Will you help me feel again?
Hopeless. He couldn't find another word. His hands were shaking and his mouth was dry. But none of that mattered. Usually he would cry. But it wasn't a normal situation. Instead of tears running from his eyes, he just stared emotionless into the fog. It was his fault. He knew that. Everything. It was always all his fault.
His empty eyes wandered around. They scanned the area around him. Broken. He felt broken. Slowly he went back to the campfire, maybe to find joy and his feelings again with his friends. Once he was there, nobody paid any attention to him. Only for a short moment his gaze wandered to Jake and immediately a pain stung his heart. But not as hard as expected. The sight of him didn't made him feel the butterflies in him as usually. No excitement inside and no feelings of happiness. He looked at his best friend and only felt a slight tug in his chest. Jake was just talking to Claudette about something and didn't seem to notice him.
He averted his gaze when he felt someone stare at him and he looked at the person. Nea walked straight to him. He knew that couldn't mean anything good and nervously stepped a bit back and forth until she came to a stop in front of him. He looked at her and waited and then she started to complain. "Tell me what can you actually do ??? Are you really that stupid or are you just pretending?" He lowered his head a little and all the survivors turned to him and he was terribly uncomfortable. Because he knew exactly what she meant.
"You don't deserve to be the leader because you don't seem to do anything right! It's your fault that almost all of us died! Can't you pay attention or are you incapable ?!" It went completely still and Dwight's eyes started to water. He knew it was his fault. He had given Myers the opportunity to stalk everyone and then brutally kill them. Just because he was distracted and not paying attention.
"You don't belong here! You always destroy everything anyway and are responsible for many many deaths!" That’s it. That was the part, that made his heart bleed. It always was his dream to lead a group and now he started to believing they were better without him. He wanted so badly to tell her what happened but it would only sound selfish anyway. He wanted to tell her what had distracted him so much. He wanted to tell her how he felt about Jake and that when he kissed Myers his world collapsed. His thoughts had been a big mess and he had betrayed his entire team on accident. But he couldn't tell her that. He would probably keep that to himself forever. Just like his feelings for his best friend.
A quick look at Jake managed to make things even worse, because he continued talking to Claudette as if nothing had happened. He didn't care. Dwight knew he didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve anyone to care about him. And yet he had hoped at least to be worth it for his best friend. His heart broke now completly if it had been held together with many problems until now.
His eyes filled with tears, he didn't answer Nea, who was waiting for an answer and Dwight ran away. He just kept running until he was deep in the woods, where no one could find him. The helplessness and hopelessness made the tears not stop flowing and he fell down on his knees. He wanted to scream out all his frustration, but just couldn't. After a while, the tears stopped and Dwight was overwhelmed by numbness and apathy. And his heart finally stopped aching.
"We'll continue later, Claudette," Jake said with a worried look on his face. Why was Nea putting Dwight down like that? They all made mistakes at times. "Yes, okay." "See you later," Jake said goodbye to the girl with a passion for plants and turned to Dwight. He only caught a glimpse of him, but it was enough to make the pain crawl through is entire body. He felt sick. Because he saw Dwight cry.
He saw tears flow down his cheeks and even if it was only for a second he saw the endless pain in his eyes. The pain he knew was going to destroy Dwight inside. Dwight was way to soft and he knew better than anyone how Dwight would be going to do things to himself. He always felt like he wasn't enough and Jake knew that. He knew how much Dwight wanted to be loved and cared about. And it broke his heart to know how Dwight thought about himself.
"Dwight wait!" he shouted when Dwight ran away crying. He noticed everyone staring after him and felt bad. Immediately he ran after his best friend, who either ignored him or didn't hear him. Dwight ran into the woods and Jake followed him. He didn't care about the looks of others. He wanted to comfort his best friend. The only person who really meant a lot to him. It hurt so bad to see him like that. "Dwight!" he called again, but there was no reaction. Jake was surprised to see that Dwight was way faster than usual. And after a short time he had lost sight of him.
But Jake refused to give up. He couldn't leave his best friend alone in a situation like this. However, even after over an hour of searching, he couldn't find his best friend. And he felt guilty. But he didn't care much more about it. Because now Dwight was alone, but he would come back when he was ready. And then Jake could take care of him. After all, he still had plenty of time for that. Right...?
