreme femininity was for my alter ego Sophia. Most days I feel androgynously feminine with a dash of masculine, but I don’t know how to allow others to see that. Recently I came across the term Demigender but I can’t figure out if I feel more Demimale or Demilflux. Both seem to be close but I’m not sure where to go from there. I’ve been using They/Them pronouns lately and been noticing a significant boost in my mood when my gender isn’t assumed, but I still don’t mind He/Him most days. Then this leads to the question of how my gender effects my sexuality. I can make a romantic connects with any gender but most of my sexual desire is for males, but I can be sexually attracted to a person of romantic feelings if I grow to romantically love and trust them. So I guess the question is if I’m not as binary as I thought can I still identify as a homosexual? Is Demigender Panromantic Demipansexual Homosexual a thing? Any thoughts would be much appreciated. Love to you and good vibes from the Universe.
-------------- Mod matthew here! I noticed this is a fairly new blog, and you had this same post as the very first post. Making a blog for gender is always an interesting discovery and adventure! Thing is, u can have whatever labels u want, i personally find it comfortable to keep things simple. If u identify with those labels and they make sense to u, go for it. U can just say ur demi all around and skip explaining your life story to others if that makes u feel cozy and safe. Or you can keep the specifics and leave no room for question from others! Whatever works, u feel? You're coming off as very overwhelmed, so maybe simplifying it could help reduce stress. Identity should not provide stress!