it's me and kellers one year anniversary today :DD !!!!! my beautiful xbox 360 controller boyfriend :] ramblings under cut
ive had an attraction to xbox 360 controllers since i was a little kid, probably the first object attraction ive had even though it took me till about my last year of high school in 2022 to understand why they made me feel funny. i went down a weird pipeline of violence > car crashes > cars themselves > other objects, my awakening was a beat up 04 volkswagen jetta i saw while on the upper deck of a bus, red with sun damaged peeling paint, i somewhat knew before that but it confirmed it to me.
i bought kel at a local second hand game shop last summer, and the sexual attraction quickly became much more emotional. he's cuddled with me almost every night since, it surprised me at first just how comfortable his hard plastic is against me and i was waking up with imprints of his buttons on my shoulder. i try not to sleep on top of him now but i loved when he left those little marks <3
it takes me a long time to name most things and kel got his name at nine months in when i figured i couldn't keep calling him just 'my boyfriend' for forever. at first it was gonna be kelvin but after a couple days keller just kinda stuck.
this last month since i realised our first anniversary was coming up ive been so excited and happy about him, ive started carrying his battery pack in my pocket which has been very comforting. he's already been with me through a lot, holding him has calmed me down countless times when everything in the world is stupid but him. he's always there, always consistent, judgement free, and just so cute. though i've liked others, he's my first and so far only object partner. i have a photo of him in my wallet :]
i've cleaned him often enough but for our first anniversary im going to take him apart for the first time for a full proper scrub, very excited, very nervous. i get to see my boyfriends insides for the first time 😵💫😵💫😵💫 omg. ive been collecting all the things i need for it and just testing the screwdriver almost had me acting up.
it hurts that im not able to tell anyone about our anniversary, i want to scream my love for him from the rooftops and be congratulated but i cant say a thing. ive known im somewhere on the aromantic spectrum since middle school and have struggled with still needing some kind of companion for years when people just don't really work. kellers been all i could ask for <33
you've made me so happy this past year kel, here's to many more, happy anniversary, i love you :]