Jake lay worried in his tent and stared at the free space next to him. They all had tents that they shared with someone. The Entity had been so "nice" to give them at least half a roof over their heads. Dwight still hadn't returned and Jake's mind didn't stop spinning. Had something happened to Dwight? Was he lost? Did he need help? The questions piled up and did not let go of him. He had looked for him again in the forest, but no trace of him.
There was hardly anyone interested. When he asked someone if they'd seen Dwight most of them didn't care or they shrugged, which was probably a no. Jake knew that Dwight hadn't been gone long enough for the others to worry about him. But it was Dwight. Whenever the nervous leader was alone he felt uncomfortable and Jake knew that. So why didn't he come back?
He sighed and tried to sleep, but couldn't sleep. Claudette was worried about Dwight too. The two were good friends too, and Jake was a little jealous at times. Just because he was gay didn't mean his best friend couldn't be into girls. Yet somehow he wanted Dwight's full attention. For the first time in his life he wanted to be close to someone. Otherwise he was always the lonely freak. The lone wolf who didn't need anyone with him and who didn't want anyone. When he got there and met Dwight, things had changed.
At first he had found his presence annoying. But over time he got more comfortable and now he even wanted him to be with him. He liked how the nervous leader kept trying to be around him. And because of him he had also learned that hugs can be a nice thing. It was Dwight who had given the lone wolf hope and courage. Dweet always looked out for him, even though Dwight was more the person who needed protection. Jake had to smile slightly and felt the need to pull the cute innocent man in his arms. And so he did. But he reached into emptiness.
Lonely. He never thought he hated loneliness so much. He never thought loneliness was a bad thing. Instead, he had always liked to be the loner. But now he didn't know what to do next. His dark exhausted eyes reflected his tiredness. He hadn't selpt in weeks... Or maybe days. Time had became irrelevant. Until he was back with his best friend, the rest was unimportant. Half the camp was worried now. The leader still hadn't returned.
There were some who said the Entity had sent Dwight home. Others said Dwight was somewhere in the woods and were looking for him. Some survivors then helped them search, but no result. It was like Dwight had been swallowed up by the ground. Had the Entity done something to him? Or just sent him home? As hard as he tried, the young man couldn't get Dwight out of the head.
He was worried about him. And most of all, he missed him. He missed to watch him biting his nails so nervously. He missed the way he kept looking around and smiling so happily when he saw Jake. He missed his hugs, his closeness, his smell. His eyes, his laughter and how the world seemed okay when he was around. But now he wasn't. And Jake just noticed it more. He missed everything about his best friend. He felt responsible and guilty. If he had taken care of his best friend, he would not be gone now. The Asian refused to give up. Dwight had to be somewhere, waiting for him to find him. And he would find him. He promised him silently.
His eyes wandered restlessly over the survivors who were sitting around him. Otherwise he was always calm, but now he rarely managed to find peace. David, Laurie, Feng and Nea were in a trial, but the rest of the survivors were around the campfire or in their tents. Jake saw Claudette, who was staring in a bad mood into the fire and warmed up. He knew that she missed Dwight a lot too. But he also knew that he missed Dwight most of all.
"Hey Jake?" Kate asked sensitively and sat down next to him. "Hm?" he made a short response without looking even looking at her. "He's been here the longest of all of us. I'm sure the Entity really sent him home, where he can now live happily." Jake nodded silently. He didn't believe the Entity would be so nice and just sent Survivor home again. And even if it did, it wouldn't be a good thing.
Jake knew how much Dwight had suffered. He had seen bullied and was never very popular. Neither in school nor in later life. He had a job he didn't always really like because of his co-workers. Jake was one of the 2 persons in camp who knew about Dwight's past. And with that he also knew that if Dwight was really at home, it wouldn't be fine.
Meg got up, "Guys look. I can't imagine the Entity sending Dwight back to the normal world. He was here earlier than any of the rest of us. He helped us whenever he could. We can't let him down now. "She looked determined to find Dwight again, what Jake understood. The relationship between Meg, Claudette, Dwight and Jake had always been very special. They were the first four here. And so they had tied a special bond. They were the best team together and had learned best to work together.
