#kimheechulspx

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nothing like us ; heechul & himchan

After successfully going through the tests the agency had put him through, Himchan had been assigned to his first mission after he came back from his two weeks break - he still had time before going to the meeting and he was making his way to the cafeteria all the while reading a book about the suppression of emotions in professional situations. It wasn’t that he needed advice and tips about this topic, he was already great at keeping his emotions in check but he just wanted to make sure that his brain got all the necessaries information just in case. He knew that another failed mission wouldn’t sit well with his superiors, and himself. 

Just like he knew that this mission was the final test. Whether he stayed at the Kingsman agency depended of the success of his mission and he was well aware that any detail would be scrutinized, analyzed and kept in archives for his next moment of weakness. In another word, Himchan had to be nothing less but perfect. And that was something he knew how to do, thankfully. Those two weeks away had him realize what were his priorities and losing his job because of his weaknesses and feelings wasn’t one. 

Going down the wooden stairs that led to the cafeteria, Himchan closed the book and pushed his fake-glasses up his nose. It wasn’t because they had a camera in there or because he needed glasses to see, it was just an effect for fashion - he had to look handsome no matter where he was, after all. Dragging his fingers through his blond hair, he wondered what kind of mission he was going to send onto when his body surprisingly met another body when he turned the corner, bumping right into the only person he had wanted to avoid and forget. 

“Heechul hy-- ssi.” 

@kimheechulspx

[himchanspx-blog]

10, 13, 21 & 27 :)

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT MEME

10.What makes them feel safe or secure? What makes them feel insecure or unsafe?

Himchan feels most safe when he is on a mission. Even if things don’t go accordingly to plans, he knows that he still has some control over the situations, he knows what he has to do from beginning to end and he believes in himself. He is the only person he trusts at 100% and despite his recklessness, he knows what to do to keep himself secure - at least most of the times. In contrary, he feels unsafe whenever unpredictable stuff happens and he has no control over them. When it doesn’t fit in his plans, when he has to think harder and faster but gets no solution, that’s when he starts to feel unsafe. 

13. What decision in their past did they most analyze and fret over after the fact?

He isn’t one to analyze for too long what has happened to him in the past - it’s done, it’s over and it’s not like he can change what’s happening no matter how much he sees the movie in his brain and Himchan has kept this state of mind ever since he left high school. He tries not to think about the past while he is conscious… Until he met Heechul and found himself unable to stop thinking about every single thing that has happened between them, no matter how bad and good it was. He has analyzed the Valentine’s Day Scavenger hunt the most but without reaching a satisfying conclusion which annoys him and pisses him off. 

21. How well do they take criticism? How do they react to others noticing their flaws?

Well, Himchan and criticism don’t fit. He has worked hard to get where he is now and to have someone criticizing him or his ways or his behavior tends to irritate him to no end and he can easily get angry and snap. He thinks that nobody has ever the right to judge him. And if his flaws are noticed, he’ll do anything to make them forget through his charms - he’ll do what he is the best at, obviously. 

27. Do they have children? Do they want children? What names would they choose?

He doesn’t have children and he doesn’t want them. It’s not because he hates children - he just thinks that because of his genetics, there’s more chances of him screwing everything up and hurting his ‘possible’ children than him being a good father. He doesn’t ever want to give children the childhood he had so that’s why he doesn’t want children – he isn’t even sure that there’s even someone in this world who would consider having children with him anyway. ( But of course he has thought of names: Yeji for a girl, Hyunjae for a boy. )

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can’t turn back now, I’m haunted ; heechul & himchan

It had been three days since Himchan had some sleep - just a small hour where he had allowed himself to close his eyes, thinking that he’d be able to deal with the sounds and images, that maybe he’d be able to get a grip on himself but, hah, who was he kidding? He woke up with a hand gripping at the gun he was hiding under his pillow, drops of sweat rolling down his face and the despaired screams of people dying echoing in his ears. 

PTSD, a voice was whispering in his head. Himchan refused to listen to it; he wasn’t traumatized by any mean. Being traumatized was for weak people and wasn’t weak, dammit. He was strong and he had easily been able to move on from the masquerade fiasco, it was just his stupid brain who wouldn’t let him forget about what happened. Not his fault. Not. His. Fault. 

Why are you staying close to the doors, then? 

Shut Up. 

The agent stepped through the doors of the agency, the tense atmosphere making him inhale through his nose and clench his jaw - the feeling of running away to safety crawled up his spine and curled itself around his heart, always present with each of his steps that led him further inside and away from the outside world. In all honesty, he didn’t know which was worse but at least, he kept himself busy at the agency and didn’t have time to face his personal demons each time he allowed them to come out and keep him company. (Which happened way too often lately but Himchan didn’t have the strength to fight them back when he was alone and they laughed over his shoulders and haunted him tirelessly-- )

A file was handed over to him and he was asked to join the agent who was already waiting for him for their mission. He would have rather used his time searching for the criminals but it wasn’t like he could refuse a mission so he quickly went over the details of the mission: it was simple, just blend yourself in and observe the target and take notes of his habits. A piece of cake, Himchan thought as he threw the file on the passenger’s seat of the car he was driving. 

He should have looked at his partner’s name. 

Driving was another test. Something that used to relax him was now putting him under stress, the sound of cars honking or the cars suddenly appearing from one side or another had Himchan restlessly drumming his fingers against the steering wheel as he repeated himself that no one was going to kill him or explode or kill innocents-- He was fine, perfectly fine. He’d make the mission a success with his partner, go home and get some deserved sleep; if only he managed to get the caffeine out of his system. He made a mental note to buy sleeping pills before he parked the car and made his way over to the agent he knew was waiting for him at the terrace of a coffee shop their target was a regular at. 

But the familiar profile and the way the man held himself felt like a slap for Himchan who was just thrown ten years in the past when he was fat, dumb and useless, when he let his bullies hit him and abuse him each single day without being able to defend himself -- His blood ran cold and Himchan found himself unable to step forward, memories of him curled up on the floor of the bathroom in an attempt to try and protect himself from the kicks and laughter and mockeries flooding his mind, making him feel like he was back to his fifteen years old self and all of his self-confidence disappeared when the man turned his head towards him and locked eyes with Himchan. 

Himchan had a partner, and it was his bully. 

@kimheechulspx​ 

[kimheechulspx-blog]

Work this out. [JHS&KHC]

Slowly sipping on his Ice Caramel Macchiato he sat himself down in his chair. He was smiling contently as he turned on his computer. For the first time ever the cashier had understood what he wanted, while he didn’t understand why it was the first time they understood. An Ice Caramel Macchiato, with ice that is actually crushed, an extra shot of espresso, some extra milk which definitely had to be soya, whipped cream and some caramel and chocolate drizzle. He wasn’t a picky man. With the extra that they wrote his name correct, because how hard could the name Heechul actually be.

After finishing his game of candy crush he put his phone carefully aside and put on his headset. He was really on time, since he didn’t have to complain at least five times this morning about his coffee, which meant he could open up the file about his colleague. Jung Hoseok. He recognized the guy a bit, knowing he was a raven just as Heechul himself. With a little smirk he read the little bit of information they gave him. He was going to teach this kiddo how the real work was done.

As time went by it became time to go online and talk to his handler. He opened up all the correct screens that he would need to guide the guy through his mission. Meaning some camera’s in the area that he was in, the camera he would wear and the camera that was pointed at the target. He then turned on his headset and smirked slightly. “Good morning cupcake, are you ready for this job?”