Eurovision 2018: Pre-Show (#37)
BIGGER
The time has come, for UK to choose their champion for Tel Aviv, and to prove once again that their legacy of great music can be flushed down the toilet in a blink of a mudda fuckin’ eye. UK, now sashay away.
BIGGER
And i all comes down to Michael Rice, an X-Factor reject [yeah, I don’t see X-Factor in him either UK] and a winnah of All Together Now [yeah, I don’t know what it is either reader]. He also has a huge image problem, because who is Michael Rice? He owns a waffle house, so he like’s money and sweet things. So he’s typical bourgeois British capitalist? No? Oh, he looks like good British chap with weird haircut. So he’s “Jenny from the block”? He has selfie with whom?
BIGGER
Well UK, good fuckin luck with this two twats, you’re gonna need it. Something about the song? It’s stupid as fuck, yet another UK entry that can be summed up with “We don’t like Brexit either, hold on Europe, ol’ chap, we still love ya”, and it’s so boring after 3 consecutive years. Give us something good UK, you have so many talented singers, just pay Hurts some money, and they will gladly represent you, they’re good bois.
Qualification Odds: Well, they’re already in the Grand Finale, so...
BIGGER
Projected placement: Bottom 5 at the Grand Finale
Like, what did you expected, unless some wild romper room fuckery happen during both semis, UK is dead, nobody like them cause Brexit, people will vote for hot guys and gals first, they’ll vote for good music, and they won’t vote for UK, cause they had Kerrie-Anne with Tom Howard anthem, ugh.that.bitch.mind.LEGEND
Ranking so far: #41 - Czech ‘fckin’ Republic #40 - Hi Hungary, I’m your Dad #39 - Monte[bore me]negro #38 - Aus[nore]tria #37 - BIGGER UK BIGGER