Jake had to smile slightly. Yes. She was right. He wasn't going to let Dwight down. "I will always take care of you when I find you again ..." he mumbled softly and barely audible for others. Suddenly Laurie stumbled over to the campfire looking pretty traumatized by her standards. Immediately many rushed to question her, but Jake didn't care until a word got his interest. "Dwight." Immediately his head shot around looking at her and he walked towards her. "What about Dwight ???" Briefly she took a deep breath and then exhaled before she uttered a word, and he thought he had misheard. "Killer!"
Jake looked at Laurie like she had a crack in her head. "What about Dwight and Killer? Is a killer doing something to him? Has something happened to him?" Claudette asked nervously and the disbelief could also be heard in her voice. At that moment, David joined them. "She is right. The killer was Dwight. "Jake looked at him, shocked.
How could he say such a ridiculous thing? It just had to be a joke. But the survivor saw the answer in her eyes. It wasn't.
"Why the hell would Dwight be a killer? We're talking about DWIGHT here!" Jake defended him immediately. "He wouldn't hurt a fly!" agreed Meg. "There must be some misunderstanding." Adam now also said, for who it was unimaginable that the nice young man had become a killer. Jake got a little angry. "How can you say something so absurd?" he shouted, refusing to believe it, even if a small part of him thought it was a good explanation. Could that be the reason for his disappearance?
Feng and Nea also arrived and confirmed what had been said before. Jake felt sick and felt the need to throw up. Had Dwight, his Dwight, really turned into a monster who was now mercilessly slaughtering people? As much as he prayed and wished it wasn't true ... Part of him already knew the truth.
The anger turned to frustration and the frustration turned to sadness. The sadness turned into guilt and the guilt turned into anger again. To anger towards himself. Towards the ones who made Dwight cry. Anger that he couldn't help him. He, who usually kept a cool head, now freaked out completely in his thoughts. He knew it wasn't his fault and yet he gave it to himself. He hadn't been a good best friend. He should have taken care of him.
The voices in his head telling him this got louder and louder and he decided to go jogging in the forest. Maybe that would cool his head a bit. He ran in silence and tried not to think about anything. After a quarter of an hour jogging he discovered something strangely shiny on the floor and he leaned down. Was it something valuable? He picked it up and raised it right in front of his eyes. Glasses. And he also knew exactly who they belonged to.
"Dwight," he whispered, hugging the glasses a bit, being careful not to break them. It was the only thing left of him. Dwight's smell in the tent had passed and nothing else remained of him. He stared at the filthy glasses. "I promise.... I'm not giving up on you ... "And with this promise he made his way back to the others, thinking of ways to win back his best friend.
A crack. A giggle. Dwight stared at the corpse in front of him. Motionless and dead. It was Jeff's body. Jeff thought he had to provoke him. And since Dwight was neither very strong nor particularly tall, the Entity had given him the ability to kill one of the survivors directly in every trial. They usually call it Mori, but with Dwight it was a ability. Or rather a perk. Because he had a different ability. He glanced at his blood-stained hands.
He would never have thought that something like this could become of him. After all, he hadn't even been able to defend himself properly when attacked. And now he was the attacker himself. It was only his third trial as a killer and yet it felt like he'd been doing it forever. The judge. That was the name Dwight had gotten from the Entity. And to be honest, he liked it quite a bit. As for his ability, he couldn't complain. And his Mori... he thought the absolute best thing about being a killer was his mori. He had received a small scale from the Entity to be able to mori people his way.
There was a quiet noise rustling from one of the bushes and Dwight immediately turned around. He saw Nea looking out of the bushes. Exactly the person his anger was aimed at. The pain was gonr when he became a killer. The anger had taken over him and now controlled him completely. Dwight raised his sword-like weapon and ran towards Nea, who backed away. "I am sorry!" she said and for not even a second Dwight actually hesitated. Then he rammed his weapon into the weak body of the young woman. Nea screamed and started running away. She called out "I didn't mean to be so mean. I'm sorry. Please come back." But as quickly as these words entered Dwight's ears, just as quickly did they leave them.
