#kii talks

[kiirous]

Shipping can be hilarious. Sometimes, a ship can follow the exact fomular of what you usually like in a ship, but it simply won't click, while other times it will be the most random thing that doesn't make sense on any level that will get you.

[kiirous]

I was so excited to finally participate in ArtFight, but I ended up being too depressed to draw more than the three attacks I did in the beginning, and now it is almost over. That is unfortunate.

[kiirous]

I wish I felt like a person, but I don't even know what a person is supposed to be. I probably am a person, but I don't feel like it. Realistically speaking I am a human and a person per definition. It simply does not feel like it for reasons unknown. I don't even feel like I am real most of the time. Like I have been ripped from somewhere and glued between the pages of a world I do not belong in. It is weird. I rarely ever feel like I am really here. Even using my senses such as touch often feel disconnected. I feel the touch, but also only in a distant way somehow.

[kiirous]

The Hanahaki story is going well. It's too little Hanahaki, though, so I will have to add more scenes inbetween. Luckily, I am in the flow, so I can hopefully finish this story some time this week. No promises there as I still need to translate, and edit it after it's done. Kaito is going through it.

[kiirous]

Kaito did it again. He proclaimed his love for Shinichi, and how happy he is to have met him. He didn't think he could ever let the mask go again, but with Shinichi he feels freer than he has in a long while, but he totally isn't in love or anything, right? Such a dumbass.

It could be platonic. It would be interesting to tell of a story where the platonic love is just as strong as the romantic one (in my opinion a good romantic love also needs some platonic feelings to it, and generally speaking platonic love is just as important as romantic one), but that still is not enough to cure the hanahaki because the love is different. Kaito doesn't love Shinichi less than Shinichi does him. It's just different.

In this story that is not the case for they are both in love with each other. They are simply being dumb about it, and I have long given up on wrangling Kaito into the confines of the story. It could still be interesting, though...

[kiirous]

I got attacked on Art-Fight. Don't mind me jumping up and down the walls in joy.

[kiirous]

And Kaito continues to mess up. He for some reason decided to make a show out of it when he was asked who he was in love with. Instead of just saying that he doesn't love anyone romantically, which he was supposed to do, he went on a spiel of how he fell for Shinichi with descriptions of what he loves about Shinichi where Shinichi can hear it. Tehe, just kidding. He doesn't love anyone romantically!

Kaito, you can't do that. Shinichi is actively dying. What is wrong with you. He doesn't know, of course, but Kaito. He keeps taking away the script only to discard it. He laughs over the ashes of the burning script he set aflame.

[kiirous]

I'm writing a KaiShin fanfiction where Kaito and Shinichi are classmates, and Kaito for some reason sits on Shinichi's table despite them also being seat-neighbors when I got hit by the visual of Shinichi dropping his head on Kaito's lap to nap. This silences Kaito who was in the middle of telling a tale. Kaito looks surprised at Shinichi. His eyes soften, and then he pats Shinichi's hair while continuing his story with a lowered voice to not disturb him. They are not dating yet.

I probably won't do anything with this. Probably. Maybe. Not in this story, at least. Mayhaps a small comic can be drawn. I don't know yet.