-So- much has happened in the past week, where to begin?
I have completed my work with the Doctor, the strange multi-personalitied Priest who implanted gems along my palms, arms, and chest to act as a ward against the Shadow that has been tormenting me for months. The places where he pressed the gems in are rather sore and bruised, and hurt quite a bit, especially the one in between my eyebrows. I never realized how much I moved my face until this very moment. But, it is a necessary thing to prevent the Shadow from getting into my mind, or physically harming me. My temporary blindness due to its touch was a thoroughly frightening experience, one I wish I could purge from my memories entirely. I do what I must, but I fear that my Sagittarius will look at me differently. He understands my need to repel the Shadow, but at what point will I look more like an experiment of fear than a loving partner? And furthermore, when I go to Ahn'Qiraj in the coming days to confront and (hopefully) be rid of the Shadow entirely, will my Saggi' be willing to come along still? And assuming I am successful, what will become of me, now that I have built my body around protecting myself? My only option is to see how fate develops my future, I have no choice but to walk forwards and take things as they come, for better or worse.
I went to a wedding. My friend Centari and his wife Kelli' had the most beautiful ceremony in Moonglade, on a marble gazebo in the middle of a shimmering pool of water. It's been about 1 and 1/2 years since Thaladran left me at the alter, and while I no longer love him, seeing such a beautiful and happy couple committing themselves to each other really hit me hard. So much so that I literally cried throughout the service. It is beyond embarrassing... I just thank the Titans that Saggi' wasn't there to witness my emotional outburst, I would really hate for him to get the wrong idea. I love him dearly, but marriage is something to be considered at a later date, and even then, there are so many factors to consider... I will far outlive him. He is merely a Gilnean. Of course, that is assuming we last that long. But I digress.
Lastly, and most importantly, I have seen my sister at Centari's and Saggi's insistence. I wrote her a letter explaining that I won't bother to apologize, as the words would be wasted on her. Were it that easy, we'd be old friends again long ago. Instead, I offered to meet with her to show her that I had changed. I am no longer controlled by my desires and my addictions, and as far as she is to know, I am no longer a practicing Warlock. I am a simple alchemist in her eyes and that is how it will stay. The unfortunate death of her- our parents is in the past, and such circumstances are impossible now. During our brief, tense, and distinctly hopeful meeting in the Bazaar, Evarayn and I talked, and I explained all these things to her, and she listened carefully. I really wish we had been able to feel more comfortable around one another, but I'll have to take what I can get: a cold and hard exterior with brief flashes of a promising sisterhood. Seeing her face for the first time in so long reminded me of how much I truly miss her. I can only hope that she had a similar experience. We've arranged another meeting in about a week, both of us need time to think and process, but it seems we are both willing to try and that is the most important thing at this point.
I will write more later, but for now I have a gift to arrange for my sweetheart, as it is the Love Festival, and it's important to me that even though he is off working, Saggi' knows that I think of him.