Without really listening to her he stabbed again and Nea fell to the ground. Her body was full of wounds, scratches, and blood. So much blood Dwight looked at his work for a moment and carried her then to the hook, where he then hooked her. Without paying any more attention to her, he looked for someone else to kill. He had fewer feelings and yet he hoped neither Claudette nor Jake were here. He couldn't stand the sight of them. He felt left alone, betrayed and hurt.
Behind a couple of old tires he spotted something pink and was almost immediately sure that it was Yui. With the advantage of his teamwork with the others for years, he knew all of their tricks and strategies. He had partly invented these himself. Immediately he made his way to Yui, but then broke off because he noticed how someone was unhooking Nea. With a slight grin he ran over there as fast as his legs would carry him and went straight back to hunting Nea and tunnling her. And after a few minutes, in which two generators had been repaired, he finally felt his weapon dig into Nea's back. The moment she went down, it was worth it for him. He had sacrificed things to the Entity and now he could mori her.
He leaned over her, turned her onto her back, and just pushed his hand in her body. She screamed and whimpered as he slowly pulled her soul out of her body until she suddenly lay there completely motionless and empety. Just like he has felt. Dwight took out his scale and put her soul on it. There was a small weight on the other side. And the Soulside of the went down.
Everything Nea Karlsson had ever done wrong, all of her sins were weighed here so that the judge could choose a fair punishment. Nea's sins pushed the scale down and a satisfied grin grew on Dwight's face. He pressed her soul back into her body and all the life came back. She stared at him in shock as he raised his sword and with a "Guilty." rushed it down on her. And with that, her head was separated from the rest of her body.
The killer with the glasses kept looking around and somehow was nervous. Memorys flooded through him. He was in the huge chapel. He felt like someone was staring at him and felt quite uncomfortable. But who would watch a killer, except for a few Toxic Survivors who wanted to mess with him? There was a quiet crack and he turned around immediately. By now he had gotten used to the whole killing thing and found out that killing actually could be fun and bring joy. He had also found out that many of the killers who were so mean in the Trials could be very friendly in the camp. They also were only human or just somehow supernatural beings.
Amanda was a bit nasty sometimes, but otherwise totally cool. Bubba was kind of a giant baby and Hillbilly was a toddler. Ghostface was a nice person when he wasn't invading your privacy and the Legion was made up of a bunch of teenagers who just wanted to break all kinds of rules. Anna was the nicest of them all. She had accepted Dwight there first, and she and Sally had taught him a lot.
It was really interesting to see the whole thing from a different point of view. Many killers were pure evil. Michael Myers, Trapper and a few others maybe, but the rest were either hurt souls or people with different views on life. Dwight came back from his own world in his head and stared at the person who was staring into his eyes as well.
He actually hesitated for a moment, but then did what the Entity wanted him to do. He raised his weapon and was ready to kill the survivor, but something was stopping him. "So what everyone says is true." Jake said calmly and looked into what Dwights beautiful eyes with sheer disappointment. Dwight paused for a moment, then suddenly hit Jakw with his weapon. The weapon bored into Jake's much more fragile body and the survivor screamed.
A short pain went through Dwight's heart, but he pushed that feeling aside again, remembering Jake and Michael and what they'd done. What it had done to him. How unimportant he felt. How unimportant he was. The anger came over him again. Jake held the bleeding wound but didn't move until Dwight took a swing. Realizing that Dwight would really pull it off, he ran. Dwight immediately followed and the hunt began.
Dwight kept trying to dig his weapon into Jake, but it didn't really work. While Jake thought Dwight just wasn't getting it right, Dwight knew the truth. A truth that was very different. He didn't try too hard. He tried, but his heart held him back. And then there was that one moment that happened sometimes during a hunt.
His blood lust increased and his feelings and inhibitions switched off. And just seconds later, Jake was lying on the floor, whimpering and bleeding. But it wasn't just his body that ached as Dwight stared down at him so coldly. There was no sadness or emotion in his gaze. Did he really not care at all that Jake suffered? And so Jake's heart ached as if it had just been torn apart. "Dwight ..." he whispered in frustration and clenched his fists.
