Feb 19, 2020
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Self Knowledge: Kharma Kha
RATIONALITY
You like clarity and intelligent simplicity and you get frustrated at messy thinking. This can make you seem unreasonably pushy to some, but it is actually a virtue: you are motivated by a horror at pointless effort and a longing for precision and insight into how things and people work. Your ability to synthesize and bring order is essential in producing thinking which is truly helpful.
SHYNESS
Part of you is gripped by the fear that you’ll launch into something and completely mess it up. The upside of this is wise caution: people are indeed often too rash, whereas you know, by instinct, that holding back can save you. Probably, you feel shame and self-disgust a bit too much. But when you do feel in your element, you act with a wisdom and sensitivity never found in people with thicker skins.
RESILIENCE
You have a tendency, after a setback, to turn your emotions towards re-striving. What attracts you is the idea of wiping out a humiliation by resumed action – overcoming weakness, repressing your fear. Because part of your motive is pride, you can sometimes be unwilling to admit weakness or to receive aid. But at heart, tour insistence on coming back and never folding has taught you a valuable pessimism: you know that important journeys are never easy.
The Rationality and Resilience part I agree with 100%. The Shyness part is a bit.... different. She’s not afraid of messing up. She does not want to mess up and she identifies if she does in fact mess up, but she never wallows in fear of doing it again. There is no shame nor self-disgust on her part. She merely tries her best or not at all. if she cannot do something, it is because she does not want to and feels it is pointless for her to do. I’d say it more than often gets directed to the other two points than diverging into the shyness listed here. I liked this test though! It can be taken here!
Tagged by: No on, stole from @blacksnakeofkugane Tagging: @rexdraco, @kha-merc-ffxiv @tamer-of-steeds, @tahlani @kyren-ffxiv @jehannedelumiere @thesilentqalli & anyone else who wants to!
of Starlight
Traveling through Eorzea was done with a burdened heart, but at least it could beat easier now. The fight with Vakker did her well days ago. As much as sparring the Oronir would to wonders in directing her energy, it was not needed now. Kharma kept walking in the early morning. Gheita was apart from her at the time. It was her time. The time normally taken to be alone in the early morning. The air was crisp. So crisp that stepping outside and inhaling cut through thoughts, sentiments, and all momentum with how vibrant the air was. The scent of sea and pine was around her, sharp, distracting. Just what she needed. These moments were before dawn. Late for some, early for others. All of it strange, at least to one gazing at a pine decorated in lights and colors for a Starlight Festival. It was a moment of reprieve from her usual thoughts. However the urgency of the situation could not be shaken from her, no matter how much time there was going to be to wait. There was only one person she had yet to share her concern. One who would have known had situations not been different. Lifting a hand to her horn, Kharma spoke. "<♪They've been taken.♪>"
(Flashback based off RP with Manic. Thank you for the RP!)
Earlier that night...
"<♪Do you know anything of it?♪>" She asked, looking from the festive trees to the taller male again. "<All I am aware of is the holiday is supposed to represent togetherness, being with family and loved ones, Giving... though specifics I am not quite sure, there is a story behind it but I am not sure what it is,>” he said with a soft chuckle. Kharma Kha listened and looked around, moving closer to the wall which she leans on. "Family. Loved ones," she echoed in common. There is a somber note in her voice. "<♪They should be found by now.♪ This would be Kotogan's favorite holiday, I bet.♪>" Gheita Qerel stepped behind the woman he wrapped his arms around the shorter Xeala. He did not meet resistance this time. “<I am sure she would especially if we plan to stay here.>" The red one leaned back slightly. Eyes trying to get distracted by the lights before them in the center of the Mists. Her voice remained somewhat quiet. "<♪I cannot plan their future.♪ They are of Kha.♪ They are of Sacha.♪ We just need to make sure they are safe.♪ That they survive and thrive.♪ We can do no more for them.♪>" Her song betrayed more truth, but there was none around to hear the Qalli-born’s conflict. The conversation went on. At some point, he lifted her to sit facing him on the railing. Soft words were exchanged of the sea and steppes. Kharma kept her eyes on him a while, letting her hands rest on her knees while her fingers rested on his shirt. Gheita’s arms remained near her, always within sight even as she turned to face the celebration again. "<♪When we get them back,♪ we should help them have this holiday as we do.♪ Then we must truly find a tribe.♪ A home.♪.... Somewhere we can grow,♪>" She added, red eyes looking up into his again. A small slimmer of hope rested beneath her resolute gaze. “<We can make a home and our own tribe here,>" he replied reaching out to caress the woman’s cheek. “<That is however, you wish to start one along my side?>” Kharma Kha found herself leaning against his touch, eye closing for a few moments before her hand cupped the back of his on her cheek. Her honest answer did not come that night. It came after much talk and past many topics. They moved around the Mists, gathered information, debated with each other, sometimes even shared a chuckle. Bells past, and still the response was not given. It came after she basked in his familiarity from many moons and after she reflected on the many trials that they went through together. When he spoke of wanting to be bonded and when they spoke of how to handle the time between the next step to get her children back. "<♪What should we do until then?♪>" “<We could live... >" Gheita looked up to Kharma from his seat on the couch. "<Enjoy our stay here till we have a more permanent place of our very own,>" he wrapped Kharma around the waist and pulled her close. She allowed him to do this as well. Rare were the times she was most compliant. She did so this time, unable to describe how moved she was by the simple words. Her heart covered the many layers of emotions she felt. Her eyes shut, head tilting towards his, tears not shedding, she finally had a response. "<♪Okay.♪>"
Chance meeting with Khara, Yuki, Saeko, and the Maelstrom (again). (Better late than never! @kha-merc-ffxiv Thank you and the lovely ladies for the RP!!)
As she searched for her heart… As she stumbled upon her song… As she defeated her doubts… As she honored the dead... As she learned in the moment… …she lived a better existence.
What she realized moons ago is What she must remember now
When she sought her tribe... When she arrived in the Steppes... When she visited to Eorzea... When she felt her heart... When she fought to hear it... ...she willed a better existence.