Discover Top Posts Tagged with #kiev rambles

Hello people. How are we all doing?

You can probably infer from the radio silence that I’ve been a bit messed up during these trying times. It’s been A Thing. Amongst the contributory bullshit was a 'milestone' birthday, being made redundant, weight gain, joint pain, crap sleep hygiene and nutrition, creative brick walls, full-on midlife crisis, covid-enforced separation from some people I love and profound ongoing political despair - all incredibly interlinked, of course. It’s been a shitshow and I haven't approached it in a mature, constructive manner at all. I'm so fucking tired and I feel like the part of my life when I could turn corners and effect change is over and all that's left is to settle further into the mould I made, whether I like the shape of it or not. I know that’s not actually true but it's hard to think positive during a pandemic, especially when it feels like your country's being gleefully and deliberately driven off a cliff. I know I'm not alone with these feelings (and I do have support) but they're still awful.

I've been here, just lurking; you've all held me up from one time to another although I haven't felt able to participate and share (which is purely on me and my brain worms). I'm so glad you guys are all still here and posting, and I'm going to try and drag my soul and my voice out from under this shitty rock.

A few things that have lifted my spirits lately/fair warning:

- The Old Guard - Umbrella Academy Season 2 - Apparent new Leverage happening - Gayle 'was anyone going to tell me' dot gif - Re-reading all of the Vimes/City Watch Discworld books - Friends posting and yelling about fandoms - even when I can't speak, I love to see & hear it - The enduring majesty that is the Terror fandom - Writing, sometimes - The frankly awesome Hammer House thunderstorm that's been raging above my house for over an hour - weather, you're on-brand for 2020 tonight

Best wishes, thanks and hugs to everyone. This is the worst timeline and I guess we're the scrappy resistance movement.

#kiev rambles #it's taken me a while to post this #people sometimes talk about things that were triggers for a midlife crisis #it appears covid is that thing for me #and it's a plain ordinary crisis anyway so i get two for one yay #i mean i think i've been in a form of managed crisis for a while #the aura of a crisis?#and now it's kicking in #i believe a crisis is sometimes valid because sometimes we don't listen to ourselves until we're screaming #so i hold out hope that eventually i'll gather my shit together #ahem #covid #midlife #fandom #trying to relearn how to do presence #re-read some old tag rants and felt weird about it #anyway #hi #my nonsense: the adventure continues

Brb, just watching Tobias Menzies read ‘When You Are Old’ for the hundredth time. As I said to @blasted-heath, in my semi-absence from Tumblr and its Terror gifs I seem to have lost my built-up immunity to his face so I’m now crushing on him all over again, it is A Lot.

#kiev rambles #unfair surprise menzies feels #it shouldn't be allowed #i feel attacked #my fic #(sort of)#but look at the video though #it is Very Good #terror actor thirst squad represent

Hello. Still here. Lurking like a boss and hugely cheered by all your posts. Everything’s a bit nuts, isn’t it? Love to all. I’m having many fandom thoughts, and obviously many more weird current situation thoughts, but lacking the energy to get them all together just yet so this is me checking in with virtual hugs for everybody. Hold fast.

#kiev rambles #felt i ought to do some sort of 'ahoy' so #love you all

GUYS

HELLO

Just wanted to check in and wave weakly to say I’m still here and still a creature of this blue hellsite, it’s just been Some Kind Of Month here and all I’ve been good for is misery and lurking. I was just about holding my existential despair together when I got hit by a particularly virulent cold for 2 weeks that absolutely wiped me out and shredded my morale to the point of breaking. It wasn’t the dread virus - I wasn’t exposed or at risk and I was VERY vigilant about monitoring symptoms - it was just a really shitty old-school cold that turned me into a useless weepy potato for a fortnight. Much better now, for certain values of better - the world is still going straight to hell and I’m zithering between gallows humour and impotent rage on a daily basis, but I’m technically on my feet, so - yay?

The one silver lining was that I made a fuzzy kneejerk decision to drown my sorrows in random comics and wound up binge-reading all of Girl Genius in a week. All of it, the whole thing, eighteen damn years of it in one week, I AM FINE. I love it to bits, it is cracky and hilarious and heartwarming and twisty and trope-aware and steampunk to the max and the art is made of win. The Jägermonsters are my favourites and I’m adopting them all; I had no idea how much I needed those cheerful swashbuckling toothy dorks in my life but apparently here we are. And the comic updates like clockwork three times a week, win!

The only drawback is that I tend to imprint when I discover a comic and now everyone in my head looks like a Phil Foglio character, which is really a bit strange - he is a master of absurdly over-the-top elastic facial expressions and enormous WAIT WHAT NO eyes. (I keep imagining a comedy version of the Terror as drawn by Foglio and it would be amazing).

#hello it me #kiev rambles #girl genius #best medicine ever apparently #i did not know i needed epic steampunk crack #but here we are #escapism to the max i guess #everything is terrible but there are still comics #anyway hi

No joke, I’ve been on the Terror fix-it train for so long I genuinely forget what happened in canon, so when I see a sad canon gifset my first response is like ‘wow, RUDE photomanip op, why would you do this to me’ and then I remember and feel like a fool.

#the terror #kiev rambles #seriously though #whose funeral? i see no funerals here #except for that one guy's leg #they're all FINE #and MARRIED #(to each other)#for real though the gifset game in this fandom is knockout

Seriously though, we call this place the hellsite but it’s often a haven. The UK election lost me some faith in humanity but a carefully curated online space can go a long way towards getting it back.

I *really* need to catch up on my reblogs and either commenting fanfics or doing a huge rec post, too, because the Terror squad has been on fire lately and I love that we’re all still frozen in this sweet icy hell.

#kiev rambles #mumble delurking mumble #pffff my last post didn't go in the tags bc swearing #tumblr you fussy victorian spinster you

Writing is so weird. It’s only just hit me that, for all that I love the transformative aspect of fanworks, in my own personal fanfic I have an embedded ‘canon respect’ reflex - not so much an alignment with actual canon, but a need to have all my stories align together into their own singular canon. So many brilliant writers work with dozens of AUs or continuities all at once - one for every story, even - but I’ve just realised that, without me making a conscious choice, all but one of my Terror fics can theoretically exist in the same continuity and I’ve been making instinctive decisions in each one (whether it was meant to link up to another one or not) to avoid *ruling it out* of continuity with the others.

So, with the exception of The Last Man which I am painfully proud of but is a not-fix-it outlier, you could say there exists a Terror Kiev4am ‘verse that goes like this:

News From Nowhere

Sun Dogs

Stories Yet To Tell

Setting The Course

Idol Boast

Pilgrim Souls

Just putting it out there for anyone that likes continuities and ‘verses; if you want them to link up, they totally do.

#the terror #francis crozier #james fitzjames #fitzier #my fic #my writing #fanworks #kiev rambles #blather about my writing

Hi hello it’s the weekend, hope you’re all well and having a glass (or mug) of your preferred Friday this evening. The world’s going to hell in a larger-than-average handbasket but sometimes lurking on this hellsite is all that keeps me vaguely hopeful.