Dwight froze when Jake whispered his name, but then continued silently. Jake wondered why he had stopped for a moment. He was sure there was still the real Dwight somewhere under this cover. His dwight. A broken man who had been hurt far too many times. Jake started fighting with all his powers when Dwight tried to carry him to the hook and actually managed to fight his way out of his grip.
But instead of running away, he took Dwight's hand and hugged him. In general, it was mostly Dwight who wanted to cuddle and Jake had just enjoyed being around him. But now Jake gave him a hug too. He wrapped his arms tightly around the killer's torso. "Jake..." he heard a low voice and had to smile slightly until Dwight tried to push him away. He held on to him desperately and didn't want to let go.
"Let go." this time it was a growl. "I can't," Jake muttered, burying his face in Dwight's hair as he hugged him. Suddenly he felt a strong pain in his back and cried out loudly and let go of Dwight, whose swordknive was stuck in his back. He looked at him injured and desperate before he fell to the ground. He tried to see regret or pain in Dwight's eyes, but all he saw was anger.
He lay helpless on the floor and couldn't get up. But instead of hanging him up, Dwight turned around and left the bleeding and whimpering Jake on the floor. What Jake didn't know, however, was that Dwight was doing this to stop hurting him. Because even if he had a heart made of stone, he couldn't pull it off. He took a deep breath before he went back on the hunt for other survivors. However, he could no longer concentrate properly. His heart cried out for something it couldn't have. So he was very happy and thankful when his feelings switched off again and he mercilessly chased and killed all survivors. However, there was no trace of Jake for the rest of the Trial, until finally only he was left.
He was looking for the hatch. Nobody had helped him up and now he was nervously crawling around. Whenever he heard his heart beating faster, he froze for a moment, knowing that it was his Dwight who was waiting to kill him too. Dwight searched everything and finally found the hatch, which he closed. Jake lay there hopelessly. He didn't have a chance to escape anyways. And that was no longer important. He started crawling around, searching for Dwight. When his heartbeat got stronger he crawled in the direction where his heart was beating faster and after a short time he saw a Dwight who had apparently given up and was now sitting on a few boxes. Even if he looked completely different, it was still unmistakably Dwight. A bit of blood ran out of his completely white eyes and he had scars on his face. What happened there?
He crawled up to Dwight and used all his remaining strength to stand up, barely able to do so. Dwight seemed so deep in thought that he didn't even notice him. And then it happened. Jake couldn't stand and fell on top of Dwight. With a startled scream the Killer fell from the boxes and they both landed on the floor. Dwight stared in shock at Jake, who was lying on top of him and had landed soft. Jake smiled slightly nervously despite the pain, while the killer just lay under him in disbelief and then mumbled something. "Jake ..."
"Dwight ..." Jake whispered and Dwight's heart began to race again, as if he was being followed by killers back then. His thoughts went crazy. Then Dwight realized he was a killer and half-heartedly tried to push Jake off him, but somehow he couldn't quite do it. Michael.
With a bang and a scream, Jake flew off Dwight and was slammed into the boxes. The feelings that had just kept him from hurting Jake had disappeared. Instead, the thought of Jake kissing Michael had spread in his mind and infected him like a virus. And this thought alone was enough to blow all the fuses in his head and drive him completely crazy. Jealousy overwhelmed him. It ate him up from the inside.
Jake lay helpless and injured on the boxes while Dwight stood up. Both knew there was only a little bit of time left before the Entity would kill Jake. Pain pierced Dwight's heart and he wanted to cry. But no matter how much he wanted to cry, he just couldn't. "Dwight ... No matter what or who had hurt you so much .. Together we can do it. You're my best friend." Jake pleaded. "No Jake. It's not something you can fix. And us and best friends? Those days are definitely over." Jake looked at the killer, who once was his best friend. "Why can't we fix this ...?" He asked hurt. Although Dwight's words hurt him less. What hurt him was how Dwight had became. From his dear, helpful, sweet best friend. "Because you can't undo kisses ..." Dwight whispered extrem softly and quiet, hoping Jake wouldn't have heard it before the Entity killed him. But Jake had heard his words before he died ...
