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oliver: okay STORY TIME today at work some older gentleman brought in his dog and they had a lil handkerchief around their neck and they were literally so cute I started crying??
oliver: so the man asks me if I'm okay and I can't just tell him I'm crying over his dog sO I tell him this huge elaborate (and fake) story about a girlfriend who I've loved since I was 12 and how we were best friends and we'd drifted apart since she got her new job and the financial strain between us had erased the magic in our relationship and she broke it off to 'find herself again' and I wanted to work things out and now I miss her more and more everyday
oliver: so basically I'm legitimately heartbroken and yearning for my fake ex girlfriend... will ice cream fix this?
