Do I Really Look Like A Guy With A Plan?
Do I really look like a guy with a plan?
~ The Joker
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The title of this web site and blog, Deck Of 51, says a lot about the current ME and the recent changes in my life. If you did not know the reference, Deck Of 51, comes from a Statler Brothers’ song called, Flowers On The Wall.
We all get lost. We all wander off the path. We all lose our way. We all are sometimes one card short of a full deck (perhaps a few cards). I am there now. I am trying to reinvent myself and correct the aspects of my life that are not in harmony with who I am and who I wish to be.
Not going to give out much detail online, but… Today, I had my first session with a counselor. This was not my first meeting with this counselor, but, rather, my first meeting with any counselor. It was a humbling experience and very difficult for me. It was difficult to relate my story.
The past few weeks have been a very rough and emotional time for me personally and professionally. This has been a long time coming and, now, that it is here, I am faced with realities I know I need to deal with and resolve.
It is not going to be easy. In fact, I know it is going to be damn painful. I have already lost much of my former self along with something I truly loved. That said… Things can only get better from where I find myself.
Time and rediscovery of self are what I need. I was not the guy with a plan. I need to change that!! I need to be the guy with a plan. I need a plan. I do not want to be the Joker, continually chasing cars.
The amount of support I have received from friends in the last few weeks has both surprised and overwhelmed me. I have honestly been shocked, but so very thankful for the concern and outreach. Even more so… The desire to help me succeed with rebranding and growing my business has been truly enormous and so appreciative.
Thank you all for being there. Thank you all for the kind words about my images and writing. Thank you all for encouraging and pushing me to move forward with my creative efforts and projects.
A very special thanks to the following people: Mel, Christina, Phallon, Josh, Ryan, Sam, Julian, Evelin, Irish, and Renee. You all have been so wonderful and helpful while I endeavor to hold things together. You all are very dear to me. Thank you so very much!!
I will end this post by saying… I have no idea what the future holds for me. I know what I would like that future to be, but as I have recently been reminded… Expectations are not the same as goals. My plan needs to be focused on the present and my goals. All of my goals need to include a better me, a creative me, and a business and career that will allow me to be ME. The rest will follow.